Happy Baby, Happy Family: Learning to trust yourself and enjoy your baby. Sarah Beeson

attachment – but it’s not always easy. Please don’t think you are doing something wrong if you find it challenging, because it can be. You wouldn’t expect to get into a car for the first time and just drive it; it takes practice and then one day you find yourself driving along without really even having to think about it.

      Nearly all babies have some frustration when learning how to feed; you’re both doing something new for the first time, and practice makes perfect when it comes to breastfeeding.

      The first time you breastfeed

      If possible, put your baby to the breast as soon as possible after delivery so they benefit from the colostrum (the milk you produce from birth) – it’s full of antibodies and nutrients that are perfect for your baby.

      Making Milk for Your Baby

      The milk you produce after giving birth is called colostrum – it is designed by nature especially for your baby to help them fight infection and get off to a flying start. It is thick, yellow and chock-full of protective antibodies.

      There are three stages of milk production during the first week:

      1st Stage Colostrum produced from birth to 3–4 days

      2nd Stage Transitional milk from 3–4 days to 7+ days

      3rd Stage Mature milk from 7+ days

      Skin to skin

      Put your naked baby (with or without nappy) against your bare chest or tummy and hold them close. Relax and enjoy your baby – you’ve been waiting for this moment. Skin-to-skin contact as soon as possible after birth is beneficial for babies, mums and dads – it is a very special feeling.

      Skin to skin helps to stimulate your body’s production of breast milk and allows both parents to bond with their baby. Most hospitals encourage skin to skin and will help you do it for the first time as soon as your baby is born. It will help your Little One (I’ll refer to your baby as ‘LO’ throughout this book!) to feel comforted and secure.

      Visualising holding your baby for the first time is a positive image many women use during labour to help them focus on the end result. You can go back to skin to skin over the weeks and months to come when your baby needs comforting – babies just adore it.

      Trust Yourself

      Dads Can Do Skin to Skin Too

      Skin to skin with Mum or Dad is great. Your LO will be comforted by familiar sounds from the womb like your heartbeat and breathing, and just love the warmth and the closeness.

      Breastfeeding if your baby is in a special care baby unit

      Some babies, due to complications or premature birth, need extra care in a neonatal unit from dedicated hospital staff. I know how this feels: my own baby, Amy, was seven weeks premature and weighed only 2 lb 11 oz and was in the incubator for five weeks. You may feel a mixture of anxiety, hope, love, fear and anger that this is happening to you and your baby. Many women find the separation from their baby overwhelming, and naturally so. Like any new mum, taking care of yourself will help you to give your child the love and care they need. In the days, weeks and months to come, it may be you can easily put it behind you, but some mums do find the experience can be difficult to shake off. (If you find you are still feeling anxious or low about the experience you had giving birth, have a look at Chapter 4, Being a New Mum Is Life Changing).

      If your baby is in an incubator or needs special care, it is still possible to breastfeed. All babies benefit from breast milk, but poorly or premature babies really do – your milk will help give your Little One the nourishment they need. It might be that you need to express your breast milk rather than feed directly from the breast (have a look at the section on expressing breast milk later in this chapter). You may only be able to express a little milk during the first few days, but that precious colostrum is going to make a big difference to your baby and it is full of antibodies. Both you and the nursing and midwifery team may feed your baby through a tube until the baby is ready to feed independently at the breast.

      As soon as a newborn baby shows they are ready to suckle and are more alert you should be able to start breastfeeding your baby whilst you’re in hospital. If you’re on a separate ward or have been discharged you can leave expressed breast milk for the times you won’t be there.

      It is the skin-to-skin contact that will help stimulate the milk supply and give you the opportunity to have some one-to-one time with your Little One. Enjoy those cuddles and remember, the more contact you have, the better. It’ll help you relax and become more familiar with each other, and will get your baby demanding and you supplying breast milk.

      It’s likely you will be offered professional help to get you started with breastfeeding, but this is no reflection on you – breastfeeding in these circumstances is challenging. Getting the right support, whether that’s from the nursing and midwifery team, family or friends, will make a big difference – you are not alone, take it one step at a time.

      How breastfeeding supports attachment between mother and baby

      The touch of your skin your baby experiences during breastfeeding, the sound of your breath and heartbeat all contribute towards the development of a very strong bond between mother and child. Breastfeeding mums have to put their baby at the centre of their lives. You cannot leave your baby for long peri-ods of time if you are breastfeeding, so, without giving it much conscious thought, you will naturally be tuning in to the rhythm of your baby, instinctively putting their needs first and doing all the elementary things that help to build strong attachment. You’ll be enjoying the looks, smiles and little touches your baby only gives you whilst you’re nursing. You’ll hear their first coos and gurgles and have plenty of opportunity to talk, sing to and cuddle your baby. All of this will help your Little One to feel loved and secure, because the foundation of attachment is laid down from the earliest days of your baby’s life.

      Developing your latching technique

      During the first week, when the milk comes in, sometimes women experience a toe-curling sensation for the first few seconds as the baby latches on (but this won’t last much beyond the first week). This sensation varies from woman to woman – for some it’s a small sharp shock, for others it’s akin to plucking your eyebrows, and then there are those fortunate mums who don’t feel a thing.

      As long as your baby is properly attached, any discomfort should last for only a few moments. If pain persists during the feed, I’d suggest talking to a health professional about latching on and positions, to find a solution that’s going to be right for you.

      Start by supporting your baby’s head, shoulders, neck and back. Tilt your baby’s head back safely to bring them up towards the breast. Your baby needs to have a big open mouth and be brought up towards the nipple from underneath the breast to enable them to latch on.

      You need to get the whole areola (the dark circle surrounding the nipple) or nearly all of it into the baby’s mouth to ensure good attachment. Your baby’s nose should be in line with your nipple, with their chin touching your breast, keeping the baby’s nose clear so as not to obstruct breathing.

      For most women breastfeeding is a big challenge, though a very rewarding one. It is demanding both in the time it takes and in the levels of energy it uses. There will be the occasional woman who never has a day’s difficulty, but most women have issues at some point – but all problems have solutions and you’ll be so pleased you kept on going.

      I always say that every day you breastfeed is a massive achievement, so just take it one day at a time. Using a relaxation technique that might have helped you in labour could help you get through those first few uncomfortable seconds. Just do what feels right for you.

      Trust Yourself

      Getting Your LO to Open Wide

      Brush your baby’s top lip and/or cheek with your nipple. This makes them open nice and wide for the whole areola.

      Trust Yourself

      Keeping