Intertwined Fates. Ariana Bazhenova

start of the project for which we were preparing psychological training, and a dozen people were seated around a long glass table.

      I turned around and saw Leo. He paused for a moment in the doorway, glanced around the table, and then quietly walked over and sat down on the chair next to me. I looked at him and smiled warmly. The meeting had begun.

      Schwein picked up a sheet of paper with the names of the employees who had applied to participate in the training project and ran her gaze down the list.

      – Vasily? The mechanic from the garage? – She looked up at us and continued with a loud laugh. – Don’t you think that he, how can I say this, shows the traits of a sociopath? A real one. Aiming to be a boss?

      I turned around in confusion, glancing at my colleagues. They laughed artificially and tensely in response to her remark, exchanging glances with each other.

      I winced slightly. «As far as I know, she is a software engineer by education, not a psychiatrist or even a psychologist. She openly diagnoses other people, and in such a rude manner and ridicules them in public? As a psychologist, I don’t understand this,» I frowned. But, remembering our warm morning conversation, I immediately tried to convince myself: «Perhaps this is just a peculiar sense of humor. And yet, it is unethical and unacceptable.»

      My respect for Eva Schwein used to be unwavering, but now an unpleasant aftertaste fell on my soul. In any case, I am grateful to her for putting me to work with Leo – I want to believe with all my might that I will have the same happy story as Marina Voikova, whose happiness was built by the hands of this woman.

      I caught Leo’s gaze sitting next to me – just as puzzled as mine, and shrugged slightly.

      – We are crossing Ivan off the list of participants, – Schwein snapped her fingers, then ran her eyes over the column of small black text.

      I put a small cross next to the name of one of the employees in my copy of the list, marking that he was no longer among the participants.

      – So they put a cross on the man, – I whispered jokingly, slightly tilting my head towards Leo.

      Suddenly he snatched the pen from my hands and drew a large grave cross next to the employee’s name. I stared at him with wide eyes, not understanding what he was doing. – That’s how you put a cross on a person! – he blurted out unexpectedly loudly, and silence hung in the air.

      A dozen pairs of eyes stared at us, displeased and at the same time surprised.

      «Typical of a knight of swords with his harsh humor, no less,» I thought, taking the pen from him. On the outside, I was embarrassed, but deep inside, something timidly rejoiced at his latest inept attempt to get closer to me.

      «And now let’s move on to the last question,» Eva Schwein continued, breaking the awkward pause hanging in the air. – After the participants listen to your lectures, they will need to prepare a final paper. And each of you must become a curator for one of them. And Kira will take two at once!

      – Me? – I was taken aback, tearing my gaze away from the sheet of paper covered with writing and raising it to her. – But how can I be a curator of more experienced employees? I’ve only been here for a short time!

      – You can do it! – Leo’s confident voice suddenly rang out over my ear.

      I, and everyone else after me, stared at him in surprise. Seeing how my face was flushed with a thick blush and a wide smile did not leave my lips, my colleagues decided to tactfully remain silent. I felt that the blood was burning my cheeks from the inside. My chaotically wandering, embarrassed gaze caught on his hand with its graceful fingers – I wanted so much to cover it with my palm now as a sign of ardent gratitude. But the unchanging shine of the ring on his finger burned me, and I, slightly drooping, looked away from his hands.

      – Thank you for your support! – I only whispered, unable to raise my eyes to him. «You’ll succeed, you’re responsible,» he whispered back.

      At that moment, it seemed like bright flowers had blossomed in my soul under the hot sunlight – despite the frost outside. Leo supported me in front of everyone, like a true knight. I remembered all our cozy get-togethers in his office and video calls to discuss the project from home, the warm touch of hands during the excursion.

      The meeting ended, and everyone left the room. I lingered a little, collecting sheets of paper with notes, and went to the door. Leo remained in the office when everyone left, and waited for me near the exit. I looked up at him and saw how he looked back – tenderly and patronizingly. He was happy to stand up for me and proud of himself.

      «Leo, thank you again,» I barely audibly said, trying not to betray my traitorously ragged breathing. We walked down the narrow white corridor as slowly as possible, discussing various little things. As we were going down the marble stairs, I accidentally tripped, and the sheets of paper I had carefully collected fell out of my hands with a loud rustle. Leo turned around in a flash:

      – What are you doing! You scared me! I was already tensed, ready to catch you! – he blurted out loudly, so that the employees standing by the stairs heard us, and bent down, collecting the papers.

      – Thank you. Everything is falling out of my hands, I need to sleep more, – I smiled embarrassedly, taking the stack of sheets from his hands.

      – Take care of yourself, – he said briefly, and we went our separate ways.

      And only at the end of the day, calmly finishing work on another report, inspired by our warm conversation today, I felt the first cracks appear in my heart.

      A colleague from the neighboring department ran into the office, loudly exclaiming:

      – And I told you that Lev’s wife, Christina, is pregnant! Look, she’s going on maternity leave in April!

      I glanced at her briefly and immediately looked away, feeling how all the weight of the world was gathering in them. A deep furrow ran between my eyebrows. I knew that they had been unable to have a child for so many years – gods, why now? When everything was just starting to get better?

      The world before my eyes swam, shattered into pieces, like a kaleidoscope, and I turned away to the window, absentmindedly looking at my gloomy reflection. It was as if someone had struck me with a sharp point under the solar plexus, and I almost doubled over, greedily gasping for air. Now I didn’t even try to hide my grief from my colleagues, which shone through in my every movement and gathered like heaviness around my eyes. Just a little more – and streams of tears will flow from them.

      I need to hold back, not to burst into tears right here, wait until I get home…

      Pregnant? But how can that be? After all, we are already in love, and the ice between us has broken – it can’t be stopped.

      I didn’t know that in one day you can experience so much delight and so much pain.

      ***

      Tuesday. This weekend we were supposed to present our psychology project. I was nervous, because I felt a great responsibility, especially at my first training in my life. So today after lunch we scheduled a training session with Leo in the conference hall.

      I knew that psychology and emotions are his element, when he takes off the protective masks of an intellectual, and a conversation about them will be lively, interesting and sincere, unlike some report on abstract topics. It will be a real hour and a half of rest in the middle of a hard working day, a breath of fresh air.

      If only I could forget this pain from the news of his wife’s pregnancy, which in an instant darkened all hopes. An immoral pain, to which I, in fact, had no right. And yet, it was destroying from the inside.

      I wanted to go up to Leo, shake him by the shoulders and throw out all