Confession of a Ghost. F.M. Dostoevsky award. Playing Another Reality. Alexandra Kryuchkova

it is now. Go with your phone.”

      “Excuse me, what time is it now?” I turned to the man, who had already packed their things while his wife was changing the clothes to their children.

      The man, having glanced at me briefly, turned to his wife,

      “I’m off. Waiting for you in the car.”

      I repeated my question to the woman, but she ignored me point-blank.

      “Alice, leave them alone, go back to the olives.”

      “Ray… Are they ghosts?” I whispered in horror.

      “Quite possible. Where were you yesterday?”

      “Well… yesterday… what was I doing here yesterday? You know, on Athos you live in such a relaxed way… Ah! I remembered! I took a boat trip to the Mountain!”

      “Did the monks bring the Gifts of the Magi from St. Pavlou?”

      “No, the Gifts of the Magi were brought last summer. The relics from Xenophontos were yesterday!”

      “Did you happen to see the ghost of Joice in Ouranoupoli?”

      “There are a lot of ghosts here! Who is that Joice?”

      “Don’t go back to your place now. Try dozing off again. Okay?”

      Ray’s words alerted me, but I immediately remembered a funny incident and laughed.

      “Is there a spider hiding in there? So do I have to wait until you drive it away with the power of thought?”

      “Almost there,” Ray chuckled.

      Somewhere in the Mist

      I hear the Moonlight Sonata and fall into the Mist…

      A Christmas skating rink was set up on Red Square. It was fabulous in the evening there as it should be on New Year’s Eve. Valery kept me company. He had visited the monastery of St. Panteleimon on Athos, stayed in Ouranoupoli, met Dimitra and Janis, bought icons. I took him to Nea Roda to the icon painted by Luke the Evangelist, but he felt nothing as well as in Russik.

      The phone rang, and the inscription on the screen in English said “Mount Athos”.

      “Alice, Merry Christmas!” I heard the familiar voice of Janis.

      “Merry Christmas, Janis!”

      We exchanged congratulations and said goodbye until August. I sent him a photo of our Red Square with chimes. He sent me a photo from an Athos monastery. I smiled and made a wish – to return to Athos, while Valery dreamt of a hot discount trip to Turkey.

      The Moonlight Sonata is getting louder…

      Eugene terrorized me with calls, and I hadn’t even switched to work with them yet. We had been introduced a fortnight before, they offered me to make a project from scratch. He asked my address, but I came to the center myself. We were sitting in a restaurant. He retold me his biography and offered to live with him in Thailand.

      “What do you mean?”

      “That’s what I’ve said. I live abroad. I visit Moscow from time to time. You’ll work on the project in absentia. That’s how we worked last winter. You can’t imagine how great it is! I had a mistress, but we have already broken up, and all sorts of drugs, and when we made love, it was very hot!”

      Ray looked at us, sitting at the next table, and laughed.

      “You are lucky, Alice!”

      I could hear nothing anymore, except for the Moonlight Sonata, getting louder and louder inside me, but…

      …

      Victor drove me to the underground and stopped the car. Recently, we had often communicated working on that project.

      “I can’t kiss you with his lips, but…” he said, and there was an awkward pause, and I saw Ray in the mirror, in the back seat, behind us, he said to me,

      “Hug him, Alice, as a friend. Don’t be cruel, you’re not me. He’s just like you, one of the few who means no harm to you.”

      I took Victor’s hand keeping silent, but suddenly… Oh no! The Moonlight Sonata was stopped by the sound of a slamming door! I saw myself walking out into the night. And I was still inside there, holding Victor by the hand! As a friend, as one who knew how much I was hurt, to whom I could tell everything, and who …

      “Ray! No!!!” I screamed into the mirror.

      “Yes, Alice, yes…”

      And I instantly woke up… On Athos…

      35 Before/6 After. House No. 2

      Treasure Island

      Somewhere in the Universe

      “Be bolder, Rukh, it’s not scary there!” the Guardian smiled as we approached House No. 2.

      “What is there?”

      “Treasures, exclusively earthly.”

      I closed my eyes, pulled the door open, and stepped inside. As soon as I felt something slippery under my feet, I was abruptly thrown up and then down, I opened my eyes and … gigantic waves came crashing down on me, throwing me into the raging element! Ominous sky, sparkling lightning, the raft with my Guardian sailing away… I went to the bottom like a stone, and a shark rushed towards me, maliciously baring its teeth. Suddenly, an old man in bright robes with an orange cap on his head appeared, picking me up at the very bottom. He lifted me up, returned me to the raft with the Guardian and disappeared. The storm was gradually subsiding. The clouds were moving away.

      “Glory to Saint Spyridon! Good sign, Rukh! So, on Earth, he will help you. Don’t forget to give him a new pair of slippers!”

      “Now I see why there is a skull with the sign ‘Remember the Death’ on the door of the Tower of My Life!”

      “There are also violets blooming there with butterflies fluttering above them as a symbol of transformation and immortality.”

      “Why are you always smiling, Angel?”

      “Because you become more and more human-like forgetting that you can’t drown yet.”

      “Where are we?” I looked around, but there was neither land nor treasures.

      “In the Sphere of your finances, material wealth, property and savings, your energy reserve, therefore – physical body nutrition, earthly goods.”

      “What kind of earthly wealth are you talking about here? There is only water all around!”

      “Steer your raft!”

      “I have no oars.”

      “By the power of thought and intuition! The Moon is in charge of your finances. You have a nose for money, you always feel where treasures are buried!”

      “Ugh,” I breathed out and realized that I had to swim to the right.

      Soon the Moon disappeared, the Sun rose, and an island loomed on the horizon.

      “There will be also some Sun in cold waters of your life,” the Guardian smiled. “Earnings thanks to intuition and common sense. It’s very good to see here the Sun, a friend of your Moon, although the Sun didn’t appear immediately. Saturn is half a step away from House No. 2, even if he were three steps away, in fact, he is present here invisibly and exerts his influence.”

      “Uninhabited?” I asked when we landed.

      “Yes, now find your treasures and get food.”

      “What food can one find here?” I was surprised, stepping onto the shore, where there was nothing but rocks and unknown trees.

      “Why