The chance to start a new life. How to make a conscious choice. Ida Prem (Turkan Gasimova)

event and your reaction to this event or to this stimulus, you have the opportunity to choose how you will react. This is the quality of an emotionally conscious mature person. I repeat that an emotional conscious person is not born in one day, it is a journey, it is a practice of acquiring skills, the beginning of a new “Self” and reboot. And each of us walks this path, consciously walks in order to bring ourselves and our lives to a qualitatively new level.

      Let’s go a little deeper in this chapter and reveal the topic of dependence on someone else’s opinion. I’ll start with a simple parable. A parable about how one person heard that a Buddha had come to a nearby village. This man was critical of the Buddha and considered him a charlatan. He went in search of the Buddha to tell him what he really thought about him, and when he finally found him, he spat at him and said all sorts of nasty things. When he finished, the Buddha asked, “Is that all you wanted to tell me?” The man replied, “Yes.” And then the Buddha turned around and went on his way. This man returned home and could not sleep all night, he was tormented by doubts. He tossed and turned, and kept thinking, or maybe he was wrong and said so many nasty things in vain. Probably, this is really a holy person, if he knows how to react to insults. After all, he didn’t answer anything, not a single muscle twitched in him, there was only peace in him. And waking up early in the morning, he went and picked flowers. He arranged the flowers into a beautiful wreath and went to look for the Buddha. And when he found him, he hung a wreath of fresh flowers around his neck and began to praise him in every possible way and say how wrong he was and how he repents. When he finished praising him, the Buddha asked, “Is that all you wanted to tell me?” The man replied, “Yes.” Then the Buddha turned around and went on peacefully on his way. The man was at a loss, he caught up with the Buddha and asked: “Please tell me why yesterday, when I spat at you and insulted you, you were not upset and were so calm. Why today, when I hung a wreath of flowers around your neck and began to praise you, did you not show your joy and were unperturbed? Then the Buddha replied: “Because I am not your slave.” How often do we become slaves to someone else’s mood, someone else’s fool, someone else’s whim, advice and much more? How often do we allow other people to determine how we feel and how we treat ourselves? This happens precisely when we have not developed a resource in ourselves – the resource of a mature person who will definitely filter what they let into their world and what they don’t, who understands where you just need to turn on awareness in time and put a barrier to your vibrational field or state that you will not allow to poison your life. And, of course, any person, even an emotionally mature one, has moments in life when they are more sensitive to information, these are some moments of turbulence, moments of internal doubt. There is also a circle of people who are very, very close to us, and their comments, their assessment still penetrates very far and can hurt a lot or, conversely, inspire a lot. This is understandable, however, you yourself know this difference. You can imagine in your head a person who is emotionally stable, who knows their own worth, who is aware of how they treat themselves, who they are and what they are. And you can also easily imagine a person who, like a pendulum, constantly fluctuates and reacts to the assessment of others. And unfortunately, it is incredibly difficult to live in such a state. In such a state, it is impossible to truly create something, because a person who does not trust their own opinion, but relies only on the reaction and on the opinion of others, cannot be creative, cannot let himself go on this creative flight. Another sad thing is happening. A person who is emotionally dependent on the opinions of other people is constantly trying to please, constantly trying to be good, suppressing their own interests, their emotions, changing their personality and adjusting themselves to be desirable, to be pleasing and acceptable to others. And, unfortunately, over time, all these things manifest themselves through a disease of the body, and this is inevitable.

      In the following chapters, I will touch on the underlying emotional issues that are dragging you or your loved ones down, poisoning your life. You will receive a lot of interesting information, which, most importantly, you will be able to apply in your new conscious life.

      Chapter 4. Awareness of emotions

      “Only limited people need years to get rid of some feeling or impression. And a man who knows how to control himself is able to put an end to sadness as easily as to find a new joy. I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to enjoy them, get everything I can out of them. I want to dominate my emotions.”

Oscar Wilde

      Awareness of emotions is what is necessary for any person who wants to build their life independently and qualitatively, without relying on anyone and not trying to please anyone. Only an emotionally mature person is able to build long-term and healthy relationships, whether it be family relationships, relationships with subordinates, with superiors, or with their loved ones, friends and society as such. I consider this topic one of the most important and aspects that are definitely worth mentioning as part of its consideration are the emotions of anger and aggression, and how to deal with uncontrollable anger. I will clarify that within the framework of this chapter, we will talk about the anger and aggression of an adult. Because if we are talking about small children, then the situation will be a little different, and the topic needs to be revealed in a different way. I will immediately ask the question – is it normal to feel anger, hatred? The answer is yes. Anger for a person is a natural emotion necessary for survival. If, say, your child is bullied by someone, it is quite logical that you will immediately experience anger. But at the same time there are different manifestations of anger, aggression and rage. They are not productive, which do not save you from anything and do not help you protect your interests, but on the contrary, they are an indicator, a symptom of your inability to protect yourself. The state of strong anger, aggression and rage are just a manifestation of a derivative of impotence, the weakness of your inner child. All of us were once children, and a child is a dependent being, and to some extent powerless, and I think each of us in one form or another was once the object of someone’s aggression, and this aggression could take the form of disrespectful, dismissive attitude, mockery, ridicule, and so on. The child, not understanding how he can defend himself or respond correctly to such a situation, experiences a feeling of powerlessness, and it is this feeling of powerlessness that, following fear, gives rise to a feeling of rage, aggression and rather unpleasant anger. And since the child does not have the right to show it, all these emotions are directed inward.

      In fact, the topic of emotions is very important. And I would like to make a small footnote, saying that in fact, all the emotions that we did not live through in childhood turn into negative programs in adulthood. Let me give you the following example: in childhood, a child witnesses a scene of violently cursing parents. At this moment, it feels a whole range of emotions – there is pain, fear, anger at its father, and pity for its mother, and again hatred for its father. So, in order to make it easier for the child, its consciousness deduces a formula, or rather the installation, that all men are despots or aggressors, and so on. In general, the child seemed to feel better at that moment, but the mindset was already embedded in her mind, and in adult life this girl fulfills this program with accuracy, choosing just such men in order to make sure every time that she was right. The fact is that the mindset actually rests on the spectrum of these emotions, and the subconscious mind is cyclical, and therefore periodically makes you experience these feelings and emotions so that a person accepts these emotions and lives them consciously. And the men she meets on her way are actually just activators of one or another emotion – aggression, anger, resentment, and so on. After all, in childhood, no one taught us to live and let go of these feelings.

      What happens when a person grows up? When a person grows up, they have the opportunity to protect themselves, to designate their boundaries, to protect them and observe them in any situation. The fact is that this childish impotence, the phantom of this feeling and weakness, often remains in the mind for a long time, and very often a person lives with these patterned sensations for many years, and sometimes even all their life. Now you have matured, and your impotence is illusory. Recall a situation when