The chance to start a new life. How to make a conscious choice. Ida Prem (Turkan Gasimova)

if this does not happen, it is offended, pouts, cries. Also, an adult, when they expect a lot, but does not receive it, they are very upset and offended. At the same time, emotionally immature people are people who can rarely wish happy birthday, rarely know how to thank. Emotional greed manifests itself in small things. This is dependence on someone else’s opinion, and it is very destructive. This feature alienates you so much from yourself that it will rather make you an unhappy person for the rest of your days. Emotionally immature people react very strongly to someone else’s assessment, to someone else’s opinion and even a displeased facial expression, some kind of someone else’s look can unsettle them. Their perception of themselves – how they look, who they are in this life, love and acceptance of themselves is very much dependent on the opinions and attitudes of others. These were the main distinguishing features by which one can understand whether a person is emotionally immature or not. Again I will tell you that it is better to look firstly at yourself, and not to try to analyze the people around you now. You should not try to figure out which of your loved ones is emotionally mature or immature. In fact, many of your environment most likely only “mirror” and reflect all your insincerity to yourself in various manifestations.

      Emotional awareness can be achieved in many ways. The first thing that happens in our society, it is adopted as an established model of behavior. If our parents were emotionally mature, conscious people, if they knew how to treat us from a certain age, as a separate person who has the right to opinion and respect, to his decision, then this person quite harmoniously over time acquires this emotional independence, this emotional maturity and takes responsibility for their life and for their decisions, for their emotions. The second way is more difficult. It is passed by those who, perhaps, are less fortunate with the example and with the situation. Such people are the majority. All of us in childhood, one way or another, lacked certain emotional resources, which, in fact, would be more important than an extra toy and an extra piece of cake. What is important is awareness, happiness and inner balance of a person throughout the life. This is the path of awareness, when a person, having thought a little, having stuffed bumps, being disappointed in something, begins to understand that something is not right here. It can be quite a painful path, but it is better to go through it and endure it than never to go through it. If you look around, you will see a lot of people who are living in the state of a child, in a state of emotional immaturity, infantilism. And what are the signs of this emotional immaturity? I want to reassure you right away that you don’t need to be scared if you notice any of the listed signs in yourself, this is absolutely normal. There is nothing wrong with this. But to live your whole life and never think about it, that’s really scary. But many people do not even suspect that there is such a thing, they cannot even look at the situation from the outside. They do not realize that they are in a cage, from which it is impossible to get out. The fact is that you will not be able to see the situation if you do not take a few steps back from it, if you do not look at it from the side. And one of the great news and opportunities to look at something outside of them is information that you just need to let through yourself, listen and at least a little realize it. And if you notice signs of emotional immaturity in yourself, this is very good. This means that if you want, you will very soon take your life to a new level.

      “It is those passions, the nature of which we misunderstand, that dominate us the most. And the weakest of all are feelings, the origin of which we understand. And often a person imagines that he is making an experience over others, when in reality he is making an experience over himself.”

Wilde O.

      Emotional growing up is an important part of life, as is self – acceptance. You will only gain by realizing all this. Be honest with yourself now and don’t be afraid, don’t scold yourself now, if you notice that you haven’t really matured, that you are still in the state of a child, then it’s better to realize this and decide what to do about it. If this is not realized, then nothing can be done about it. Each of us can become emotionally mature and this is not a myth, these are not empty promises, this is a real conscious change. This path is not always simple, not always pleasant and easy, because in fact it is convenient for us to be in the state in which we are accustomed to be. When we walk on already trampled roads, we do it automatically. This is our comfort zone, and if we are used to blaming everyone, complaining, being offended, if we are used to expecting attention from everyone, but not being the first to give this attention and love, then we will feel uncomfortable, we will need to make an effort on ourselves in order to change something. Consciously change your inner state, and turn from an emotional child into a full-fledged, self-aware, feeling person who has inner contact with the Self. And this is exactly what will take your life to a qualitatively new level. It’s like black and white.

      I will share with you a little of my experience and say that at one time I had such a problem. If I was in the company of a person in a bad mood, who was dissatisfied and annoyed with something, I was scared and somehow uncomfortable to show my good mood. It seemed to me that I needed to cheer up this person, appease or make them happy. In general, do something to make them feel better. And such behavior leads to our destruction, unfortunately, because we cannot be responsible for how others feel. It also leads to destruction due to the fact that we begin to regret, and pity takes away the strength of this person to cope with the situation on their own and makes them a victim. So be very careful about feeling sorry for yourself and for others. And if someone next to you is always in a bad mood, if a person always complains, is dissatisfied with something, or reacts angrily in some way, with such a person next to you, you still have the right to be happy, you have the right to be cheerful. And also you have the right not to be near such a person. It is clear that when our loved one feels bad, when they are sad, then, of course, a feeling of apathy and compassion is normal. It is quite logical that you will stop jumping for happiness and enjoy the world, you will come up and try to somehow sympathize. In fact, in order to prevent a person from entering the role of a victim, one should tell them at this moment that they will cope with the situation. Since such an attitude gives them strength rather than takes it away. Pity is one of the very subtle and destructive emotions. But mercy is a completely different matter.

      But there are people who are always in a bad mood, who simply cannot stand it when someone feels good around them, who get angry, but there is a reason for this. If you grew up in a family where parents, older brothers or sisters, grandparents could come and yell at you for no reason, just because they were in a bad mood, then such children grow up with some kind of built-in radar. This inner feeling captures and fixes the negative emotions of other people: how do people around you feel now, are they dangerous for you or not, do you need to quiet down now, stop rejoicing, try to appease them somehow, or do they still good mood and you can be yourself. There are children who grow up with drinking parents, and they constantly live in fear that if the father comes home drunk, he will beat and yell. Understand that this is a childish reaction, this is a trauma that controls you, because when you read, you think that everything can be fixed very easily. But in reality, everything is not so simple. And this speaks of your destructive program. And if you notice this for yourself, remind yourself all the time that you have grown up. Try to fish out this program, recognize and accept it, and then it will start to leave you. You now have the right and the resource to stand up for yourself and take responsibility for living a new life. You are an adult person, and children’s reactions will make themselves felt for some time. But, if you purposefully remind yourself of this, if you say that you are responsible only for your well-being, only for your mood and emotional state, then soon such children’s reactions will weaken and become a thing of the past. And when you try to adjust to someone’s mood, you lose yourself, and that’s the worst thing you can do. Betray yourself, lose yourself. Remember that you are an adult and have the right to any of your emotions. And if you are forced to live or spend a lot of time with people who are constantly bad, who are constantly unhappy and constantly negative, ask yourself if you need it. And at a minimum, allow yourself to experience what you want to experience next to such people. Joy means joy. If it’s cool for you, let it be cool for you. Believe that the world needs your good emotions. Emotional