The Rubicon. A play in two acts. Maxim Titovets

runs into Polina and Andrey in the stairway.

      Makar. Hi. How’s work?

      Polina. Great! Hope to be a waitress here for the rest of my life.

      Makar. What a bit of good!

      Polina. [To Andrey.] Are you married? You have a ring.

      Andrey. It’s a gruesome story. When I was a child, I was kidnapped by ornithologists…

      Andrey and Poline leave.

      Makar. The Moon is as beautiful as ever, outshining the Sun itself!

      Nadya. A nice suit. [Pause.] Didn’t they have your size?

      Makar. Nadya.

      Nadya. Don’t take chances, Makar.

      Makar approaches the door leading to Sea Lion’s study, peeps through a key-hole, and presses the door handle. The door is locked.

      Makar. Nadya…

      Nadya. Your brother lets you stay here out of pure generosity.

      Makar. Say just one word.

      Nadya. Go away, you viper.

      Pause.

      Makar. So, where is my goody-goody brother?

      Nadya. At the old ranger station, with the gamekeeper.

      Makar. A raid?

      Nadya. Some tourist has been ripped apart by a bear.

      Makar. Poor little bear. These two won’t let it go.

      Stvolov walks in.

      Nadya. Welcome to the Rubicon Hotel.

      Stvolov. It’s raining like hell. How are you, mistress?

      Makar. [Aside.] Could be better.

      Stvolov. Pour me some coffee and get me a bite to eat.

      Nadya. What about something stronger?

      Stvolov. A cognac, please.

      Makar comes up to the window and peers into the darkness.

      Stvolov. That went down good.

      Nadya. Have a slice of lemon, it’s on the house.

      Stvolov. There’s this village, Bear Creek Valley. How long will it take to get there?

      Nadya. Why would you go so far at this time of night?

      Stvolov. I’m going to see my brother.

      Makar. How long has he been in jail?

      Stvolov. He is a hydrologist there.

      Makar. Hydrologists, geologists… Our gold makes everyone restless.

      Nadya. Bear Creek Valley is three hundred kilometers away from the city. And we are right in the middle. The Rubicon.

      Stvolov. The Ru-bi-con.

      Makar. He’s gone.

      Stvolov. Who’s gone?

      Makar. Your taxi driver.

      Stvolov leaps up, dashes outside, and then comes back.

      Stvolov. Piece of shit. I didn’t get the plate number.

      Nadya. And your bag’s in the trunk.

      Makar. Count your lucky stars he didn’t bump you off on the way here.

      Nadya. God spare us.

      Stvolov. That’s a fine how-de-do you have here.

      Makar. It’s a dog-eat-dog world.

      Nadya. Welcome to the Rubicon Hotel.

      Scene 2

      The stage setting is the same.

      Sea Lion and Agap enter. Sea Lion is dressed in a sailor’s striped shirt. He is carrying a leather travel bag.

      Agap. Fuck…

      Sea Lion. What?

      Agap. I got soaked to the bone and almost froze to death.

      Sea Lion. It’s because you are a wuss.

      Agap. I’m frozen stiff because of this wind.

      Sea Lion. So, warm yourself, knucklehead. Maybe then you’ll hurry up your ass.

      Nadya. [Aside.] Speak of the devil.

      Makar. Agap! The street lamp isn’t working again. Go and fix it!

      Agap. Suck my dick, will you?

      Makar. Sure. If I can find it.

      Sea Lion. [To Agap.] First feed the cattle. Then move the jeep to the pit, the U-joint’s clunking. [Handing his car keys over to Agap.]

      Makar. So, goodbye, poor little bear…

      Agap leaves

      Nadya. Hello, Oleg. How did it go?

      Sea Lion. [Looking at Agap.] The priest has gone away – the devils in the churchyard play. [To Nadya.] How many guests are here today?

      Nadya. The place is chock-full.

      Sea Lion. Where’s Polina?

      Nadya. I’ve sent her upstairs to do some cleaning.

      Sea Lion. Send her in.

      Sea Lion unlocks the door of his study with a key and disappears inside.

      Scene 3

      Sea Lion’s study.

      Sea Lion is seated at his desk. There is a knock at the door. Polina enters carrying a tray. She puts a jug of water on the table.

      Sea Lion. Sit down. I’ll pay you up.

      Polina. Alright, Oleg Sergeevich.

      Sea Lion. You need money, don’t you? And yet you’re pussy-footing around it, not bringing the subject up.

      Polina. I do. You promised to pay me.

      Pause.

      Sea Lion. We agreed on twenty five grand a month.

      Polina. It was thirty grand.

      Sea Lion. No. Twenty five. It’s written down right here. I always pay twenty five thousand to the help. You’ve been working here for two months.

      Polina. Two months and seven days.

      Sea Lion. Exactly 2 months. You don’t get paid for the probation week.

      Polina. Alright.

      Sea Lion. Fifty grand in total… Minus eight Sundays off. Meaning out with seven grand.

      Last month, the road was blocked for three days. We had no guests, so you didn’t have any work. Minus two