KAI LUNG'S FANTASTICAL STORIES. Bramah Ernest

highest branches pierced the Middle Air, she cried aloud:

      “‘I cannot control my bitterness. Of what use is it that I should be called the “White Pigeon among Golden Lilies,” if my beauty is but for the hog-like eyes of the exceedingly objectionable Li Ting? Ah, Yung Chang, my unfortunate lover! what evil spirit pursues you that you cannot pass your examination for the second degree? My noble-minded but ambitious boy, why were you not content with an agricultural or even a manufacturing career and happiness? By aspiring to a literary degree, you have placed a barrier wider than the Whang Hai between us.’

      “‘As the earth seems small to the soaring swallow, so shall insuperable obstacles be overcome by the heart worn smooth with a fixed purpose,’ said a voice beside her, and Yung Chang stepped from behind the cypress tree, where he had been waiting for Ning. ‘O one more symmetrical than the chrysanthemum,’ he continued, ‘I shall yet, with the aid of my ancestors, pass the second degree, and even obtain a position of high trust in the public office at Peking.’

      “‘And in the meantime,’ pouted Ning, ‘I shall have partaken of the wedding-cake of the utterly unpresentable Li Ting.’ And she exhibited the bracelets which she had that day received.

      “‘Alas!’ said Yung Chang, ‘there are times when one is tempted to doubt even the most efficacious and violent means. I had hoped that by this time Li Ting would have come to a sudden and most unseemly end; for I have drawn up and affixed in the most conspicuous places notifications of his character, similar to the one here.’

      “Ning turned, and beheld fastened to the trunk of the cypress an exceedingly elegantly written and composed notice, which Yung read to her as follows:

      “‘Beware of Incurring Death from Starvation

      “‘Let the distinguished inhabitants of this district observe the exceedingly ungraceful walk and bearing of the low person who calls himself Li Ting. Truthfully, it is that of a dog in the act of being dragged to the river because his sores and diseases render him objectionable in the house of his master. So will this hunchbacked person be dragged to the place of execution, and be bowstrung, to the great relief of all who respect the five senses; A Respectful Physiognomy, Passionless Reflexion, Soft Speech, Acute Hearing, Piercing Sight.

      “‘He hopes to attain to the Red Button and the Peacock’s Feather; but the right hand of the Deity itches, and Li Ting will assuredly be removed suddenly.’

      “‘Li Ting must certainly be in league with the evil forces if he can withstand so powerful a weapon,’ said Ning admiringly, when her lover had finished reading. ‘Even now he is starting on a journey, nor will he return till the first day of the month when the sparrows go to the sea and are changed into oysters. Perhaps the fate will overtake him while he is away. If not—’

      “‘If not,’ said Yung, taking up her words as she paused, ‘then I have yet another hope. A moment ago you were regretting my choice of a literary career. Learn, then, the value of knowledge. By its aid (assisted, indeed, by the spirits of my ancestors) I have discovered a new and strange thing, for which I can find no word. By using this new system of reckoning, your illustrious but exceedingly narrow-minded and miserly father would be able to make five taels where he now makes one. Would he not, in consideration for this, consent to receive me as a son-in-law, and dismiss the inelegant and unworthy Li Ting?’

      “‘In the unlikely event of your being able to convince my illustrious parent of what you say, it would assuredly be so,’ replied Ning. ‘But in what way could you do so? My sublime and charitable father already employs all the means in his power to reap the full reward of his sacred industry. His “solid house-hold gods” are in reality mere shells of clay; higher-priced images are correspondingly constructed, and his clay gatherers and modellers are all paid on a “profit-sharing system.” Nay, further, it is beyond likelihood that he should wish for more purchasers, for so great is his fame that those who come to buy have sometimes to wait for days in consequence of those before them; for my exceedingly methodical sire entrusts none with the receiving of money, and the exchanges are therefore made slowly. Frequently an unnaturally devout person will require as many as a hundred idols, and so the greater part of the day will be passed.’

      “‘In what way?’ inquired Yung tremulously.

      “‘Why, in order that the countings may not get mixed, of course; it is necessary that when he has paid for one idol he should carry it to a place aside, and then return and pay for the second, carrying it to the first, and in such a manner to the end. In this way the sun sinks behind the mountains.’

      “‘But,’ said Yung, his voice thick with his great discovery, ‘if he could pay for the entire quantity at once, then it would take but a hundredth part of the time, and so more idols could be sold.’

      “‘How could this be done?’ inquired Ning wonderingly. ‘Surely it is impossible to conjecture the value of so many idols.’

      “‘To the unlearned it would indeed be impossible,’ replied Yung proudly, ‘but by the aid of my literary researches I have been enabled to discover a process by which such results would be not a matter of conjecture, but of certainty. These figures I have committed to tablets, which I am prepared to give to your mercenary and slow-witted father in return for your incomparable hand, a share of the profits, and the dismissal of the uninventive and morally threadbare Li Ting.’

      “‘When the earth-worm boasts of his elegant wings, the eagle can afford to be silent,’ said a harsh voice behind them; and turning hastily they beheld Li Ting, who had come upon them unawares. ‘Oh, most insignificant of table-spoilers,’ he continued, ‘it is very evident that much over-study has softened your usually well-educated brains. Were it not that you are obviously mentally afflicted, I should unhesitatingly persuade my beautiful and refined sword to introduce you to the spirits of your ignoble ancestors. As it is, I will merely cut off your nose and your left ear, so that people may not say that the Dragon of the Earth sleeps and wickedness goes unpunished.’

      “Both had already drawn their swords, and very soon the blows were so hard and swift that, in the dusk of the evening, it seemed as though the air were filled with innumerable and many-coloured fireworks. Each was a practised swordsman, and there was no advantage gained on either side, when Ning, who had fled on the appearance of Li Ting, reappeared, urging on her father, whose usually leisurely footsteps were quickened by the dread that the duel must surely result in certain loss to himself, either of a valuable servant, or of the discovery which Ning had briefly explained to him, and of which he at once saw the value.

      “‘Oh, most distinguished and expert persons,’ he exclaimed breathlessly, as soon as he was within hearing distance, ‘do not trouble to give so marvellous an exhibition for the benefit of this unworthy individual, who is the only observer of your illustrious dexterity! Indeed, your honourable condescension so fills this illiterate person with shame that his hearing is thereby preternaturally sharpened, and he can plainly distinguish many voices from beyond the Hoang Ho, crying for the Heaven-sent representative of the degraded Ti Hung to bring them more idols. Bend, therefore, your refined footsteps in the direction of Poo Chow, O Li Ting, and leave me to make myself objectionable to this exceptional young man with my intolerable commonplaces.’

      “‘The shadow falls in such a direction as the sun wills,’ said Li Ting, as he replaced his sword and departed.

      “‘Yung Chang,’ said the merchant, ‘I am informed that you have made a discovery that would be of great value to me, as it undoubtedly would if it is all that you say. Let us discuss the matter without ceremony. Can you prove to me that your system possesses the merit you claim for it? If so, then the matter of arrangement will be easy.’

      “‘I am convinced of the absolute certainty and accuracy of the discovery,’ replied Yung Chang. ‘It is not as though it were an ordinary matter of human intelligence, for this was discovered to me as I was worshipping at the tomb of my ancestors. The method is regulated by a system of squares, triangles, and cubes. But as the practical proof might be long, and as I hesitate to keep your adorable daughter out in the damp night air, may I not call at your inimitable