Comedy of Marriage and Other Tales. Guy de Maupassant

once for all, that I am not made for the rôle of a substitute.

      M. DE SALLUS [approaches her, takes her hand and presses a long kiss upon it]

      Madeline, I swear to you that I love you, in truth, devotedly, now and forever.

      MME. DE SALLUS [ironically]

      You must really believe it! [Suddenly.] But who is the woman that attracts—and repels you—just now?

      M. DE SALLUS

      Madeline, I swear—

      MME. DE SALLUS

      Oh, a truce to your swearing! I know that you have just broken with one of your mistresses; you need another and you cannot find one, so you come to me. For nearly three years you have forgotten all about me, so that now you find I am somewhat of a novelty. It is not your wife you are seeking now, but a woman with whom you have formerly had a rupture, and with whom you now desire to make up. To speak the truth you are simply playing the game of a libertine.

      M. DE SALLUS

      I do not ask you whether you be my wife or not my wife. You are the woman I love, the woman who possesses my heart. You are the woman of whom I dream, whose image follows me everywhere, whom I continually desire. It happens that you are my wife. So much the worse, or so much the better. What matters it?

      MME. DE SALLUS

      Truly, it is a distinguished part that you offer me. After Mademoiselle Zozo, after Mademoiselle Lilie, Mademoiselle Tata, you have the audacity to offer to your wife—to Madame de Sallus—the place left vacant, asking her to become her husband's mistress for a short space of time.

      M. DE SALLUS

      No; now, and—forever.

      MME. DE SALLUS

      Pardon me. You ask that I should re-become your wife forever? That is out of the question; I have already ceased to entertain the idea. The reason may be obscure, but nevertheless it is real; and after all, the idea of making me your legitimate mistress seems to be far more entertaining to you than assuming the rôle of a faithful husband.

      M. DE SALLUS [laughs]

      Well, why should not the wife become the husband's mistress? You are right in what you say; you are absolutely free and I own my faults. Yet, I am in love with you-for the second time, if you will-and I say to you, here and now, Madeline, since you confess that your heart is empty, have pity upon me, for I tell you that I love you.

      MME. DE SALLUS

      And you ask me to give you a husband's right?

      M. DE SALLUS

      I do.

      MME. DE SALLUS

      And you acknowledge that I am free, absolutely free?

      M. DE SALLUS

      I do.

      MME. DE SALLUS

      And you really wish me to become your mistress?

      M. DE SALLUS

      I do.

      MME. DE SALLUS

      You understand what I mean—your mistress?

      M. DE SALLUS

      Yes.

      MME. DE SALLUS [sarcastically]

      Well, well! I think I would rather accept another offer that I have, but since you are good enough to ask me to give you the preference, I may give it to you—for a fair sum.

      M. DE SALLUS

      What do you mean?

      MME. DE SALLUS

      Just what I say. Listen! Do you consider me as attractive as any of your mistresses? Now, be frank with me.

      M. DE SALLUS

      A thousand times more!

      MME. DE SALLUS

      Really!

      M. DE SALLUS

      I swear it!

      MME. DE SALLUS

      What, better than the best?

      M. DE SALLUS

      A thousand times!

      MME. DE SALLUS

      Well, tell me, now, truly, how much has the one you liked best among all your numerous mistresses cost you, let us say—in three months?

      M. DE SALLUS

      I cannot tell.

      MME. DE SALLUS

      Listen to me. I repeat the question. How much has the most charming of your numerous mistresses cost you in the space of three months—not only in money, but in gifts of jewelry, in dainty little suppers, in ceremonious dinners, in theater boxes—in everything?

      M. DE SALLUS

      How can I tell?

      MME. DE SALLUS

      You should be able to. Come, let us make an estimate. Did you give her a round sum, or did you pay for everything separately? However, I know you are not a man to bother over details, so I conclude that you gave her a round sum.

      M. DE SALLUS

      Madeline, you are absolutely unbearable.

      MME. DE SALLUS

      Follow me closely. When you began to neglect me, you took away three horses from our stables—one of them was mine and the other two were yours. Then you took away a coachman and a footman; you then found it necessary to make me economize at home in order that you might be extravagant abroad.

      M. DE SALLUS

      That is not true.

      MME. DE SALLUS

      Oh! yes, it is. I have every date; do not deny it, for I shall confound you if you do. You also stopped giving me jewels, for, of course, you had other ears, other fingers, other wrists, and other necks to adorn. You also deprived me of one of my nights at the Opéra, and I do not know how many other things less important. And all this, according to my idea, should mean about five thousand francs a month. Am I not right?

      M. DE SALLUS

      You may be, but you are mad.

      MME. DE SALLUS

      No, no, confess; did the most expensive one of your mistresses cost you about five thousand francs a month?

      M. DE SALLUS

      You are crazy.

      MME. DE SALLUS

      If you are going to answer me thus, I bid you good evening. [She rises as if to retire, but M. de Sallus interposes.]

      M. DE SALLUS

      Come now, Madeline, a truce to this jesting.

      MME. DE SALLUS [in a determined manner]

      Five thousand francs? Tell me, did she cost you five thousand francs?

      M. DE SALLUS [shrugs his shoulders]

      Oh, yes, thereabouts.

      MME. DE SALLUS [looks him straight in the face]

      Ah, ah! Well, listen. If you will give me immediately five thousand francs, you may be my husband for a month—but only a month.

      M. DE SALLUS

      You