Brains Confounded by the Ode of Abū Shādūf Expounded, with Risible Rhymes. Yūsuf al-Shirbīnī

       “O Scholars of Verse”

       “Avoid a friend who is like mā”

       “Hie thee to men in positions of eminence”

       “What is the name of a thing?”

       “My father I would give for the suns that turn away at sunset”

       “Were it not for difficulties, all men would be lords”

       “O dwelling of ʿĀtikah from which I depart”

       “She sent you ambergris”

       “An apple wounded by her front teeth”

       “If, in all your days, one friend you find”

       “I have not forgotten the time he visited me after his turning aside”

       “O you, ʿAlī, who have risen to the summit of virtue”

       A Wrangle over a Line by al-Mutanabbī

       The Author Mentions the Date of Composition of the Work and Apologizes for Its Brevity

       Notes

       Glossary

       Bibliography

       Index

       About the NYU Abu Dhabi Institute

       About the Translator

       The Library of Arabic Literature

      BRAINS CONFOUNDED

      BY THE ODE OF ABŪ SHĀDŪF

      EXPOUNDED

       Part Two

      IN THE NAME OF GOD, THE MERCIFUL, THE COMPASSIONATE

      9.1

      Praise be to God, Lord of the Worlds, and blessings and peace upon our master Muḥammad, noblest of prophets, and upon his family and companions, one and all! To proceed. The humble slave of the Almighty, Yūsuf ibn Muḥammad ibn ʿAbd al-Jawād ibn Khiḍr al-Shirbīnī declares (and may God be for him and have mercy on his forebears): after frigid determination and sluggish lucubration had bestirred themselves for a few days and been constrained to produce a book that’s now on paper contained, on the conditions of the people of the countryside as it may be, and on their love and longing and their prose and poetry, which work became a Part in coarseness without peer, to which no man of virtue and discerning scholarship would ever give ear, which was to serve as an introduction to the coming Ode, which motifs like the prickly ends of palm fronds included and with an urjūzah—a summary of all that’s in it of poetry and prose—concluded and which, to cut the story short, was a dollop of my inspired thought, I determined to add thereto this second part and unravel the meanings of the Ode, which are the point from which its formal constructions depart; so I set my lethargic brain to work, allowing my pen on the elucidation of the matters therein to go berserk and to unravel the motifs that the Ode contains, descending upon it like a downpour on Upper Egypt when it rains, with expressions whose sense wafts about like a fart, and motifs thrown together without method or art. And indeed, my brain assisted me in that for which I strove and bestirred itself with me to attain the goal at which I drove; and now’s the moment to set out in pursuit of that thing, with the help of God, the Worshipped King. I therefore declare:

      AN ACCOUNT OF THE LINEAGE OF THE POET AND ITS COMPONENTS, AND OF THE PLACE THAT TOOK HIM TO ITS BOSOM AND GAVE HIM SHELTER FROM HIS EARLIEST MOMENTS, AND OF THE ORIGINS OF HIS FORTUNE AND HOW IT WAS BROUGHT, AND OF THE NATURE OF HIS BEARD, WHETHER IT WAS LONG OR SHORT, AND OF HOW, AT THE END, BY FATE HE WAS O’ERTHROWN, AS A RESULT OF WHICH HE COMPOSED THIS ODE FOR WHICH HE BECAME FAMOUS AND WELL KNOWN

HIS LINEAGE

      10.1

      We declare: opinions differ concerning his lineage. Some state that he was Abū Shādūf son of Abū Jārūf son of Shaqādif son of Laqāliq (Storks) son of Baḥlaq (Goggle-Eye) son of ʿAflaq (Big Flabby Vagina) son of ʿAfr (Dust) son of Duʿmūm son of Falḥas¹ son of Kharā Ilḥas (Lick-Shit). If you ingest these words with your rational faculty, you will realize that this is the end of his ancestry. Others, however, say he was Abū Shādūf son of Abū Jārūf son of Bardaʿ (Donkey Saddle) son of Zawbaʿ (Dust Storm) son of Baḥlaq son of ʿAflaq son of Bahdal (Disheveled) son of ʿAwkal son of ʿAmrah² son of Kul Kharā (Eat-Shit). Thus, according to the first version, his genealogy ends with “son of Lick-Shit” and according to the second with “son of Eat-Shit”; however, the second is more correct because to eat shit is more eloquent than to lick it.

HIS VILLAGE

      10.2

      As for his village, it is a matter of dispute. Some say that he was from Tall Fandarūk and others from Kafr Shammirṭāṭī,³ the latter being correct, for the poet himself says so in some verses of his, to wit:

      10.2.1

      Me, good people, my words are a guide

      And my verses speak true, no tomfooleries hide.

      Abū Shādūf am I. My dad told me the tale,

      And likewise my grandma, old Umm Nāyil,

      Of how, good folk, I was raised

      In a hamlet known since olden days

      Called Kafr Shammir-lī wa-Tāṭī⁴—

      So, Fasāqil,⁵ be a wise laddie!

      These are my verses, Abū Shādūf’s my name,

      And any who comes to inquire my verse can claim.

      10.2.2

      And I heard verses by a country person that indicate that he was from Tall Fandarūk, as follows:

      We have heard in days old and new

      Speech strong as iron and as true—

      Of Abū Shādūf they did us tell,

      In words very trusty and confirmed as well,

      That Tall Fandarūk was his childhood abode,

      And there he lived, good people, and composed an ode.

      These are my verses, Ghindāf’s my name,

      And verse far-fetched is the name of my game!

      The two versions may be reconciled by saying that he was born in Kafr Shammirṭāṭī and raised in Tall Fandarūk.

THE SHAPE OF HIS BEARD

      10.3

      As for the shape of his beard, some say it was very long, while others say it was moderate in both length and shortness.