Brains Confounded by the Ode of Abū Shādūf Expounded, with Risible Rhymes. Yūsuf al-Shirbīnī

Shādūf …

       Me, the lice and nits …

       And none has harmed me …

       And more inauspicious than him …

       And from the descent of the Inspectors …

       And on the day when the tax collectors come …

       And I flee next to the women …

       Almost all my life on the tax …

       And on the day when the corvée descends …

       And nothing has demolished me …

       And nothing has made me yearn …

       Happy is he who sees bīsār come to him …

       Happy is he who sees a bowl …

       Happy is he to whom comes a basin …

       Happy is he who gobbles energetically …

       Happy is he who drinks a crock …

       Happy is he to whom mussels come …

       If I see next to me one day a casserole …

       When shall I see mallow …

       When shall I see grilled beans …

       When shall I see that he’s ground the flour …

       Ah how good is vetch-and-lentils …

       Ah how fine is toasted bread …

       And I’ll sit with one knee crooked …

       Happy is he who finds himself next to rice pudding …

       Happy is he who fills his cap with a moist little cheese …

       Happy is he who sees his mother’s bowl full …

       And I’ll sit down to it with ardor …

       Now I wonder, how is milk …

       Now I wonder, how is flaky-pastry …

       Should I see the bowl of the son of my uncle …

       Me, my wish is for a meal of fisīkh …

       Happy is he who has seen in the oven …

       And made faṭāyir cakes …

       Happy is he who sees a casserole …

       Happy is he who sees in the refuse dump …

       If I live I shall go to the city …

       And I’ll steal from the mosque …

       And I’ll get me a felt cap …

       And by me will sit …

       And I’ll rejoice in the throng …

       And I close my ode with blessings …

       Some Miscellaneous Anecdotes with Which We Conclude the Book

       Let Us Conclude This Book with Verses from the Sea of Inanities

       Notes

       Glossary

       Bibliography

       Further Reading

       RISIBLE RHYMES, OR, THE BOOK TO BRING A SMILE TO THE LIPS OF DEVOTEES OF PROPER TASTE AND STYLE THROUGH THE DECODING OF A SAMPLING OF THE VERSE OF THE RURAL RANK AND FILE

       Introduction

       Note on the Text

       Notes to the Introduction

       RISIBLE RHYMES

       Preamble

       The Author Declares His Intention to Decode a Sampling of Rural Verse and to Follow This with a Sampling of Hints, Wrangles, and Riddles

       A Certain Friend Arrives with His Party in Rashīd, and They Encounter a Local Poet

       A Sampling of the Verse of the Rural Rank and File

       “By God, by God, the Moighty, the Omnipotent”

       “You sleep while my eye by distance and insomnia’s distressed”

       “The soot of my paternal cousin’s oven is as black as your kohl marks”

       “And I said to her, ‘O daughter of noble men, go into the garden!’”

       “I asked after the beloved. They said, ‘He skedaddled from the shack!’”

       “I asked God to join me together with Salmā”

       “And I said to her, ‘Piss on me and spray!’”

       “The rattle staff of our mill makes a sound like your anklets”

       “I saw my beloved with a plaited whip driving oxen”

       “I ran into her and said, ‘My Lady, come tomorrow’”