Stand Tall Leadership. Steven A. Bollar

1.2. Hide and Seek

      Tall people can't play hide and seek very well. There is just something about that game that doesn't work for us. Unless there is a tree or column around, we just can't seem to find a hiding spot. The only good thing about the game, depending on how you play it, is once found, we can usually outrun, reach, or tag the person who found them in order to not be “it.” But to be honest, I rather be “it” anyway. If I'm “it,” I don't have to worry about finding a place to hide. It is just too much pressure. Many times, when I would play hide and seek, I would purposely get found. “Oh darn, you found me… what a shame… I guess I'm it now…”

      Tall people are always seen. They don't blend in with those around them. As much as I think that I don't stand out, I do. I am always on. Sure, I can walk around as if nobody can see me, but I know differently. The first thing they think when they see me is, “Wow, he is tall. I wonder if he plays basketball?” There are many times I don't want to be in the spotlight. I do want to play hide and don't seek. That time to hide and don't seek is valuable to me. It is time that I use to think, be alone, and make plans for what I want to do. Many shorter people take that opportunity for granted. It is common to blend in with the crowd and not stand out. Many people go out of their way to be noticed. But when your entire life revolves around people noticing you, blending in becomes something that you long for.

      Many educational leaders have an open-door policy. Just to be clear, an open-door policy is the act of a leader literally or figuratively having your door open so that those under you can come in when they need to meet informally, share ideas, or discuss issues at any time. I remember interviewing for different administrative positions in the past, stating that I pride myself on having an open-door policy. Having an open-door policy is good in theory, but it lends itself to preventing you from getting any work done. Basically, you are a tall person on display all the time.

      The thought of having an open-door policy is nice. You can imagine your staff coming into your office with a frown and after they talk with you, they leave with a smile. All of your staff loves you and you are the solver of many of their issues and problems. That may sound nice, but it just isn't reality. In truth, the staff come in at the moment you are trying to finish writing a difficult evaluation. They pop in when you are gathering your notes from a complicated parent meeting. They show up when you have to finalize your budget for the year before 3:00 p.m. and it's already 2:15 p.m. Each time someone comes into your “open door,” you smile and offer an ear and your advice. How in the world can you get anything done? As a building principal, there were times I thought that if I heard, “You got a minute?” or “Are you busy?” one more time, I might just slap someone.

      That does it! I'm shutting my door, and nobody can bother me. Slam!! After about 10 minutes of work… “knock, knock, knock.” Who could that be? Can't they see my door is closed? You check to see, and it is Guilt standing there to reach out and give you a big bear hug.

The feeling of not being there for everyone can gnaw at you. Even though you are working alone in your office, you are hypersensitive to every sound, bump, or ring of the phone that is going on outside of your door. You feel guilty for not being there for everyone and for going back on your open-door policy statement.

      What is administrator guilt? An administrator's feeling of missing out on actions and work that is taking place in the building or district and having remorse for focusing on one's self-growth or family, or for not handling situations within the school.

      Examples of administrator guilt:

       Working on an evaluation and listening to a teacher scolding a student in the hallway

       Being a “manager” (of student and adult behaviors) and not an instructional leader

       Not attending every single event (concert, exhibit, sports, coffeehouse, etc.)

       Taking a sick day

       Taking a personal day

       Making the conscious choice to leave before your work for the day is done in order to be present for your family

       Being too exhausted from work to enjoy your own kiddos

       Having to ask staff to help cover for their peers who are absent

       Having to go to administration meetings instead of being on campus

       Being in data meetings instead of taking the data and going back to the classroom to help fix the data

       Not being able to give enough time to each teacher to provide adequate support

       Not dealing with a discipline issue in favor of an instructional leadership situation

       Missing amazing things going on in classrooms because I get stuck dealing with adults

       Not knowing all 582 student names on the spot and the names of their parents

       Taking a mental health day and not answering emails

       Not being everything to everyone

As a Stand Tall Leader, getting out of the spotlight is important. Similar to a tall person, as a leader you are always “ON.” Even when you don't think you are, guess what? You are! Your staff, students, and community are watching everything you do. When you walk down the hallway, they are wondering where you are going. If you wear a new shirt, they are wondering where you got it and what it means. As a leader, you must be very aware that others are always expecting something from you. Therefore, you need the opportunity and time to get out of the spotlight and not be found. Work needs to get done. You are not wrong, and you should not feel guilty for closing your door.

1.3. Step It Up

      When you take time to get out of the spotlight and close your door, the world will not come to an end. True, things may not go exactly the way you want it to, but you can be assured that it won't blow up and crumble to the ground. The goal is to train up those around you to be able to handle issues and concerns. When you are not there for every little thing, the staff builds problem-solving skills. What better way for your staff to become better at solving issues than to have issues to solve? They need to step up. It may take some time to get them to where you want them to be. You may need to go through the process of the levels of Stand Tall Decision Making (see page 92). By having those around you step up their game for decision making, you can be less guilty for shutting your door and taking time do what you need to do so that you are a better leader.

       What better way for your staff to become better at solving issues than to have issues to solve?

       #standtallstatement

1.4. Timing

When choosing to get out of the spotlight and get work done, it doesn't have to be sporadic. As a building principal, my assistant superintendent visited me to check in every month. One time when she was visiting, I was interrupted about four times in a row. She asked me if the interruptions were a problem. Trying to act like I could handle everything, I responded that it wasn't a problem and it was rare to have four interruptions in a row. Actually, it is usually about six to seven interruptions in a row. She suggested that I put time in my calendar to close the door and have uninterrupted time. I could read an article, reflect on my leadership, or plan the upcoming week. It doesn't matter what you do, you just need to schedule it or it won't happen. Schedule when your door is open and when it isn't. Live by your calendar and be committed to that time. Let your secretary know that time is sacred. Don't let other things get in the way of your time. Having my direct supervisor give me permission to take that time was huge. It allowed me to give guilt a big slap. So, if you need permission to take some personal time, I'm giving it to you now.

      I know, I know, I know… at first you will do it for a week or two,