Stand Tall Leadership. Steven A. Bollar

a more realistic understanding of how things could be instead of how things should be.

       #standtallstatement

2.2. Integrity

      What is integrity? Personally, I think integrity is a set of beliefs, values, and actions that others can depend on. Everyone has integrity. Some people have high integrity and some people have low integrity. Either way, it is there. Those beliefs, values, and actions may have high moral standards, or they may be extremely low moral standards. Regardless of where the moral compass points, others know where you stand because you are consistent with your beliefs, values, and actions. Of course, everyone wants to have high integrity. The challenge comes when conflict arises. Conflict can bring out the best and the worst in people. In most cases, people are very reactionary when faced with a conflict. The true YOU comes out for everyone to see. In order for the true YOU to maintain a high level of integrity during conflict, you need to practice in times when there is no conflict.

      You don't establish integrity immediately. Integrity is developed over time. Others need to experience your beliefs, values, and actions. They have to hear you say it, watch you do it, and watch you say and do it again. There needs to be a pattern of continual behavior that is consistent with what you say and believe. There are times that others have experienced your level of integrity and can vouch for you. That only goes so far. New people in your life need to experience your integrity firsthand.

      For an example: Do you know someone who is always late? It doesn't matter what the situation is, you know this person is going to come in late. It is a belief, value, and action that you can depend on. Do you know someone who is always on time? It doesn't matter what the situation is, you know this person is going to be on time or early. Again, it is a belief, value, and action that you can depend on.

      The important part is not only to establish your level of integrity but also to maintain that level of integrity.

      2.2.1. How to Maintain a High Level of Integrity

       2.2.1.1. Keep Your Promises

      People remember promises. Promises have a heavier weight than other statements. A promise states; no matter what I will follow through with what I said. Promises are usually reserved for your big issues, projects, and events. When a promise is broken everyone takes notice. Yes, you can apologize, and they may accept the apology, but your actions are logged into the memory of others. At times, emergencies come up that prevent you from fulfilling your promise. You must do whatever you can to make up for the missed promise. Just letting it go isn't enough. When others see over time that you are keeping you promises, doesn't that help maintain a higher level of integrity?

       2.2.1.2. Err on the Side of Fairness

      When it is time to make a decision, always choose what is most fair to all involved. People are naturally selfish. We tend to look out for self. If you are the one making the decision, make sure the outcome is as fair as possible to everyone involved. Think back to times when you were not treated fairly by someone you knew. What did you think of his/her integrity? Even if that person continued to be fair after the one incident. Your view of that person's integrity was forever changed.

      Fairness goes both ways. Are you the type of person who tends to take too much on their plate in order to always provide support? How is that fair to you. Over time, others will realize that they can “get over” on you and take advantage of your generosity. Remember, integrity is a set of beliefs, values, and actions that others can depend on. If others can depend on you always taking everything off of their plate and putting onto your plate, is that fair? There is nothing wrong with getting what's coming to you. Over time, people will know that what you are willing to do for them is fair because both of you are held equally responsible.

       2.2.1.3. Speak Out for What You Believe In

      If something is important to you, say so. Nobody respects a person who folds with the common perspective all the time. Your voice is important. If you agree with something, speak up and say why. If you disagree with something, speak up and say why. Either way your voice is heard, and others will respect you for that. Remember, as a Stand Tall Leader you don't blend in; everyone sees you anyway. They are waiting to hear what you have to say. If you say nothing, that says something too. As you know, there is a right way to speak out and a wrong way to speak out. Understand your environment, culture and climate and speak out appropriately to get your point across and be heard. The focus is that others will realize that you are genuine, passionate, and willing to look at all perspectives. Even if the perspective goes against the grain.

       2.2.1.4. Do What You Say You Are Going to Do

      This is very close to keeping your promises. This point focuses more on your daily actions and goals. If you say you are going to arrive to a meeting on time, do it! If you say you are going to finish the report, do it! If you say you are going to reflect on your day, do it! What you do throughout your day consists of many little decisions. As a Stand Tall Leader, others are watching what you do and what you don't do. They can see if you are one to keep your word with others and yourself. If you say it out loud or in your head, follow through and make it so. I would argue that doing what you say you are going to do is the most important part of developing and maintaining a high level of integrity. Not doing what you say you are going to do damages your integrity on a daily basis. Doing what you say you are going to do reinforces your integrity on a daily basis.

      When I was a child, my family did not live near a shopping mall. Therefore, it was a big deal to have the time to go. My brother and I begged my father to go. Eventually, he said yes. He stated that he promise to take us in two weeks. During the two-week time, my brother and I saved our money from our paper route. Finally, the day came. We piled into the minivan and my father started the drive to the shopping mall. About five miles outside of town, my father started to scream in pain. He was holding his abdomen and pulled the car over. What was going on? This was before cell phones, and neither my brother nor I could drive. Eventually, my father was able to turn the minivan around and drive home. Once home, my mother took my father to the hospital. It turns out, he had several gallstones that had to be removed.

      About two months later, my father came to my brother and I and said, “Let's go. I'll take you to the mall.” We both explained that it was okay, and we didn't have to go. Not to mention, we had no money. My father stated that he made a promise and he was going to keep it. He reached into his pocket, gave us money, and took us to the mall.

      Integrity is so much more than keeping a promise or two. It shows the world who you are. It identifies your character and level of respect for others and yourself.

       Living with integrity means:

       Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships

       Asking for what you want and need from others

       Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension

       Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values

       Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe

       – Barbara DeAngelis1

       Integrity is a set of beliefs, values, and actions that others can depend on.

       #standtallstatement

      2.2.2. The Value of Integrity

      Integrity is the cornerstone