Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 12. Derek Landy

he said – almost cheered in fact. “Now do you remember?”

      She looked at him and thought how amazing it was that he, like most of the people here, was the direct descendant of a race of super-magical Ancients, and yet it looked like he would have difficulty crossing the street without assistance.

      “I have to go,” she said, motioning over his left shoulder. He turned to look and she moved off to his right.

      Valkyrie checked the time on her phone and found herself hoping that she’d get attacked by a pack of vampires sooner rather than later. This was a cruel and unusual ordeal she was going through, and if this turned out to be her last night alive, well then that just wasn’t fair. She nodded to people she vaguely recognised, but walked right by before they had a chance to tell her how small she once was.

      And then the Toxic Twins were blocking her way. Crystal’s bottle-blonde hair was so straight it looked like it’d been ironed, and Carol’s hair was hanging in ringlets that looked like a pack of worms trying to squirm to freedom.

      “Thought you’d be here,” Crystal said with much disgust.

      “The family part of family reunion gave it away, huh?”

      “Glad to see you didn’t spend too long getting dressed up,” Carol said and they both sniggered.

      “Why are you even here?” Crystal asked. “It’s not like we have any other rich uncles for you to suck up to before they kick the bucket.”

      “Oh, good, it’s nice to know that you’re finally over that.”

      The twins stepped in close and tried their best to loom over her. Not an easy task when they were both four centimetres shorter.

      “You cheated us out of our rightful inheritance,” Carol said, her lips curling unattractively. “That house Gordon left you should have been ours. Your parents had already been left the villa in France so we should have got the house.”

      “That would have been fair,” Crystal snarled. “But he left it to you. You got everything. Do you expect us to just forget that?”

      “Look at you,” Carol said, flicking Valkyrie’s shoulder with a finger. “You’re a child, for God’s sake. What do you need a house for? We’re sixteen; do you know what we could do if we had that house? The parties we would have? Do you know how cool we’d be?”

      “Do you even know how much that place is worth? We’d sell it and we’d be rich!”

      “But we didn’t get it, did we? You got it because you sucked up and you pretended to be the perfect little niece, and now you think you’re so great.”

      “You’re not great, you stupid little kid. You don’t know anything, no one likes you, and look at you, you’re not even that pretty!”

      Valkyrie looked at them both. “You know,” she said, “I’m trying to remember if there was ever a time when the rotten things you said actually affected me. I’m trying to remember if your amateur bullying ever actually worked, and you know what? I don’t think it did.”

      Carol tried to laugh scornfully.

      “Do you know why? Because I really and truly do not care. I don’t have any feelings towards you at all, good or bad. To me, you’re simply … not there. You know?”

      They glared at her and Valkyrie smiled graciously. “Have a great night, OK?” And she left them there.

      She moved through the crowd as best she could, squeezing between tables and avoiding throngs wherever possible. She saw her mother and managed to get to her without someone trying to hug her.

      “Steph,” her mother said, smiling brightly. “You’re here! Finally! How was last night?”

      “It was good,” Valkyrie lied. “Me and Hannah, you know, just stayed up chatting. Gossiping about, like, boys, and stuff.” She faltered, suddenly realising she had no idea what girls her age talked about.

      “And you wore the dress,” her mother said. “It looks lovely.”

      “Lovely won’t do me much good if there’s a riot.”

      Her mother looked at her. “You are so odd sometimes. So when did you get here?”

      “A few minutes ago. Where’s Dad?”

      “Oh, he’s around here somewhere. You know what Edgleys are like. Any excuse to talk about themselves and they grab it with both hands. Having fun?”

      Valkyrie shrugged. “Ah, it’s OK. Don’t know many people. What about you? Are you having a good time?”

      Her mother laughed and leaned in close. “Get me out of here,” she said with a brilliant smile.

      Valkyrie blinked. “I’m sorry?”

      Her mother nodded like she was agreeing enthusiastically. “I can’t stay here one minute longer. I’m going to explode.”

      “You want to leave?”

      Her mother waved to someone and looked at Valkyrie and kept the brilliant smile. “More then anything in the world. You see that lady over there?”

      “The one with the strange-shaped head?”

      “She’ll talk about her dogs. All night. She has three. They’re all small. What is it with small dogs? What’s wrong with big dogs? I like big dogs.”

      “Are we getting a dog?”

      “What? No. My point is, we should make up an excuse and leave early.”

      With Dusk and his Infected minions out there? Not bloody likely.

      “We’re here for Dad,” Valkyrie said. “We’ve got to stay here and support him. He’d stay for your family reunion.”

      “I suppose …”

      “It’s only one night, Mum. After tonight you’ll never have to see them again.”

      “I thought you’d be the first one bolting for the door.”

      Valkyrie shrugged. “I don’t know. Sometimes I think I don’t spend enough time with you guys.”

      Her mother looked at her and her tone softened. “You’re just growing up. I mean, yes, it would be fantastic if we could spend time together like we used to, but you need your space and your privacy. I understand that, love. Really.”

      “Do you miss the way it used to be?”

      “I’d be lying if I said no. But I’ll take what I can get. You spend a lot of time in your room and that’s, you know, that’s fine. You’re distant sometimes, but that’s fine too.”

      Valkyrie couldn’t meet her eyes. “I don’t mean to be distant,” she said.

      Her mother wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “I know you don’t. And you’re not always distant. At times like these, it’s like nothing has changed. You’re the same old Steph.”

      “But other times … I’m not, right?”

      “Maybe, but I still love you no matter what. And your dad and me, we’re just thankful that you’re keeping safe. Other kids your age, they’re out there getting into trouble, getting hurt, doing God knows what. At least we know where you are.”

      “In my room,” Valkyrie said, trying a smile. She thought of the reflection, sitting on the sofa while her dad told a bad joke, or standing in the kitchen while her mother told it about her day. It made her feel rotten inside, all twisty, so she stopped.

      After all, she had other things to be worrying about tonight.