Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 12. Derek Landy

floodgates opened, and Stephanie doubled over with laughter that echoed throughout the warehouse. Tanith pointed at Stephanie and backed away. “Skulduggery, she’s not being professional!”

      Stephanie’s laugh proved infectious and Tanith was soon on her knees. Skulduggery and Ghastly just looked at them.

      “What’s going on?” Ghastly asked.

      “I’m not entirely sure,” Skulduggery answered.

      They looked at Stephanie and Tanith and shook their heads. “Women,” they said together.

      Stephanie wiped the tears from her eyes and looked around at Skulduggery, and then something fell from the ceiling, and landed behind the detective without a sound. Her laughter vanished as she stood. “Behind you!” she yelled.

      Skulduggery wheeled, gun in hand, and everyone froze. They looked at the man. His uniform, though identical in design to the Cleavers, was of startling white.

      “Stand down,” Ghastly said as Stephanie and Tanith ran up to join them. “We are working with the Elder Council. Stand down.”

      The White Cleaver didn’t move.

      “What do you want?” Skulduggery asked.

      A moment dragged itself by, and then the White Cleaver raised his arm and pointed straight at Stephanie.

      “That’s all we need to know,” Skulduggery said and fired, four shots to the chest and two to the head. The White Cleaver jerked with each impact, but it was clear that the bullets didn’t penetrate his coat, and the two to the head ricocheted off the helmet, leaving dark scratches against the white.

      “Damn,” Skulduggery muttered.

      Stephanie stayed back as Skulduggery, Tanith and Ghastly closed in on their new adversary. The helmet denied them any chance of knowing where he was looking, but Stephanie knew he was looking right into her eyes.

      Tanith attacked first, feinting with a low kick then snapping it up high. The Cleaver didn’t fall for the ruse and slapped the high kick away as Ghastly attacked from behind. The Cleaver spun with a kick of his own that caught Tanith in the gut, and he ducked under the punch that Ghastly sent his way. Ghastly’s fists blurred but the Cleaver absorbed the blows and his hand shot out, catching Ghastly in the side of the neck. Ghastly staggered and Skulduggery thrust out his palm and the air rippled.

      But instead of being pushed backwards, the Cleaver moved through the ripples without being affected. The uniform, Stephanie thought. Unfazed, Skulduggery threw a punch that the Cleaver caught.

      Skulduggery was flipped over but when he landed he had reversed the grip. His foot sneaked out, striking the Cleaver’s knee and now Skulduggery was the one doing the twisting, and the Cleaver was the one who flipped.

      While he was in mid-flip, however, the Cleaver got his free hand to the ground to cartwheel back to his feet. A pause followed and Stephanie’s three friends reappraised their opponent.

      Tanith took her sword from beneath her coat and slid it from its scabbard. Ghastly let his jacket slip off and Skulduggery put away his pistol, freeing his hands.

      “You don’t have to do this,” he said to the Cleaver. “Tell us where Serpine is –tell us what his plans are. We can help you. You are not going to lay one finger on Valkyrie Cain, but we will help you.”

      The Cleaver’s answer was to reach behind him and draw his scythe. Skulduggery grunted in dissatisfaction.

      The Cleaver darted towards them before anyone could react, using the scythe like a pole-vaulter to swing himself up, kicking both Skulduggery and Ghastly in the chest at the same time.

      They went stumbling back and Tanith came in, sword flashing. The Cleaver dodged back, whirling his scythe to parry the blade.

      Sparks flew as the metals clashed, sword against scythe, and such was the ferocity of Tanith’s assault that the Cleaver didn’t notice Ghastly until it was too late. Ghastly’s strong arms wrapped around him, pinning his arms to his sides, making him drop the scythe.

      Tanith moved in for the kill and the Cleaver’s leg blurred in a crescent, his bootheel slamming into her wrist as she neared. She hissed in pain and dropped the sword, clutching her wrist.

      The Cleaver rammed his heel into Ghastly’s shin and whacked the back of his helmet against his nose. He then kicked both legs into the air and over his head, slipping out from under Ghastly’s arms. His hands went to the ground and he continued the movement, sending both boots into Ghastly’s face.

      Ghastly fell back and the Cleaver held the handstand for a moment, then dropped back to his feet as Skulduggery came at him.

      Skulduggery summoned fire and hurled two handfuls into the Cleaver. The flames didn’t catch but they did throw him back, and Skulduggery threw a lightning-fast jab that he followed up with a right hook. He didn’t seem to mind that he was hitting a helmet, and Stephanie noted with satisfaction the way their opponent was sent stumbling.

      The Cleaver recovered quickly, however, and they started trading punches and kicks, elbows and knees, and she watched them block and lock and counter-lock, all the while moving around each other in an elaborate and brutal dance.

      “Stephanie!” Skulduggery called out as he fought. “Get out of here!”

      “I’m not leaving you!”

      “You have to! I don’t know how to stop him!”

      Tanith snatched her sword off the ground and grabbed Stephanie’s arm. “We have to go,” she said firmly and Stephanie nodded.

      They ran back the way they had come. As they were passing into the office, Stephanie glanced back, saw the Cleaver spin with a kick that sent Skulduggery to the floor. In one fluid movement, he got a toe under the staff of the scythe, flicked it up and caught it, and then he was running after her.

      Stephanie burst into the dark alleyway and Tanith pressed her hand against the door as she closed it – Stephanie heard her mutter “Withstand” – and a polished sheen spread across its surface.

      “That’ll hold him for a minute,” she said.

      They ran for the Bentley. The Cleaver pounded on the door behind them, but it wouldn’t open and it wouldn’t break. The pounding stopped.

      They reached the Bentley and Tanith looked at Stephanie. “Do you have the key?”

      A window exploded, high up near the warehouse’s roof, and the White Cleaver dropped and landed in a crouch in the middle of the alley, shards of glass raining down with him. He straightened up, unfolded his arms and raised his head.

      Tanith stood between the Cleaver and Stephanie, holding the sword in her left hand. She cradled her injured right arm by her side. The Cleaver twirled his scythe slowly.

      Skulduggery and Ghastly leaped through the broken window. The Cleaver turned and Ghastly crashed into him.

      “Start the car!” Ghastly yelled.

      Skulduggery pressed the keyring and the locks sprang open with a beep, and they all jumped in. The engine roared to life.

      “Ghastly!” Skulduggery shouted. “Let’s go!”

      Ghastly slammed a punch into the Cleaver and rolled to his feet but the Cleaver kicked out and Ghastly stumbled. The scythe flashed, the staff whacking against Ghastly’s jaw. He dropped to his knees.

      “Ghastly!” Stephanie screamed. Skulduggery opened his door, went to get out, but Ghastly raised his eyes, shook his head.

      “We’re not leaving you!” Skulduggery shouted.

      The Cleaver stepped up to Ghastly, ready to swing the scythe.

      “You’ve got to,” Ghastly said, ever so softly.

      He