Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 12. Derek Landy

your worthless bones to ash, or should I just leave you down here in the darkness? Leaving you here would be more satisfying in the long term, I admit, but what can I say? I crave instant satisfaction. I’m shallow like that.”

      Stephanie lunged, slamming her shoulder into Serpine’s back just as the Sceptre’s crystal flashed. Black lightning zigzagged through the air, missing Skulduggery by centimetres and turning the rock behind him to dust. Serpine turned and grabbed her. Stephanie punched him with all of her strength but he just snarled, and then Skulduggery was there and the air rippled. Serpine went sliding across the cavern floor, but he was still clutching the Sceptre.

      Skulduggery waved at the Hollow Men and they hurtled backwards, then Stephanie felt a gloved hand close around her wrist and she was dragged out of the cavern. Skulduggery sprinted so fast she just allowed herself to be carried along in his wake.

      He knew exactly where he was going, and within minutes they were at the stone steps, hurrying up out of the caves. They reached the cellar and the key flew from the lock into his hand. The floor groaned and rumbled and closed up.

      “Will that hold him?” Stephanie asked.

      “He’s got the Sceptre,” Skulduggery said. “Nothing will hold him.” As if to prove his point, the floor started to crack.

      “Move!” Skulduggery shouted. They bolted up the stairs and Stephanie glanced back just as the floor vanished in a soft whump of dust and air.

      They plunged out of the house into the bright sunlight, the Hollow Men right behind. Stephanie was three steps from the yellow car when one of the Hollow Men grabbed her.

      Stephanie lashed out. Her fingers tore into its face and she ripped downwards and a blast of foul air escaped. The Hollow Man stumbled back, clutching at its head. Its entire body deflated, until it was nothing more than papery skin being trodden on by its brethren.

      Another lunged at her and Skulduggery tackled it, rammed an elbow into the side of its neck and flipped it over his shoulder. There was movement to their right and Tanith Low ran towards them, her sword clearing its scabbard. She came in fast, the blade twirling and glinting in the sun, sending pieces of Hollow Men fluttering into the air like confetti.

      Black lightning streaked from the doorway and the Canary Car crumbled to nothing. Serpine stalked out of the house. Stephanie felt heat flare beside her face as Skulduggery started hurling fireballs. Serpine waved the first one away and dodged back to avoid the others.

      Stephanie was only aware of the other car when it screeched to a stop behind her. The door opened and Tanith sheathed her sword, pushed Stephanie into the car and jumped in after her, and the car was moving again.

      Stephanie sat up in time to see Skulduggery hurl one last ball of fire and then turn and dive straight through the open window. He landed on top of her as the car swerved and she felt his elbow against her head. The car swerved again and they separated. Trees zipped past outside and she knew they were out of Serpine’s line of fire.

      They passed the huge gates that led out of Gordon’s estate and Skulduggery righted himself. “Well,” he said, “that was bracing.”

      A familiar voice came from the front seat. “One of these days I won’t be around to get you out of trouble, you know.”

      Stephanie turned her head, saw the man in the bow tie behind the wheel and beside him, in the passenger seat, China Sorrows, poised and perfect.

      “I don’t know what you’d do without me, Skulduggery,” China said. “I really don’t.”

       23

      THOUGHTS ON DYING HORRIBLY

      he Elders were not happy.

      Eachan Meritorious and Sagacious Tome spoke in hushed voices at the other end of the Sanctuary meeting room. Meritorious was calm but solemn. Tome was livid and panicking.

      Stephanie sat beside Skulduggery. Across the table, Tanith was cleaning her sword. She had something in her hair.

      “Tanith?” Stephanie whispered. Tanith looked up. “You have something…” She pointed to her own head as a hint. “It’s a leaf or something.”

      “Oh, thanks,” Tanith said and put her hand to her hair. She felt around until she found it and pulled it out. She examined it and frowned, looked closer, then her face contorted in disgust and she dropped it on the table. “Oh my God.”

      “What is it?”

      “It’s a piece of Hollow Man skin.”

      Stephanie blanched. “Oh, that’s disgusting.”

      “It was in my hair,” Tanith moaned, flicking the skin across the table.

      Stephanie recoiled and flicked it back and Tanith started to laugh, but Skulduggery’s hand came down, trapping it. He looked at them both.

      “Four-year-olds,” he said. “We’re facing an unimaginable crisis and I’m dealing with four-year-olds.”

      “Sorry,” said Stephanie.

      “Sorry,” said Tanith.

      Morwenna Crow and China Sorrows walked in, followed seconds later by Ghastly Bespoke.

      “Did they find anything?” Skulduggery asked, standing.

      Morwenna answered. “The Cleavers have stormed every hideout and haunt we know of and they haven’t found one trace of Serpine.”

      “The news about the Sceptre is spreading,” China said. “There are rumours that he is bringing his old allies in from the cold.”

      Meritorious and Tome joined them.

      “If even one of the exiles returns,” Meritorious said, “the balance of power will have shifted too much. We’ll be overrun.”

      “We need to get that Sceptre from him,” Tanith said, “see how he likes it.”

      “It wouldn’t work,” China said. “Even if we could get close to it without the crystal warning him that we’re near, he owns it now and no one else can use it while he’s alive.”

      “Then we kill him,” Tome said.

      Meritorious looked to Skulduggery, who nodded and spoke up. “Unfortunately, killing Serpine is not as easy as it may appear. He should be dead right now. I don’t mean wounded, I don’t mean dying, I mean dead. But he healed himself.”

      Stephanie frowned. “He can’t be killed?”

      “Everyone can be killed,” Skulduggery said, turning his head to her slightly. “That’s the one great assurance. I haven’t encountered one thing on this planet that I haven’t been able to kill, and I’m not going to let him be the exception to the rule.”

      “We need to strike now,” Morwenna said, “before he can consolidate his power.”

      “How can we do that if we don’t even know where he is?” Sagacious Tome asked impatiently.

      “But we might know where he was,” Skulduggery said. “Last night I received a call from a gentleman who supplies me with information from time to time. A distinctive silver car was seen on Denholm Street, near the docks. I made a call or two, established that almost every building on that street is being leased by a reputable firm. The one exception is a warehouse that has been leased to an individual, Mr Howard L. Craft.”

      Tome frowned. “So?”

      “L. Craft. Lovecraft. Howard Philip Lovecraft wrote a series of stories commonly referred