Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 12. Derek Landy

kind of peaceful. It wasn’t a peaceful that comforted you and made you feel safe. It was another kind of peaceful, the kind that promised you no more pain, no more joy, no more anything. Looking at him was like looking into a void with no beginning and no ending. Oblivion.

      “The Elders asked me to return,” Mr Bliss said. “These are troubling times, after all.”

      “Is that so?”

      “The two men who had Serpine under surveillance were found dead a few days ago. He is up to something, something he doesn’t want the Elders to know about.”

      Skulduggery paused. “Why didn’t Meritorious tell me this?”

      “The Truce is a house of cards, Mr Pleasant. If it is disturbed, it will all come down. And you are known for your disturbances. The Elders hoped my involvement would be enough of a deterrent, but I fear they have underestimated Serpine’s ambition. They refuse to believe that anyone would benefit from war. And, of course, they still think the Sceptre of the Ancients is a fairy tale.”

      Skulduggery’s voice changed, but only slightly. “You think the Sceptre’s real?”

      “Oh, I know it is. Whether it can do everything the legends claim, that I do not know, but as an object, the Sceptre is quite real. It was uncovered during a recent archaeological dig. As I understand it, Gordon Edgley had been searching for the Sceptre for some time, as part of his research for a book about the Faceless Ones, and he paid a substantial amount of money to gain possession of it. I imagine he worked to verify its authenticity, and once he had done so, he realised he couldn’t keep it. Nor could he pass it on. Gordon Edgley, for all his faults, was a good man, and if there was a chance that it did have the destructive capabilities we’ve all heard about, he would have felt that the Sceptre was too powerful for anyone to possess.”

      “Do you know what he did with it?” Stephanie asked, finding her voice at last.

      “I don’t.”

      “But you think Serpine’s willing to risk war?” Skulduggery asked.

      Mr Bliss nodded. “I think he views the Truce as having outlived its usefulness, yes. I imagine he has been waiting for this moment for quite some time, when he can seize all the power and plunder every secret, and invite the Faceless Ones back into the world.”

      “You believe in the Faceless Ones?” Stephanie asked.

      “I do. I grew up with those teachings and I have carried my faith through to this day. Some dismiss them; some view them as morality tales; some view them as stories to tell children at night. But I believe. I believe that once we were ruled by beings so evil, even their own shadows shied away from them. And I believe they have been waiting to come back, to punish us for our transgressions.”

      Skulduggery cocked his head. “The Elders would listen to you.”

      “They are bound by their rules. I have learned what I can, and I have passed it on to the only person who would know what to do with it. What you do next is up to you.”

      “With you on our side,” Skulduggery said, “things would be a lot easier.”

      A small smile appeared on Mr Bliss’s face. “If I have to act, I will.”

      Without even a “Good day”, Mr Bliss turned and walked away. They stayed where they were for a few moments then got in the Canary Car and Skulduggery pulled away from the curb. They drove for a bit before Stephanie spoke.

      “He’s kind of scary.”

      “That happens when you rarely smile. Mr Bliss is, physically, the most powerful individual on the face of the planet. His strength is beyond legendary.”

      “So he is scary?”

      “Oh, yes, very much so.”

      He drove on, and settled into silence. Stephanie let a few moments drift by.

      “What are you thinking?”

      Skulduggery gave a small shrug. “Lots of clever little things.”

      “So do you believe that the Sceptre is real?”

      “It certainly looks that way.”

      “I suppose this is a big deal for you, huh? Finding out that your gods really existed?”

      “Ah, but we don’t know that. If the Sceptre is real, its true history could have been mixed up with the legends. Its existence does not prove that it was used to drive away the Faceless Ones.”

      “Funny. I wouldn’t have thought that a living skeleton would be such a sceptic. So what’s our next move?”

      Skulduggery was silent for a bit. “Right, well, we’ve got to work out what we need. We’ve got to work out what we need, how we get it and what we need to get to get what we need.”

      “I think I actually understood that,” Stephanie said slowly. The car went over a bump. “No, it’s gone again.”

      “We need the Elders to take action, so we need proof that Serpine has broken the Truce. We need to find the Sceptre and we also need to find out how to destroy the Sceptre.”

      “OK, so how do we do the first one?”

      “We’ll get the proof once we find the Sceptre.”

      “And how do we find the Sceptre?”

      “We find the key.”

      “And how do we destroy the Sceptre?”

      “Ah,” he said. “That’ll be the little bit of crime that we’ll have to embark on.”

      “Crime,” Stephanie said with a smile. “Finally.”

       11

      THE LITTLE BIT OF CRIME

      rom their vantage point, parked across the road, they watched the vampires, once again in their blue overalls, walk up the steps and enter the gleaming art gallery. They were chatting and didn’t look intimidating at all. A few minutes later the staff and day shift security started to trickle out of the building. When every one of them was accounted for, Skulduggery reached into the back seat and pulled the black bag into his lap.

      “We’re going now?” Stephanie asked, looking up into the evening sky. “But it’s still bright.”

      “And that’s precisely why we’re going now,” he said. “Twenty minutes from now, there’ll be two fully-fledged vampires prowling around in there. I want to get in, find out how to destroy the Sceptre and get out before that happens.”

      “Ah. Probably wise.”

      “Very probably.”

      They got out of the horrible Canary Car and crossed the street, left the pavement and moved through the garden area to a tall tree behind the gallery. Making sure they wouldn’t be seen, Skulduggery put the bag over his shoulder and started to climb. Stephanie jumped for the lowest branch, grabbed it and started climbing up after him. She hadn’t done anything like this in years, but climbing a tree was like falling out of one – easy. The tree’s limbs were long and strong, and they quickly came adjacent to the gallery’s roof, which was ridged with a dozen skylights. Stephanie hoisted herself up on a branch and sat there, regarding the large gap between building and tree with curiosity. It looked too far to jump.

      “You sure I can’t come with you?” Stephanie asked.

      “I need you out here in case something goes terribly, terribly wrong.”

      “Like what?”

      “Oh,