Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 12. Derek Landy

day – a crane or possibly a flamingo. Whichever one looked the silliest.

      “Your Eminence,” Wreath said, bowing with due reverence. “I thought we were going to have this conversation within the Temple walls.”

      “Walls have ears,” Craven announced pompously.

      “No, they don’t,” Wreath reminded him without gracing him with a glance. “You’re thinking of people.”

      Craven glowered and Wreath ignored him.

      “I would prefer to discuss this matter outside,” Tenebrae said, “where we will not be overheard. I believe the Soul Catcher has been retrieved?”

      “Yes,” Wreath said. “Valkyrie informs me that they need it to transfer a Remnant back to the Midnight Hotel, but once that is done, it will be returned to us.”

      “The Soul Catcher is our property,” Craven said to Tenebrae. “They have no right to dictate to us when we can have it back. We should demand it be returned to us immediately.”

      “In which case,” said Wreath, “they will ignore our demand then we will look weak and ineffectual in their eyes.”

      “They can’t ignore us!” Craven spluttered.

      “They can and they will. If you were ever to leave the safety of the Temple, you would quickly realise that nobody likes us. They think we’re untrustworthy and dangerous.”

      “Then they should fear us!”

      “And if we had a history of stepping out into the world, they most assuredly would. But it is widely known that we Necromancers like to stay in our temples with our schemes and our plots, and we really don’t like getting our hands dirty. Lord Vile, of course, being the obvious exception.”

      “Traitor,” Quiver said softly, in a tone that almost conveyed emotion.

      “Now is not the time to talk of Lord Vile,” said Tenebrae. “He was once our Death Bringer, he is not any more and so our search continues. Solomon, you will offer to take the Soul Catcher off their hands once the Remnant is trapped.”

      “Sir?”

      “Tell them you will take it back to the Midnight Hotel yourself, or tell them you want to study the contraption once it has a soul inside it. I don’t care what lie you use, just bring me the Soul Catcher and bring me the Remnant. Can you do that?”

      “Of course. May I ask why?”

      “No, you may not,” Craven sneered. Wreath shifted his gaze to him and Craven held that gaze for three whole seconds before crumbling beneath it.

      “The Cain girl,” Tenebrae said, changing the subject with no need for subtlety. “She knows about the Passage?”

      “Pleasant backed me into a corner,” Wreath admitted. “It was either tell her or risk losing her.”

      “I remind you, Cleric Wreath, that we do not all share your conviction that she is the one we’re looking for. She’s far too young for a start.”

      “She’s a natural, your Eminence. She’s taken to Necromancy faster than anyone I’ve seen since Vile.”

      “Not auspicious company,” muttered Quiver.

      “Maybe not,” Wreath said, “but she has the potential to surpass even him. She’s the one we’ve been waiting for. I’m sure of it.”

      “His Eminence is quite correct, however,” Craven said, finding his voice again after far too short a time. “She’s much too young. Plus, she’s entrenched with the skeleton detective. Do you really think you can pry her from his side?”

      “Not easily,” Wreath said, “but it can be done. Skulduggery Pleasant is a fantastically flawed individual.”

      “Much more than even you know,” Tenebrae said. “We will need to meet with her, of course. Our encounters in the past few months have been too brief, and we need to accurately form an opinion of her ability.”

      “Of course, High Priest.”

      Quiver spoke up. “If she is suitable, she will have to be monitored closely to be kept on the right path. History cannot be allowed to repeat itself.”

      “Agreed,” said Wreath, then hesitated. “Your Eminence, if I may return for a moment to the delicate subject of Lord Vile …”

      Tenebrae looked displeased, and Craven stood at the High Priest’s elbow and copied the look remarkably well. Nevertheless, Wreath continued.

      “It seems to me that the closer we get to the Passage, the higher the likelihood of stern opposition from non-believers and enemies alike. News will travel and rumours will spread.”

      “Are you afraid of rumours, Wreath?” Craven laughed. “Are you afraid of idle chatter? Perhaps you are not the man we thought you were. Perhaps you are unsuited to be our representative outside the Temple.”

      “Then who will take my place?” Wreath answered icily. “You? If all my post required was a staggering expertise at fawning, then you’d be welcome to it.”

      “How dare you!” Craven practically screeched.

      Wreath took a sudden step towards him and Craven stumbled over his own robe to get away.

      “Enough!” growled the High Priest. “Solomon, you’re concerned that these rumours will reach unwelcome ears, yes?”

      “Yes, sir.”

      “Such a concern is reasonable, but I can assure you, you need not worry. The Necromancer Order is stronger now than it was during the war with Mevolent. We are more than capable of dealing with trouble, should it arise.”

      “With respect, sir, this is more than mere trouble. Forgive the melodrama of what I am about to say, but if the news that we are preparing for the Passage were to reach whatever corner of the world he has secluded himself in, Lord Vile will return to destroy us all.”

      “In that case,” High Priest Tenebrae said with a patient smile, “we need to be sure that Valkyrie Cain is strong enough to kill him for us, now don’t we?”

      

      alkyrie walked into a room with a massive tub built into the floor. There was a bouquet of flowers arranged in a delicate vase on a nearby table. The huge tub was filled to the brim with mud, and for a moment Valkyrie thought the mud had eyes, which opened as she came in and blinked up at her.

      “Hey, Val,” the mud said.

      “Hey, Tanith,” Valkyrie said back. “You’ve got something on your face …”

      Tanith’s mud-covered features broke into a small smile. “Ghastly already made that joke when he brought me the flowers.”

      “That was nice of him,” Valkyrie said. She pulled up the only chair in the room, and sat. “How are your hands?”

      Tanith raised them for Valkyrie to see. They were heavily bandaged and wrapped in plastic so that the mud wouldn’t get in. “The Professor says they’ll be fine in a few days. The doctors in the Sanctuary soaked the bandages in something I never heard of to heal the wounds. The Professor inspected them the moment I was transferred here. He said they’d do the job. All this mud is for the swelling and the, you know, the trauma. I’ll be fine, he says. He’s doing everything he can to make up for it.”

      “He blames himself,” Valkyrie said. “Even though he couldn’t do anything to