Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 12. Derek Landy

“Unlike every other simpleton who falls in love with you, I have a will of iron. You won’t be able to cloud my thoughts.”

      “I doubt I’d even be able to find them.”

      She smiled graciously and his face slackened for a moment, but then he closed his eyes and shook his head.

      “Stop what you’re doing or I will arrest you.”

      China stood up from the desk. She was wearing blue today. “Remus, despite what you’ve heard, I can’t control what other people feel. I’m just standing here. Any emotion you’re feeling is coming all by itself.”

      His hand moved into his jacket, and she didn’t try to stop him as he pulled out his gun and aimed at her.

      “Stop it,” he snarled.

      “I can’t.”

      “You are influencing the mind of an agent of the Sanctuary. That is a criminal offence.”

      “It is?”

      “You are impeding an investigation!”

      “You came to see me, Remus, and you still haven’t told me why. Would you like some tea?”

      Without waiting for his response, she crossed to the sideboard. The symbols she had carved into the wood glowed with heat as she lifted the teapot to the delicate cup and poured.

      Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him gripping the gun so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

      “Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain,” he said. “They are fugitives from justice and you will deliver them to me.”

      “I don’t know where they are.”

      “But you can find them. You can use your network of informants and spies to track them down.”

      She laughed. “Informants and spies? You make it all sound so glamorous.”

      Holding the saucer in her left hand, she raised the cup to her lips and took a delicate sip.

      Realising that the gun was having no effect on her, Crux holstered it. “You will do what I say or I will make your life uncomfortable.”

      “I don’t mean to upset you, Remus, but there is nothing about you that scares me in the slightest. When I look at you, all I see is an insecure little man trying to step out of the shadow of your predecessor. But Skulduggery casts a long shadow, doesn’t he?”

      “You think it’s jealousy?” Crux smiled. “That’s why I’m so keen to bring him in? It’s not jealousy, Miss Sorrows. I know who he is. I’ve heard the stories about him. I’ve even heard a story that very few people have heard. I think you know it.”

      “I’m sure I do. Are you sure you won’t have some tea?”

      “You’re not grasping the seriousness of the situation. I heard this one particular story from a dying man, who wanted to pass on his biggest secret before he left us. He was a Necromancer actually. I’ve never had much time for death magicians, but he was different. Do I have your attention yet?”

      China sighed and took her tea over to the desk. “Say what you have to say, Remus. I have a business to attend to.”

      He leaned in. “I know how Skulduggery Pleasant came back from the dead, Miss Sorrows, and I know what happened after. And I know what you did.”

      She observed him with cold eyes and said nothing.

      “I’ve known for the last two years,” Crux continued. “I went looking for evidence to support this claim, but I had neither the resources nor the authority available to me. But since the Grand Mage brought me in, I’ve been working at it, behind the scenes, bit by bit, piecing it together.”

      “I genuinely don’t know what you’re talking about.”

      “Do you think he knows what you did? What am I talking about? Of course he doesn’t. If he knew, you’d be dead, am I right?”

      “You do not want to upset me,” China said, pushing her cup to one side. “You wouldn’t like me when I’m upset.”

      “Bring them to me,” said Crux. “Arrange a meeting, spring a trap. Pleasant and Cain. I want them gift-wrapped and handed over.”

      “No.”

      “If you don’t, I go public with my suspicions, and you know what would happen then. He has a thing for revenge, doesn’t he?”

      China’s blue eyes narrowed. “He’s trying to save us.”

      “He’s working with the Diablerie.”

      “Don’t be absurd.”

      “He aided the enemy, Miss Sorrows. He will be arrested, tried and imprisoned. The only thing I care about, the only result I’m interested in, is that he is taken off the streets, and I can do that with, or without, your help. For your own wellbeing, I think you should co-operate.”

      “We need him.”

      “No,” he said, “we don’t. He’s an unpredictable quantity. We need someone with rules, with ethics, with a moral sense of duty. Someone like me. Good day, Miss Sorrows. I will be expecting your call.”

      

      ery lightly, Valkyrie ran her tongue over the cap on her broken tooth, scared she might dislodge it before it had time to set. Kenspeckle examined his handiwork and nodded.

      “It’ll be fine.”

      “It feels a little big,” she admitted.

      “That’s because it is. In a few weeks you’ll wear it down and have it level with the rest of your teeth, and you’ll forget it’s even there. Don’t bite anything for a few hours – you might want to avoid eating anything particularly chewy or tough – and you really ought to stop getting punched in the face.”

      Valkyrie looked down at her boots. “Sorry,” she muttered.

      “You don’t have to apologise to me – I’m not the one getting hit.”

      “Thanks for doing this, Kenspeckle.”

      He sighed. “I may have my issues with Mr Pleasant, and I may have a problem with what you’re being taught and how you are treated, but never mistake any of that for a problem with you, my dear.”

      “But I’m treated well.”

      “You’re treated like an adult,” Kenspeckle said. “That’s not being treated well. The fact is, no matter how much you act otherwise, you are a child and you should be treated like a child.”

      “You don’t treat me like a child.”

      He smiled. “Of course I do, but you seem to have this ridiculous notion that being treated like a child means to be treated with any less respect than an adult.”

      “Not everyone sees things the way you do.”

      “And what have I always told you about other people?”

      “They’re idiots,” she grinned.

      “And your beautiful smile is back. You know, sometimes I think I’m better than even I think I am.”

      “Is that possible?”

      “I wouldn’t have thought so. Here, wear this until you get your coat back.” He handed her a jacket and sighed. Skulduggery stood in the doorway.

      “We’d