Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 12. Derek Landy

guy.”

      His smile was unpleasant. “Right again.”

      She stepped back. “You’re meant to be in prison. Tanith put you there.”

      Jack frowned. “You know Tanith Low?”

      “Of course.”

      “She’s … she’s close?”

      “She’s somewhere around here, yes. She’s with Skulduggery.”

      “Oh, bloody ’ell,” Jack said, looking around nervously. “Oh, that’s not good.’ Ave I just helped ’em?”

      “I’m afraid you have.”

      “Oh, for … oh, for ’eaven’s sake. Well that’s just … That’s just typical, that is. Don’t tell either of ’em I was here, right? I saved your neck. Literally, your neck I saved. Promise me.”

      “Are you going to leave the country?”

      “I’m leavin’ now.”

      “Then I’ll tell them tomorrow. If any of us are still alive.”

      “You’re a right lady, you are. G’night now. And good luck.”

      And with a leap and a bound, Springheeled Jack was gone.

      

      he earth’s shadow was starting to creep across the face of the full moon. The convoy stopped on a quiet road. Engines were cut and headlights snapped off. The Cleavers jumped from the back of the trucks, making not one sound as they lined up and waited for instructions.

      Valkyrie swung her leg off Tanith’s bike and took off the helmet. She was nervous. Her palms were sweating and her teeth wouldn’t stop chattering.

      “Feeling OK?” Tanith asked, keeping her voice low.

      “I’m good,” Valkyrie lied. “I’m grand. We’re just, you know, we’re about to fight a god, like.”

      “Part of a god,” Tanith corrected. “Parts of other things too.”

      Valkyrie looked at her and shook her head in wonder. “You’re actually looking forward to this, aren’t you?”

      “Hell, yeah. I mean, fighting a god, part of a god, hybrid god, whatever. As you say, this is big. This is major. I’ve fought all kinds over the years, but … a god. Assuming I survive this, where do I go from here? What would top fighting a god?”

      “I don’t know,” Valkyrie said. “Fighting two gods?”

      The Bentley pulled up and Skulduggery and Mr. Bliss got out. Skulduggery took off his coat and scarf and left them in the car. He and Bliss approached and the Cleavers stood to attention. Valkyrie had to fight down the irrational urge to salute.

      “Billy-Ray Sanguine and the Grotesquery are in a derelict hospital just north of here,” Bliss said, addressing them all. “The vampire known as Dusk is currently in our custody, but the whereabouts of Baron Vengeous are still unknown. We can assume that he is on his way. He wouldn’t want to miss the return of the Faceless Ones.”

      “I want you all to know,” Skulduggery said, “that we are the first line of defence. In fact, we’re practically the only line of defence. If we fail, there won’t be a whole lot anyone else will be able to do. What I’m trying to say is that failure at this point isn’t really the smart move to make. We are not to fail, do I make myself absolutely clear? Failure is bad, it won’t help us in the short term and certainly won’t do us any favours in the long run, and I think I’ve lost track of this speech, and I’m not too sure where it’s headed. But I know where it started and that’s what you’ve got to keep in mind. Has anyone seen my hat?”

      “You put it on the roof of the car when you were taking off your coat,” Valkyrie said.

      “Did I? I did, excellent.”

      “We will attack in two waves,” Bliss said, steering the briefing back into the realms of relevance. “The first wave will consist of Tanith Low, Valkyrie Cain, Skulduggery Pleasant and myself. The second wave will be you Cleavers.”

      “We’re seizing our chance now,” Skulduggery said, “before Vengeous returns and we have a battle on two fronts. The first wave will weaken the Grotesquery. We’re going to hit it with everything we’ve got, and not give it any time to teleport away or to heal. Once we know that it is damaged, we’ll call in the second wave. Does anyone have any questions? No? No one? No questions? You sure?”

      Bliss turned to him. “There do not seem to be any questions.”

      Skulduggery nodded. “They’re a fine lot.”

      Bliss gestured and the Cleavers divided into groups, and Valkyrie and Skulduggery strode away.

      “I used to be so good at that kind of thing,” Skulduggery said quietly.

      “Well, my morale is certainly boosted,” Valkyrie informed him.

      “Really?”

      “God, no. That was terrible.”

      Tanith and Bliss joined them and they stepped into the trees. Valkyrie moved as stealthily as she could, but the others were moving in complete silence. She glimpsed Cleavers all around, their grey uniforms mixing with the gloom and the darkness until they became mere hints of people.

      They stopped just inside the treeline. Ahead of them, past an old metal fence, was the main hospital building. The black jeep was parked outside and Sanguine emerged from the hospital doors, holding a phone to his ear.

      “OK,” Sanguine said, his voice clear in the quiet night, “I can hear you better now, go ahead.”

      As Sanguine listened to whatever was being said on the other end of the phone, Valkyrie glanced at her companions, suddenly realising that Skulduggery was no longer with them. She looked back at Sanguine.

      “So that’s it then?” he was saying. “I just leave? Naw, that ugly critter is back there, standin’ around and not doin’ a whole lot.”

      Valkyrie narrowed her eyes, squinting into the darkness behind Sanguine. She saw something move. Skulduggery.

      Sanguine continued talking, totally unaware of the Skeleton Detective sneaking up behind him. “I’m pretty sure the vampire’s taken care of, we don’t have to worry about him any more. And what about our friend the Baron?”

      Valkyrie frowned. Who was Sanguine talking to?

      “You sure?” he was saying. “You don’t want me to …? No, no, I ain’t questionin’ you, I just … Yeah, I know who’s payin’ my salary. Hey, no skin off my chin, if that’s the way you want it. I’m walkin’ away now.” He put the phone in his pocket and smirked.

      “Have a nice life, Baron,” he said softly, then turned and walked straight into Skulduggery’s fist.

      He staggered and went for his knife, but Skulduggery chopped at his wrist and his fingers sprang open, sending the knife flying. He swung a punch and Skulduggery caught him and smacked his head off the jeep. Sanguine slumped to the ground. Skulduggery picked up the knife and flung it away, then motioned for the others to join him.

      They broke from the treeline. The large gate had already been blasted open and they moved through it, up to Skulduggery. He had Sanguine’s phone in his hand and he was checking through it.

      “Whoever that was,” he said, “their number is blocked.”

      “Sanguine’s