Confessions. Sasha Campbell

he could see the look of panic. I spent the last of the money getting my hair and nails done. “We’ve got more than enough money in our savings to buy a house.”

      “Uh-uh. We’re not touching that unless we have to.”

      We had close to a hundred thousand in savings that he wouldn’t let me touch. Said he was saving it for a rainy day. Well, guess what? Pressure was raining on my ass to move.

      “You come up with the earnest money and all our closing costs, and I’ll let you use some of our savings for the down payment.”

      Let? I had to bite my tongue. Who did he think he was talking to? Okay, I’ll admit, he contributed more than 97 percent of our savings, but so what? There’s no I in marriage, only us. “Sure, sweetheart, that sounds like a plan.” I just needed to figure out how to come up with the money. I wasn’t about to tell Leon my personal checking account was overdrawn. I’d find the way to get the money. One thing about Trinette Meyers-Montgomery, she knows how to get what she wants.

      7

      Nikki

      The last place I wanted to be was on the air, but I wasn’t about to mess up one of the only good things I had going for me. I seriously needed this job to help keep me going, otherwise I’d spend another evening thumbing through photographs of what my life used to be while feeling sorry for myself.

      I glanced over into the control room just in time to see Tristan wave his hand in the air, trying to get my attention. We were about to go back on the air in four…three…two…one…

      “We’re back from break, and if you missed the first half of the night, you missed a whole lotta drama,” I sang. “But don’t fret, because we’re about to kick off the second half of the evening. For all of you who are just tuning in, tonight’s topic is breakups. Sometimes we split up and get back together. Others just sit around hoping and waiting for that phone call saying, I’m sorry. Tonight, I wanna know what it took for you to finally know it was over. That you had been kicked to the curb. So, let’s hear it, listeners. Spill your guts even if the truth hurts! Call me at 832-HURT. All the phone lines are open.”

      I looked down at the phone and every light was lit. Damn, the show tonight was going to be hot. After a dozen calls, the rush was over, and I finally blew out a long, hot breath. “Well, listeners, there you have it. Love can sometimes be a painful lesson to us all. This is Nikki Truth with Hot 97 WJPC. Good night.”

      I hit the switch, removed the headphones from my ears and leaned back in the chair. My head was pounding.

      “You okay?”

      I looked up at the concern in Tristan’s face. I was hurting. There was no doubt about that. “Yeah, I’ll be okay.”

      He squeezed my shoulder, trying to provide me comfort. “You know, Donovan’s gonna regret his decision. You just wait and see. The second he gets back from Iraq he’s gonna come begging for you to take his ass back.”

      “I doubt that. It’s over between us, and I’m finally coming to terms with that. Just listening to all our callers tonight, talking about holding on and not letting go, made me realize I need to get on with my life. My marriage to Donovan is over.”

      “You okay with that?”

      “I don’t have a choice. But yeah, I’m fine.”

      I left the radio station and rode around, and realized I wasn’t ready to go home yet. My phone rang. I looked down and was shocked to see it was Trinette. She should be curled up under the covers with Leon.

      “Hey, I heard your show tonight. What the hell’s wrong with you?”

      “I’ll have to tell you when I see you,” I mumbled as I made a right at the next corner.

      “Why don’t you come over now? I’m just sitting studying for a test.”

      “Where’s Leon?”

      She clicked her tongue. “I put his ass to sleep.”

      I laughed, glad to be able to have something to chuckle about, because my life was far from amusing.

      “Come on over. I’ll get the wineglasses out.”

      I hung up with a smile on my face and hit the highway toward Kirkwood, where the bougie folks lived, and my girl was definitely bougie. As soon as I parked my car in the driveway, she came to the door to greet me. Thank goodness. The temperature had dropped and it was definitely cold outside. Typical Midwest January weather.

      Trinette was standing there in a short pink robe and matching slippers. “Hurry up and get in here. I’ll be so glad when this weather is over!”

      “Me too.” I followed her through the condo to the family room behind the kitchen. A couple of years ago Trinette hired an interior designer who had come in and made the place a showcase. Everything was new and state of the art. I took a seat on a rose-colored couch that looked fabulous with pinks and cream. I told her the house was too damn feminine for a married woman. Trinette was quick to point out no one lived in the condo but her, so she got to decide how it looked.

      Trinette took a seat on a mauve recliner across from me. Since I was the closest to the coffee table, I reached for the bottle and poured two glasses. We both loved Moscato.

      “So talk to me, Nikki. What’s going on with you? You sounded like you were ready to kick somebody’s ass,” she said, and reached for a glass.

      I took a couple of sips before answering. “Donovan sent me a letter.”

      Her eyes widened. “That’s good, isn’t it? Well, what did he say?”

      It took a moment for me to put my words together. “He told me it was time for us to move on.” My voice cracked at the end, and I took another drink because my throat was suddenly dry.

      “Oh, no! You’ve got to be kidding.” I hate when people say that like I would really joke about something like that.

      “He sent the letter to the bookstore instead of the house. Why would he do that?” I looked at her, hoping she had an explanation.

      “I have no idea,” she said, looking as if she was barely able to get the words out, she was so shocked.

      “Obviously, the fool forgot where we live.” I reached inside my purse and handed her the letter to read. I already had it memorized.

      Trinette took her time reading it, then released a heavy sigh. “You said you thought something was wrong.”

      “I know, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Something has been wrong for a long time, even before Mimi…” My voice trailed off. There was no way I was about to go there.

      “I can’t believe he dumped you in a letter,” Trinette snapped, and handed me the tear-stained paper.

      “I-I guess that was the only way he knew how. We’ve been having problems just talking to each other for a long time.” I shrugged my shoulders. “I knew this…this day was coming. I just wasn’t prepared. But are we ever really prepared?”

      Leaning back in her chair, she shook her head in bewilderment. “Nikki…this is some shit. I’m so sorry, girlfriend. I used to envy the two of you.”

      I gave her a weird look. “Envy us?”

      “Hell, yeah. The two of you have been together since junior high. You knew someday you would get married. And as far as I know he’s the only man you’ve ever fucked. Now that’s amazing.”

      “I guess for you it is.”

      Trinette started laughing, and I laughed along with her until she pressed a finger to her lips.

      “Oh, shit!” I whispered. “I forgot Leon’s home.”

      Trinette gave me a dismissive wave. “Don’t worry. He’s out like a light.”

      Maybe