Big Spankable Asses. Kimberly Kaye Terry

was white, but although it was early in the summer, his skin was a nice golden tan as though he’d spent time in the sun.

      His dark blue eyes were deep set and the look in them when he’d held her gaze made her think, for one moment, that she was the only woman in the world. The way he’d given her an almost quizzical half-smile, the flash of dimple and way he’d stared at her mouth, had her imagining what she’d like to do to him with her mouth.

      No two ways about it, the man was fine.

      “Okay, so you said that part already. He’s fine. Now move on,” she said to herself.

      “Hi Lilly! Ooh, girl, thanks! You like my new blouse? I bought it yesterday at Macy’s one-day clearance sale! But don’t tell anyone that. Gotta protect the diva image,” her co-worker said as she passed his desk.

      “Lee, you nut, I wasn’t talking to you. I was just talking out loud,” Lilliana laughingly answered.

      “Oh poo! I thought you were talking to me!” The Hispanic man made a small moue with his lips and Lilliana reached over and patted him on the back.

      “I’m sorry, sweetie! Yes, I like your blouse…although, Lee—women wear blouses, men wear shirts.”

      “Um well, not this man. Don’t I look fabulous in it?” he said and promptly jumped up from his chair and did a small pirouette for Lilly and curtsied.

      “Of course you do! Now sit down, before Ms. Hillman sees you out of your chair! If you want to get hired on as a full-time administrative assistant, you need to fly a little further under the radar!”

      “As if! Girlfriend, all this fineness can not be contained.” He laughed and leaned against her partition, examining the nearly clear coat of polish on his manicured hands.

      “Lee,” she began.

      “Please call me by my diva name. That’s Ms. Leesia to you, ma’am.” He tooted his lips out and gave her an air kiss.

      “Do you have to be the stereotype?” She tucked her large hobo bag underneath her desk and started pulling out documents in her inbox to prepare for the day.

      “It’s what I do best, sweet thing! Why be a drear queer?”

      “I guess,” Lilliana said as she readied her desk and situated herself.

      “Life is too short to try and live up to someone else’s expectations of who you should be. Been there, done that, got the friggin’ badge, mami,” he laughed. Lilliana heard something more than humor behind the laugh. Lee noted the look and answered her unasked question.

      “Long story short, I grew up with a father who didn’t exactly take well to his ten-year-old son telling him he preferred Ken over Barbie, and ballet to football. Added to that, there’s the bizarreness of my mother who continually caught me dressing up in her stilettos, makeup, and panties. Her only response was ‘It’s just a phase. He’ll grow out of it!’” The happy, carefree veneer dropped from Lee’s handsome face, leaving a disgusted sad look in its place.

      “I’m sorry, Lee.”

      “No biggie. I’m happy now and my parents are slowly coming around. Eventually maybe they’ll accept who I am. And if they don’t…oh well! I’m not missing Macy’s one day sale for anyone! I’d sell mi abuela to get that new Versace blouse I’ve had my eyes on for the last month. It’s going on sale twenty percent off for one…day…only,” he dramatically stretched out the last three words.

      “You are so stupid!” Lilliana said with affection.

      She and Lee had taken to one another quickly during the last two weeks of her employment with the firm. Lee too was a temporary hire, and like her, he wanted to be hired on full time. When Lilliana had been assigned the cubicle next to his, he’d taken the sole responsibility of hipping her up to what went on at Longmire, Lieberman and Strauss, and the beginning of their friendship.

      “But you love me anyway. So what did you and those heffas you hang out with decide to do?”

      “About what?” She didn’t bother to check him on calling her girls heffas. He’d ignore her anyway if she did.

      “Honey, don’t play with me! You know what I’m talking about! Big, spankable…”

      “Sshh, Lee! Someone might hear you!” Lilliana said and stood up at her cubicle and glanced around. She caught the supervisor’s eyes, and quickly sat down. “You’d better sit down, Lee. Ms. Hillman is eyeballing you all the way from her office. And this time, I don’t think she’s got her eyes on your new bag.” Lee swore up and down that the woman was jealous of his collection of Louis Vuitton bags.

      “Whatever, chica. I’m not afraid of that overgrown rat.” He talked a good game, but Lilliana noticed he sat down anyway.

      “That’s not nice, Lee. She can’t help her overbite,” Lilliana said automatically.

      “Braces. How about a nice set of braces? Hmmm? And you know she’s making mucho dinero! The heffa’s been working for Longmire since the Stone Age. Not married, no kids…uh huh, she got money, mami, trust me. She needs to use a few of those greenbacks and get her damn mustache waxed…with her ole evil self.” He quickly turned to his work when the woman turned her eyes on him, a deep frown settling across her mustachioed face.

      “Lee,” Lilly hissed, trying to make him be quiet. If he kept on, she knew she’d end up laughing out loud and drawing more attention to herself and give Ms. Hillman a reason to come over to their cubicle.

      “We’ll talk about this later!” Lee promised in a low voice.

      She turned her headset on and listened to Kem croon low in her ears. Music always helped her work go by faster and she was surprised when they were allowed to listen to headsets in the office.

      Lilliana happily began on the mountain of statements she had in her inbox that needed to be processed into the computer and bounced a bit in her chair as she worked.

      “So…did you?”

      “Boy, you almost gave me a damn heart attack! Did I what?” She’d been concentrating for several minutes when Lee plucked one of the earphones away from her ear and asked the question.

      He frowned at her and poked out his lips and she sighed. “You are not going to let it go, are you?”

      “No, I’m not! I just don’t think you have the balls to actually go through with it, that’s all.”

      “Don’t have the what? Pulleeze! I not only have the balls to contemplate it…I did it! I took out the ad!” Lilliana stated proudly. She lowered her voice when a few co-workers turned their heads in her direction at her confession. “And not only that…it comes out in today’s issue of the Reader!” She smirked when Lee’s mouth literally dropped.

      “Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies!” she laughed.

      “I don’t believe it! Prove it!” he hissed back over the partition and promptly sat back down when Ms. Hillman came out of her office.

      Lilliana dug out her bag from underneath her desk in the cubicle and plopped it into her lap. “I have the proof right here,” she said and rummaged around inside until she came out with a folded piece of paper. She wheeled herself away from her desk and toward Lee’s cubicle and shoved the cut-out to him. “Check it out!” she giggled.

      Lee quickly scanned the contents of the ad and raised approving eyes at her. “Oh, snap! You did do it! Girl, I can’t believe it! Oh, how funny, Big Spankable Asses!” he chortled at the words she’d handwritten across the top of the paper. “Did your girlfriends do it as well? I want all the details and don’t leave anything out!” He settled back in his chair with an excited look crossing his handsome face.

      “I’ll give you the scoop at lunchtime—right now, give it back! Ms. Hillman is headed this way.” She grabbed the paper and stuffed it into the