Sex, Lies & Stellenbosch. Eva Mazza

      “I’m a housewife. I have two grown-up children, so it seems I’m going to need to find a job.”

      Claudia laughed. “Nonsense. Just retire.”

      “I suppose I’ll have to. I don’t have much work experience. What do you do?”

      “I’m a psychologist.”

      What are the odds that I’d be seated opposite a psychologist? “Well, I’ll remember to steer clear of all my ‘issues’,” she said, laughing. “I’m sure that’s why you’re here: to unwind?”

      “Partly true,” Claudia conceded. “I have just testified in a child abuse case. I deal with children, so my work is depressing and very draining. This one was depleting. But, trial or no trial, it’s my once-a-year treat to myself. And you, Jen, what brought you here?” Her eyes fixed on Jen. Jen felt that if she looked at her any longer, she would uncover the truth.

      She swallowed, supressing any emotion that dared to reveal itself to this stranger.

      “It was an impulsive decision. I needed to get away, so I climbed into my car and, well, here I am. I’ve always wanted to come here but it’s rather extravagant. But to hell with that, I deserve to be pampered after what I’ve just been through.” She babbled on, trying too hard to sound upbeat. “I even had to buy new clothes at a premium price from the spa’s boutique. I didn’t pack as much as a toothbrush!” she said, making light of her very urgent desire to get as far away from John as possible.

      “Well, you weren’t joking when you said ‘impulsive’!” Claudia said. “Actually, I was admiring the way you looked. I may just go and buy myself the same top, seeing that we don’t know each other. I solemnly promise I won’t wear it here.”

      Jen laughed. “Well, I’m flattered. Nobody’s wanted to copy my style for a very long time.”

      Claudia tilted her head sideways. “I think you’re exaggerating. Unless this is the only wardrobe upgrade you’ve had since the eighties.”

      Jen pictured herself trapped in the eighties with leg warmers and a perm. The thought made her smile. Then again, there had been those gold leggings.

      “No, not exactly; although my daughter may believe this to be true. I don’t know if you have children, but girls, it seems, stop thinking that their mothers are cool around about puberty. Mine thought I was embarrassing from birth, maybe even conception. My attempts at being cool…”

      The waiter interrupted to take their food order.

      “I’m afraid we haven’t looked at our menus yet,” Jen said, amazed at the ease with which the conversation flowed. “Give us another five minutes, please.”

      The two women studied the menu. Jen decided on the fillet steak accompanied by a garden salad and baby potatoes, and a side order of mushrooms.

      Claudia ordered the same. “Only please see that my fillet is medium. No rare bits.”

      After their wine was poured, and after they had toasted to “recharged batteries”, Claudia said softly, “You said that you needed to get away from home. You don’t have to tell me why, but it would be very rude of me not to ask.” She paused then said, “I’m not asking to be polite either. It may help to talk. I’m a stranger. It may make talking that much easier.”

      Jen sighed. “Do you really want to know that I caught my husband with another woman early this morning?” She could see Claudia’s eyebrow lift. “I’m not sure if I’m angry with him, that woman or myself.”

      Claudia leaned towards her. “Why would you be to blame?”

      Jen swirled her wine around in her glass, took a sip and swallowed before answering.

      “It makes me think. Maybe I haven’t been the model wife. Maybe I’m boring and I’ve let a lot go.”

      Claudia wasn’t letting anything go. “What do you mean?”

      “Well, I’ve just resigned myself to the fact that I’m getting old. I sure as hell don’t feel sexy or interesting, or needed for that matter, so why should anyone else feel that way about me, especially my husband?”

      Claudia smiled at her. Jen liked her smile. It was warm.

      “So, what do you do for ‘me time and we time’?” she asked.

      “Well, my friends and I do book club once a month and we’ve recently started Zumba class, which is fun. I don’t really do anything for myself. I regard it as a little self-indulgent.”

      Claudia smiled. “Ah, thank you. You’ve answered my question. Do you think ‘me time’ is selfish? Yes, you do. Do you think that being selfish is a bad trait? You definitely do. You haven’t even mentioned ‘we time’, so can I just assume that your husband and you don’t do much together as a couple?”

      Jen looked down to hide the tears that were welling up. She smiled and waved her hand at Claudia to apologise for her emotions. Have I no fucking self-control? she thought.

      Eventually she looked up.

      “I’m sorry, Jen. I was playing psychologist. Maybe I don’t know how to engage with people any other way.”

      “That’s fine. You’re right. That’s the thing. I know we all have choices. I didn’t know that my choice would ultimately have a very lonely outcome.”

      Claudia interrupted her. “What choice?”

      “To devote my life entirely to my husband and children,” Jen said, knowing she had willingly pushed aside career plans after Brigit was born. “I didn’t know how to do it any differently. It just felt like it was the right thing to do. And look at me now,” she said, smiling with a hint of self-pity in her voice.