The Further Adventures of An Idiot Abroad. Karl Pilkington

home to the Yuri Gagarin Cosmonaut Training Centre. A teacher at my school said he waved to Yuri Gagarin when he visited Manchester in 1961 after his trip into space. He said Gagarin drove through Moss Side, which some would say is more dangerous than travelling to outer space, and hundreds of people came out in the rain to show their appreciation. He said he was a true hero who had risked everything to make history for his country. I remember not being that impressed at the time, as I knew monkeys had been launched into space before him. He was basically taking over a monkey’s job. How hard can it have been? Plus, there was so much more that needed inventing back then. What was the rush to get to space? You know, we landed on the moon before someone thought about putting wheels on suitcases!

      The teacher then asked us to write a story about doing an heroic act and the speech you would make afterwards. I made up a story in which I had one of my tonsils out to give to my brother. I wrote that I couldn’t do a speech about how I felt about my heroicness afterwards as my throat hurt. The teacher wrote ‘Lazy’ in red pen.

      I wasn’t really interested in space when I was younger. It was something that was a big deal before my time. I liken it to how Benidorm was a popular place to go in the 1970s, then Tenerife in the 1980s. Space was all the rage in the 1960s. Since Armstrong landed on the moon it seems everyone has lost interest after seeing there wasn’t much there.

      I got to Star City. There was a statue of Gagarin not far away from the apartment he used to live in. The head of the statue was good and looked like him, but the trousers were not so good. Maybe this is why most statues are of naked bodies. Sculptors find it easier carving out a knob and bollocks than getting the creases in trousers to look real.

      I’m pretty impressed by the heads that have been carved into Mount Rushmore. More of this should be done. There’s loads of mountains all over the world and we don’t do much with them. Rather than taking a chunk of rock down from a mountain and making a sculpture and then sticking it in a town centre where it just gets in the way, leave the rock where it belongs and sculpt it there.

      Also, people get lost when they’re out climbing in mountains in Scotland. What could make life easier for rescue people than being able to pin-point where you are by saying who’s face you’re climbing up. Also, maybe kids would get off their arse more and go walking if they could go and see the faces of One Direction cut into Ben Nevis.