Disentangle. Nancy L. Johnston

      Printed in the United States of America.

      17 16 15 14 13 12 11 1 2 3 4 5

      Publisher: Central Recovery Press

       3371 N. Buffalo Drive

       Las vegas, Nv 89129

      Editor’s Note: Disentangle is designed to provide accurate and valuable information about the subject matter presented. The material and approach come from the author’s personal history, as well as her work as a psychotherapist over more than three decades. However, it is in no way intended to serve as a substitute for professional behavioral health care services. In the event that such services are needed, a licensed professional should be consulted.

       Cover design and interior by Sara Streifel, Think Creative Design Photo of Nancy Johnston by Grace DuVal Johnston

      Table of

      Contents

Preface to the Revised Edition

Preface to the First Edition

tangles

1 By Definition

2 The First Twenty-or-So Years

3 The Second Twenty-or-So Years

4 Others on This Journey

untangling

5 The Big Picture

6 The Basics

       7 The Four Areas of Work

       living

       8 So What’s Happened to “Others on This Journey”?

       9 The Next Twenty-or-So Years

       Epilogue

       Appendices

       Appendix A Characteristics of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic (Woititz, 1983)

       Appendix B Roles in an Alcoholic Family (Wegscheider-Cruse, 1989)

       Bibliography

      disentangle

      “I am well and strong. And so is

      Disentangle.”

Preface to the Revised Edition

      Many seasons have passed since I wrote the first Preface. Much water has flowed down our river. Many walks along it have occurred. Many trips down the river on tubes and in canoes have been enjoyed. Our children have been raised and are now out in the much bigger world. We have aged and wear glasses and get discounts for being senior citizens. We are well and strong.

      I am well and strong. And so is Disentangle.

      In fact, Disentangle has reached such a level of good health that a dream of mine has come true: Disentangle has been picked up by a traditional, a.k.a. “real,” publisher, and I am very pleased to say that it is Central Recovery Press (CRP). You know that already, because if you now have the book in your hands and are reading this, it has been released by CRP. This is a major success for me and my book.

      It has been seven years since I wrote the first Preface after walking with my friend, Sally, along the river. That day we were speaking about my releasing the book through various forms of self-publishing. Much has happened with Disentangle since that day to develop and support the book’s success and bring it into this broader, professional market. There are many stories and people along the way who have supported and fostered the growth of this project, and to each of them I am extremely grateful. And I am amazed at how this book and its contents have blossomed into more ideas, tools, and opportunities. Here is some of this story over these years.

      When I finished writing Disentangle, I sent it to several traditional publishers for consideration for publication. One publisher expressed strong interest in it twice but never chose to accept it. I found their near-acceptance encouraging, and, of course, I believed strongly in the value of this material, so I pursued self-publication. I let go of the desire and need to have someone else publish the book and went about my business of helping to relay and teach this information to interested others.

      Initially the book was printed by an office supply store and had a plastic spiral binding. A local bookstore owner was more than willing to put it on her shelves, and we had a successful book signing for the public. People bought it in her store and in my office. I realized that the form of the book easily lent itself to conducting workshops on it, and I began to do just that in my office as an additional aspect of my clinical practice. All sorts of individuals found the book and came to these workshops. I started to see that what I anticipated was true—the book has broad appeal and application. The list of people I write about on the second page of the book are the people who were drawn in by its title and who became excited about the way the Disentangle approach is constructed.

      By March 2004 I had upgraded the form of the book by working with a professional self-publishing company that helped me to design and construct a bound copy of the book that could be ordered on demand. That worked very well, and over these years around 1,200 copies of Disentangle have been sold in that self-published version. The local bookstore owner again sponsored a book signing for this new release, and interest from readers continued to show up, individual by individual.

      With a professionally bound book in my hands and a history of conducting workshops based on its concepts, tools, and techniques, I decided to branch out beyond my wonderful and receptive community to the broader world. I was accepted to present some of the book’s material at a statewide conference. The response by attendees was very strong—so strong that I was surprised. I had standing room only in the session, sold all of the books I had brought, and had a number of people speaking with me after the session. One person in particular, who worked in an employee assistance program (EAP) setting, was so positive and eager for the material in Disentangle that she connected me with a regional EAP conference at which I presented shortly thereafter.

      I presented the Disentangle approach at numerous other conferences over the next three to four years. I learned that one successful presentation builds on another, that I would meet people at one conference who would connect me with another opportunity to present. I presented to mental health counselors, addiction counselors, guidance counselors, EAP counselors, doctors, nurses, and unit staff for hospitals, treatment centers, and prisons.

      Now I don’t want to sound like I was out on a full-time lecture or presentation circuit by any means. At the most, I would present five to six times per year at various and wonderful places on the East Coast. I continued to be a full-time counselor in my private practice, a mother, and