Why Is Jesus in the Microwave? Funny Stories from Catholic Classrooms. Mary Kathleen Glavich, SND

       Why Is Jesus in the Microwave?

      Funny Stories from Catholic Classrooms

      Mary Kathleen Glavich, SND

      Our Sunday Visitor Publishing Division

      Our Sunday Visitor, Inc.

      Huntington, Indiana 46750

      Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®, copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. New International Version® and NIV® are registered trademarks of Biblica, Inc. Use of either trademark for the offering of goods or services requires the prior written consent of Biblica US, Inc.

      Every reasonable effort has been made to determine copyright holders of excerpted materials and to secure permissions as needed. If any copyrighted materials have been inadvertently used in this work without proper credit being given in one form or another, please notify Our Sunday Visitor in writing so that future printings of this work may be corrected accordingly.

      Copyright © 2015 Sr. Mary Kathleen Glavich, SND. (Some of the text in this book appeared in Catholic School Kids Say the Funniest Things, by Mary Kathleen Glavich, SND [Paulist Press, 2002]). Cartoons copyright © 2015 Lucius Wisniewski. Published 2015.

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      All rights reserved. With the exception of short excerpts for critical reviews, no part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means whatsoever without permission in writing from the publisher. Contact: Our Sunday Visitor Publishing Division, Our Sunday Visitor, Inc., 200 Noll Plaza, Huntington, IN 46750; 1-800-348-2440; [email protected].

      ISBN: 978-1-61278-852-4 (Inventory No. T1656)

      eISBN: 978-1-61278-857-9

      LCCN: 2014958987

      Cover design: Lindsey Riesen

      Cover art: Shutterstock

      Interior design: Sherri L. Hoffman

      Interior art: Lucius Wisniewski

      PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

      Dedicated to all those Sisters of Notre Dame, who, proclaiming God’s goodness and provident care, taught with passion, patience, and a twinkle in their eyes.

       Contents

       Introduction

       1. Religion

       2. The Bible

       3. The Mass

       4. Sacraments and Sacramentals

       5. Prayer

       6. Saints

       7. Morality

       8. Reading

       9. English

       10. Spelling

       11. Mathematics

       12. Science

       13. History and Geography

       14. Music

       15. Art

       16. Home Economics

       17. Physical Education

       18. Teachers

       19. Principals

       20. Supervisors

       21. Students

       22. Parents

       23. Sisterly Things

       24. Discipline

       25. Homework, Tests, and Grades

       26. Holy Days and Holidays

       27. Misunderstandings

       28. Hodgepodge

       Introduction

       A cheerful heart is good medicine,but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

      — Proverbs 17:22

      Laughter, God’s special gift to human beings, sets us apart from other creatures. Even laughing hyenas don’t really laugh. Because we are made in God’s image and likeness, it follows that God must have a sense of humor too! The fact that he created the platypus and two-year-olds proves it. In the Bible, God’s lighter side is revealed early on by the joke he played on Sarah, Abraham’s wife. When an angel foretold that this elderly couple would have a son, Sarah laughed at the news and became the unofficial patron saint of laughter. God had the last laugh, though, because Sarah did bear one-hundred-year-old Abraham a son (see Genesis 18:1-15; 21:1-7).

      Jesus, the God-man, had a funny bone like the rest of us. Perhaps he was familiar with the Jewish proverb, “What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.” Jesus conjures up ridiculous images: a camel trying to squeeze through the eye of a needle, a burning oil lamp placed under a bed, and a log in one’s eye. No doubt Jesus chuckled when he sent the fisherman Peter to fetch tax money in a fish and when he told about the persistent woman who threatened to give a judge a black eye. Jesus even stooped to making a pun, which is lost in translation. He spoke of straining out a gnat (galma) and swallowing a camel (gamla).

      Laughter has been called “the sound of the soul dancing” and “carbonated holiness.” It expresses inner joy, one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit; and, according to the Jesuit Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, joy is the most infallible sign of the presence of God.

      Laughter also has physical benefits. For good reasons it is known as the best (and cheapest) medicine.