Stop Checking Your Likes. Susie Moore

you’re just looking at the other person’s one-dimensional lunchbox! Yep — it’s just one or two things per person a lot of the time! For this person it might be her relationship, for that person, her income. For another, her long legs and cool accent. And it’s almost always on the side of what you do not have. And even when it does look awesome on the outside (like my cool pink lunchbox, the thought of which still tugs on my heart), what about the inside? Not always so awesome. You just don’t know.

      Another thing to consider is this. What good might there be in not having something you think you really want — at least in this moment?

      To continue with the lunchbox example:

      •I wasn’t a fat kid (those juice boxes and Cheez Doodles looked so appetizing, but they sure don’t help childhood obesity rates).

      •I always felt compassionate toward other kids who didn’t have much. This remains true for me as an adult, and I think it’s made me more generous.

      •I appreciate all nice food now. All of it. More than anything! (Contrast this to Heath, who went to an expensive private school and has a mom who is a brilliant cook, but is a very fussy eater!)

      Hey — an unimpressive lunch never killed anyone, either. My mom was certainly never apologetic about what she fed us each day, which oddly helped me and my sister feel better about it.

      Sometimes our lack seems so big in our heads that it consumes us. Appreciating our strengths really brings us back to a place of perspective — and relief. I remember one girl at school who was upset because my handwriting was “so much more like the teacher’s” than hers. Maybe that was her lunchbox perspective on me! (Hey, looking back, I totally should’ve traded handwriting lessons for a bag of Ruffles. You live and learn.)

      Do you need some critical perspective, too? If you’re eyeing what someone else has with a pang, then I’m telling you, you do. Because something serious is happening here. You’re not recognizing what’s within you.

      What I’ve Got

      Need help?

      Here’s how to get over coveting what others have and own what you’ve got:

      •Think: What am I fixating on in someone else? Be honest!

      •Consider: How much do I really know about this person? For example, are they in debt? (So many flashy-looking people are leasing BMWs and living in the red!) Do they struggle with food issues? Is there a fertility challenge in their lives?