Confessions of a Thug. Taylor Meadows

long watching! The old dog was as wary as a fox.'

      "'You may thank me,' said another, who had not as yet spoken: 'if I had not dogged him to the sugar-cane field, and found out his nearest way homewards, we might have had a long continuance of our fruitless watching, of which I was heartily tired. Come,' continued he, 'we must not stay, the country will be too hot to hold us. Madhoo will help us on to Nagpoor, and the sooner we get to him the better; the horses I know are all ready.'

      "I heard no more. I was sick and faint, and lay almost insensible for a long time: the pain of the wounds was horrible, and I writhed in torment; the night too, was dreadfully cold, and I became so stiff I could not move. I tried even to get as far as my poor father's body, which I could just see lying on its back; but motion was denied me. I lay and moaned bitterly. I heard the voices of persons not far off, and shouted as loud as I could, but they did not hear me. There were shots fired, as I afterwards heard, as signals to us; but I could not answer them: what could I do, lying as I did like a crushed reptile? My senses went and returned, as though I were dead, and again alive. Oh, my friends, how can I describe to you the misery of that night! At last I was roused out of a faint by some persons with a torch standing over me. I quickly recognized them as some of the labourers of the village; they had searched every lane, and at length found me. I knew not what they said or did; but they broke out into lamentations on seeing my father's body, and taking me up in a blanket they carried me to the village, and set me down at the door of my father's house: alas! his no longer.

      "My friends, all of you have seen the grief of women when death has come into the house and struck down a father, a brother, a son; all of you know how the shrieks and moans of women pierce into the heart, and turn men's livers into water. Till my father's body arrived there was no cry—no scream; my mother sat in a corner rocking herself to and fro, calling on my father's name in a low tone, and every now and then beating her breast; my sister attended to me, and moistened my mouth with water, as I still lay unable to speak, but fully aware of all that was going on around me. Some old women of the village sat near my mother, shivering in the cold wind which whistled through the house, and speaking among themselves in whispers. There was but a small lamp in a niche in the wall, which with its flickering light now revealed one group now another, causing the shadows of the whole to leap about, over—around—above me, until my disturbed brain fancied them a legion of devils sent to torment me before my time.

      "'Sister,' said I, 'call our mother to me, I am dying I think;' for at the moment I felt fainter than ever.

      "'No, no! you must not die; you must not leave us now,' said the affectionate girl; 'it is but a wound; the barber is coming, and will take out the ball; and a fomentation is being prepared by the hukeem: you will soon be well.'

      "As she spoke this, a sudden gleam of torches lighted up the whole space outside; and immediately after, four men bearing my poor father's body, walked slowly towards the house. I summoned energy enough to sit up, leaning against the wall, and the body was brought, all bloody as it was, and laid down. I should not say laid down, for as the men who carried it were preparing to let it down gently, one of the corners of the blanket slipped, and the corpse fell heavily to the ground, giving a horrid dull squelch, the sound of which thrilled through every nerve.

      "For an instant there was not a word spoken; but when the bloody features were exposed to view, the uproar was dreadful. Headed by my mother, all the old women rushed to the side of the body and began the most heart-rending shrieks; those who had carried it were also affected, and the cry reached to the outside, where the crowd assembled took it up, till the heavens were cracked with the noise of the lamentations. It was in vain that I endeavoured to make myself heard. But on a sudden the noise ceased, and silence was ordered by the Kazee of the village who entered. He cast a look on the dead body, and then asked for me. 'Who has done this?' said he; 'whom do you suspect? Tell us, by your soul tell us, ere it be too late to overtake them, whoever they may be.'

      "'Mahdoo, patel of Etare,' said I: 'but the villains have horses, they are gone ere this, there is no use sending.'

      "'Who have horses? who have gone, did you say?' cried he with impatience: 'rally for a time, and strive all you can to let us know how this was, how it happened.'

      "I had barely strength, but I gave a short relation of the whole.

      "'By Alla, it is the work of Mahdoo himself,' said one, 'and we will burn his village before the morning breaks.'

      "'It is the doing of Rheim Khan,' cried another.

      "Rheim Khan was my father's brother-in-law, and they had been at bitter enmity.

      "'Who takes the name of Rheim Khan?' cried my mother, 'may his tongue be blistered and rot in his mouth! May his end be like this!' pointing to the corpse; and again she resumed her howls and lamentations.

      "'Did you hear the woman?' said one fellow close to me; 'she would not curse at that rate if Rheim Khan was free from suspicion.'

      "'Silence!" said I, as loud as I could; 'I know who is the author of this, at least I have a right to have the strongest suspicions. Mahdoo Patel had no hand in it, he is a coward; Rheim Khan, though he hated the old man, could never have done or planned this; no, it is neither; it is one whom we poor people can never reach from his height of station, one whom the pleasure of Alla alone can bring down to the condition of him who is there; I mean Brij Lall, the accursed, the merciless.' I was exhausted with speaking, and sank down.

      "'Who spoke?' said my mother raising her head: 'I surely heard the voice of my son!'

      "'I am here, my mother,' said I; and she turned to me.

      "'Thou here! thou alive! Coward! hast thou come to me to see thy father a bloody corpse in his own house? Where wert thou that thou diedst not with him? Did I not caution thee never to leave the headstrong old man, who would persist in disregarding all advice, and in exposing himself at night?'

      "'I cannot answer thee now, my mother,' said I, 'but I was with him; see here, I fell also: though I did not die then, I feel that I shall do so soon.' I opened my vest and showed her the hole the ball had made, out of which a drop or two of black blood every now and then oozed; she looked at it, and threw herself at my feet.

      "'Thou art no coward!' she sobbed out, 'thou art no coward! thou hast bled in thy father's defence, and I can say nothing but that it is the will of Alla, and his fate. Who can avoid his destiny? But it is hard to lose both. Husband and son, husband and son, and I an old woman!'

      "And she went from me, and resumed her place at the side of the body.

      "One by one the neighbours left us; the name of Brij Lall had silenced every one; and in a very short time there remained only the watchers by the corpse, my sister, and myself. She was but a girl, my friends, but she watched by me and fomented my shoulder and leg with warm water, until the coagulated blood dissolved, and I was easier. How I wished for the light to be put out! but they would not hear of it. I have seen death in many, many forms since, but never have I seen anything that I could compare with my remembrance of my father's appearance. His features were pinched up, his lips drawn tightly across his mouth, showing his upper and under teeth; his eyes were wide open, for they could not be closed; and the flaring light, now rising now sinking, as it was agitated by the wind, caused an appearance as if of the features moving and gibbering, with that ghastly expression on them. I could not take my eyes off them, and lay gazing at them till the day broke.

      "The barber, who had been absent at a neighbouring village, soon afterwards arrived, and examined my wounds. One ball had entered my shoulder and had passed into my neck. He groped in the wound for some time with a pair of pincers, and, after putting me to horrible pain, succeeded in getting hold of it and drawing it out. I was then easier: the blood flowed copiously; the wound in the leg was only through the flesh, and having taken some opium I soon fell asleep, and awoke, though still in pain, yet easier than I had been.

      "My father had by this time been buried, and I was left with the consciousness of having one enemy, and one, too, who would not forego his revenge even to the son of his victim.

      "The old Kazee could recommend nothing, could suggest no measures to