Crazy Detective. Funny detective. StaVl Zosimov Premudroslovsky

and, like millions of depositors, was left with a donut hole. Having warmed up and suffered an extensive Myocardial infarction, she again began to save money for a trip to St. Petersburg and even in secret, disguised herself, collected empty bottles and cans at night in garbage barrels and along sidewalks. And now the long-awaited dream came true in ten years. She came to the capital city the hero of St. Petersburg. And, having found out in the inquiry office where the sought-after and long-awaited monument is located, she rushed with things on public transport with three transfers, why with transfers? It’s just that Moskvichka was sitting in the information desk, and Muscovites, unlike Pitertsev, loves to send the other way, like this time. Having reached five hours after the long-awaited place, she looked around and, finding nothing similar, decided to ask the nearby patrol officers who vigilantly looked out at the migrant migrant workers who were going to rip off the grandmothers from them:

      “Dear ones,” she called them, one of them responded and turned to her, “can you tell me where the monument to Gogol’s NOS is located?”

      – And here, – the employee twisted his head, – somewhere here. – and pointed to the bare wall and ofanarel: from the plaque there were only holes on the wall and an unstained stencil, the size of a stolen plate with a convex human nose. Granny died immediately due to a heart attack disorder. On this our transfer came to an end.

      All the best.

      Ottila drank another glass and went to sleep. In the darkness by the bed he undressed and climbed to overcome the side of his wife, who was snoring in a choke. She didn’t even move. When he climbed over his wife and was between the wall and his wife, he was stunned by snoring and the wind from the lips of the lovely half. Ottila took a deep breath of air and raised his upper chest, a little larger than his head, stuck his head in the back of his head to his wife’s sleepy plexus. He laid his ear on the lower one and covered the upper ear with his upper chest. The snoring disappeared, and he dozed off like a baby, in warmth and comfort.

      In the morning he woke up curled up on a pillow. There was no wife. He went to the washstand and, having washed himself, dressed up in full dress. He went to the door of the entrance to the Strongpoint, took the handle, and… The door opened from him in this situation and jerked, at the moment he pressed the door handle, dragging Ottila into the space of the Strongpoint, as if without a weighty air creature. He flew in and crashed into Mount Wife. The belly with breasts cushioned and threw the precinct back.

      – What are you? Izoldushka!? – He asked in surprise on the fly and after that he felt pain on the back of his head, hitting the floor.

      – Wipe your feet, I washed there. she barked and continued to mop the floor, bending in the lower back, back to him. The policeman went around her ass, wiped his legs, shod slippers with rabbit ears, and entered the office. The first thing he did, climbed into a chair, then walked to the phone on the table and pulled him to his edge. He picked up the phone, sat on the edge of the table and put it on his ear. He dialed the phone of his boss and, shaking his legs, waited, counting the beeps.

      – Ullah! – heard on the other side of the wire after the fiftieth tone.

      – Comrade Marshal? This is calling Mr. District General Klop.

      – Ahhhh… is that you? – Comrade Marshall was displeased, – how are things in a new place? You didn’t call for a long time, you began to forget who e… uh… um, feeds you.

      – No, what are you, Eximendius Janis oglu Snegiryov. There was simply no reason to disturb your elderly head off in vain.

      – Baska, you say, a dwarf?

      – Uh… no, sorry, head off.

      – Okay, let’s figure it out later, about the ethics of subordinates and owners. Well, what have you got, something important?

      – Yes!!!

      – What are you yelling, pygmy is not Russian?

      – Sorry, yeah.

      – Okay, we’ll also talk about the limits of the sound acceptable rate of telephone conversation, adopted in the first reading of the legislative assembly of Moscow and Russia.. And so, what about you, Sneak Bug? And come on fast, I’m late for the meeting.

      – Did you watch last night the next issue of the Call Center?

      – No, I have a DiViDishka. And what?

      – In St. Petersburg, a monument was stolen to the Nose.

      – So what?

      – I would like to investigate this case, if you will allow me, O Hon. Mr. Marshall.

      – What else nose, no one has reported to me, speak more clearly. Which monument had their nose cut off?

      – Well, with Gogol..

      – Gogol’s nose cut off?

      – No, Gogol has a story about FNL.

      – So what?

      – In honor of this story, a memorial plaque was erected in St. Petersburg and it was stolen. And I know roughly who did it.

      – Homeless or what? No one else. He’s copper. And what do you want from me?

      – Tackle this business, cartridge.

      – So get busy, what’s the matter? But only in your free time.

      – But I will need expenses, travel expenses, meals, hotel accommodation, taxi rides.

      – M-yes. It was necessary to begin with this. That’s just to get to St. Petersburg, you can also take the hare by train, the Bomzhovskoe affair, so the hotel has nothing to do with it. You can change it at the station or, at worst, at the homeless in the basement. With them you will devour. And in the city and on foot you can walk along with the sights of St. Petersburg. There is no money in the budget until I finish building the cottage. Well, do you understand me?

      – And from the cash desk of my Strongpoint? I picked a little here on fines from collective farmers.

      – And more?

      – Yes, that’s enough for the first time.

      – Okay. Take it from the account. If you solve the problem, I will repay the costs of sales receipts, but no?! It’s not for me to decide, because the money is public.

      – Good, Eximendius Janis oglu Snegiryov. Of course, I have little time, but I will come up with something. – Ottila put down the phone and lay contented on the table, arms extended.

      – Here it is, a new business! Now they will find out about me at Petrovka 38.

      The door creaked, and the immense dimensions of Isolde Fifovna, his main half, appeared.

      – Will you eat? – she asked meekly, – and don’t wallow on the table, I also wiped it.

      – I will have breakfast here!

      – What does it mean HERE? Am I like a waitress or something? Go to the kitchen and eat like everyone else. I will not carry.

      – I would love to, but Marshall should call me.

      – Marshal? I would say so. So, wait. The son will bring now what is left. And get off the table, Sherlock Holmes… Hahaha … – she laughed and went into the second half of the hut.

      The front street door creaked, and Corporal Incephalopath appeared in the doorway.

      – Can I have a cartridge?

      – Come in and sit down… We have a business… Tomorrow we are going to St. Petersburg. – Ottila got up, turned and sat in a chair.

      – What for?

      – The stolen monument to the nose of Gogol seek.

      – Aaaaa … – The encephalopath