NLP Workbook: A practical guide to achieving the results you want. Joseph O’Connor

AND UNCONSCIOUS MIND

       All change takes place first at the unconscious level.

       Then we become aware of it.

      NLP has a characteristic approach to the conscious and unconscious that is different from most other systems of psychology. In NLP ‘the conscious’ refers to everything that is in present moment awareness. We can hold about seven separate pieces of information consciously at any time. However, a lot depends on how we organize the information. A telephone number may consist of seven digits. You can memorize that as seven digits, but once you take it as a telephone number and remember it as one whole ‘chunk’, then you can store seven or so telephone numbers in your short-term memory.

      ‘The unconscious’ is used in NLP to indicate everything that is not conscious. So the unconscious is a ‘container’ for many different thoughts, feelings, emotions, resources and possibilities that you are not paying attention to at any given time. When you switch your attention, they will become conscious.

      Some beliefs and values remain unconscious but guide your life without you ever realizing how powerful they are. Some parts of your physiology will always remain unconscious – the carbon dioxide concentration in the blood, how your heart beats, what your liver is doing. The more important and life-sustaining the function, the more likely it is to be unconscious. It would be very awkward if you had to remember consciously to make your heart beat, regulate your digestion or make your bones regenerate.

      The conscious mind is like the rider of a horse, steering and guiding, setting outcomes and deciding directions. These then pass into the unconscious and we start to take actions to achieve them. The unconscious is like the horse that actually does the work in getting to where the rider wants. It is not a good idea to let the horse set the direction. Nor is it a good idea for the rider to try to tell the horse exactly where to put its feet at every stage of the journey. At best, conscious and unconscious form a balanced partnership.

      Everyone has all the resources they need to change, or they can create them. However, people often think they do not have the resources because they are not conscious of them in the particular context where they need them. But some neurophysiological research suggests that it is possible that every experience we ever have is stored somewhere and can be accessed under the right circumstances. We have all had the experience of long-forgotten events popping into our minds, triggered by some stray thought, and unconscious resources can be utilized by hypnotherapy and trance.

      Some systems of psychology (e.g. psychoanalysis) view the unconscious as a repository of repressed, disruptive material. NLP considers the unconscious to be benevolent – as it has all the experiences that we could use to gain wisdom.

      NLP has a healthy respect for the unconscious. The easiest place to start, however, is with the conscious – what we are aware of and how we direct our lives, formulating, understanding and achieving our outcomes.

      ACTION PLAN

       1 Pick one of the NLP presuppositions that appeals to you. Now think of a problem or difficult situation you have with another person. What would you do if you were to act as if that presupposition were true? How would the situation change?

       As a simple example, a friend of mine was part of a work project team. One member of the team was driving him crazy by continually voicing objections, getting into details too soon and wasting time (in my friend’s opinion). The presupposition that came to mind was that people work perfectly. His colleague had an excellent strategy for sorting and making sense of information, but he was applying it in the wrong place. Keeping the presupposition in mind helped my friend understand his colleague, be patient with him, keep rapport and help him to ask his questions in a different way at a different time, when they were extremely valuable.

       2 Now pick the presupposition that you have the greatest doubts about. Take another difficult situation in your life. What would you do if you acted as if that presupposition were true? How would the situation change?

       3 Watch the film The Matrix on video. If you have already seen it, watch it again. If you were the protagonist in the film, would you have taken the blue or the red pill? And how do you know you are not in a Matrix ‘for real’?

CHAPTER 2

      

OUTCOMES

What do you want? This is the definitive question in NLP. An outcome is what you want – a desired state, something you don’t have in your present state. Outcomes ‘come out’ when we achieve them, hence the name, and the first step towards achieving them is to think them through carefully. Why you want your outcome and whether you should want it are questions that need an answer. NLP outcomes are different from targets, goals and objectives because they have been carefully considered and meet certain conditions that make them realistic, motivating and achievable.

      By setting an outcome we become aware of the difference between what we have and what we want. This difference is the ‘problem’. When you have set an outcome and are clear about your desired state, then you can plan to make the journey from one to the other. You become proactive, take ownership of the problem and start to move towards a solution. When you do not know what you want, there are many people who are only too delighted to set you to work getting their outcomes.

      An outcome is not the same as a task. An outcome is what you want. A task is what you have to do to achieve it. Don’t do tasks until you set your outcomes.

       Problems cannot be solved unless you have an outcome.

      Change is a journey from an unsatisfactory present state towards a desired state – your outcome. You use various resources to help you make the journey.

       NLP basic change

      There are four basic questions you need to ask to make this journey successfully:

      

What am I moving towards? (The desired state or outcome)

      

Why am I moving? (The values that guide you)

      

How will I get there? (The strategy for the journey)

      

What if something goes wrong? (Risk management and contingency planning)

THINKING IN OUTCOMES

      There are two aspects to outcomes:

      

Outcome thinking – deciding what you want in a given situation.