Tantric Secrets: 7 Steps to the best sex of your life. Cassandra Lorius

The first step to disengaging from the ceaseless activity of your mind is to become a witness to the process.

       Let any thoughts that enter your mind come and go without captivating your interest. Don’t struggle to control your thoughts; the best way to deal with them is to keep bringing your awareness back to your breathing. Breathe in, feeling the air fill your chest, and push your abdomen gently outwards. Hold the breath without any tension in your body, and then gently release the air.

       You will notice how often your mind pulls away from focusing on a simple act with all sorts of distractions. Don’t try to control your mind. The art of meditation is in letting go of thoughts, rather than trying to force your mind to be somewhere. Just observe your thoughts.

      Meditation and sex

      Tantra provides the perfect method and the motivation for keeping you in the moment: sex. Sex is one of the few moments in everyday life when we are able to suspend our thoughts; this is the sort of thought-gap that we aim for in meditation.

      For most people sex provides one of the few peak experiences in life. Tantra holds that life can be like this all the time, if you learn to transform your consciousness. Life is really a vibrant, energizing, delicious stream of energy, if you can just let go of what you think life is all about and who you think you are. Letting go of preconceived ideas will automatically uncover a more authentic way of being.

       Meditate on your sexual energy

      After a relaxing bath, light a candle in front of a mirror. Gaze at your naked body in the mirror. Appreciate the beauty of your form. Then close your eyes and go inward.

       Enjoy the sensuality of your body. You are your sexuality.

       Let eroticism spread throughout your whole being. Draw your breath down into your pelvis, and then into your sexual organs. Sense them warm and alive, suffusing your body with sexual energy. Let a sensual glow radiate from your body.

       Enjoy being alive. Enjoy being sexy. Appreciate the sense of wellbeing that awakening your sexual nature allows you. Celebrate the presence of erotic energy – it is not only in you, it is all around you. Plug into it and let your erotic nature explode.

       Melt into sexual bliss.

      Get a sexual energy-body

      The sexual energy-body is part of the subtle body inside us that we can feel but not touch. The more you become aware of your own energy-body, the more you improve your wellbeing and enhance your sexual satisfaction. You also improve your ability to connect with your partner and sustain that connection. Working with Tantric techniques helps you to open your heart to more love, becoming more aware of the importance of love as well as the sacredness of life. One of the best byproducts of awakening your internal energy-body is achieving a state of dynamic meditation; this is when you feel vibrant, but amazingly relaxed.

      Body therapists have discovered that the movement of energy through the body clears physical tension produced by holding your body tight, and promotes healthy function. Therapists release this by encouraging physical movement and paying attention to the streaming of energy in the body. This is close to the way Tantra views the relationship between the subtle energy-body and our physical body. Your natural state of energy is one of constant flow.

       Feeling your unique energy-body

      This meditation helps you sense and connect with the vitality of your inner body of energy.

       Close your eyes to focus on sensing your body from within. Let your body revel in its vitality. Focus your awareness on your pelvis, feeling it radiating energy. Let the energy spread from your pelvis into your chest and heart area. Feel the energy in your head, arms and hands. Let the energy spread from your hips and buttocks down into your legs and feet.

       Relax into your body more deeply. Sense how this energy pervades your heart, your lungs, your muscles and every tissue of your body. Focus on the sensation inside your body.

       Feel that every cell of your body is full of vitality, vibrating with energy. Focus all your attention on this.

       Let go of the form of your body. Pay attention to the feel of this energy, visualizing the finely vibrating atoms and molecules. Feel how your body is made up of energy; you are just a small part of a vast energy field.

       Sense how the subtle energy field that makes up the universe permeates you. Let it course throughout your whole body.

       Awaken your inner fire

      This meditation helps you to connect with your natural erotic energy.

       Lie down comfortably, allowing your whole body to relax. Focus on your gentle breathing.

       Feel your sexual energy emanating from your pelvis. Sense it penetrating your whole body. Revel in the sensuality of your body.

       Imagine an intense, inner heat at the core of your being. Visualize this as red fire permeating your body. Let your sexual energy enliven you – don’t think, feel it: feel your sexual being. Embrace that sexual power.

      As you go about your daily life, allow this sexual energy to be in your awareness. Don’t cut off from it, judging it inappropriate, embarrassing or distracting. Sexuality is your true nature.

      Allow it to colour your interactions with warmth, passion and sexual presence.

      The chakra energy map

      The energy-body has been documented over thousands of years. The body’s energy system is considered to be a microcosm of the universe. In this model, there is usually a central conduit of energy from the base of the spine to the crown of the head, fed by two main channels on either side and a network of subsidiary arteries. Along the main channels are areas where the energy gathers and seems particularly intense. These are described as chakras, or wheels of energy. There are seven principle chakras, and myriad minor chakra points.

       At the crown of the head is the seventh chakra, where mind and body, heart and soul are unified. Tantric practitioners describe this unification symbolically as the lovemaking of the divine goddess and her consort, whose sexual satisfaction creates a cosmic state of bliss and connectedness.

      Give yourself pleasure

      Sensual pleasure is vital for your wellbeing. It nurtures your body and opens you to sexual experience, enhancing your life. You need pleasure as an affirmation of your right to happiness and joy. Touch and nurturing are healing. The need for touch is crucial for survival and development – so touch yourself.

      You need pleasure in your life, so learn to prioritize pleasure. Think about what gives you pleasure; you might want to write down all the things you enjoy doing, and then think about how much (or how little) time you actually spend doing those things.

      It’s important to make more time for yourself. You can nourish yourself and your loved ones with touch, with food, with sleep, with sex. By focusing more on the sensual pleasure provided through sensory contact, you will get more from it. Demonstrating your love and affection creates an atmosphere of love, which nourishes you too. Being demonstrative affirms your own positive feelings.

       Sensuous touch

      Touch is a vital means of opening to pleasure. Through touch, you can reacquaint your body with subtle sensation. Slow and gentle touch allows you to relax into the sensation more fully. Touch each other gracefully, with gentleness. Have a session in which you spend time exploring the surfaces of each other’s body, enjoying