The Eleven Comedies, Volume 1. Аристофан

Who are you then? Can you be of the race of Harmodius?89 Upon my faith, 'tis nobly done and like a true friend of Demos.

      CLEON. Petty flattery to prove him your goodwill!

      SAUSAGE-SELLER. But you have caught him with even smaller baits!

      CLEON. Never had Demos a defender or a friend more devoted than myself; on my head, on my life, I swear it!

      SAUSAGE-SELLER. You pretend to love him and for eight years you have seen him housed in casks, in crevices and dovecots,90 where he is blinded with the smoke, and you lock him in without pity; Archeptolemus brought peace and you tore it to ribbons; the envoys who come to propose a truce you drive from the city with kicks in their backsides.

      CLEON. This is that Demos may rule over all the Greeks; for the oracles predict that, if he is patient, he must one day sit as judge in Arcadia at five obols per day. Meanwhile, I will nourish him, look after him and, above all, I will ensure to him his three obols.

      SAUSAGE-SELLER. No, little you care for his reigning in Arcadia, 'tis to pillage and impose on the allies at will that you reckon; you wish the War to conceal your rogueries as in a mist, that Demos may see nothing of them, and harassed by cares, may only depend on yourself for his bread. But if ever peace is restored to him, if ever he returns to his lands to comfort himself once more with good cakes, to greet his cherished olives, he will know the blessings you have kept him out of, even though paying him a salary; and, filled with hatred and rage, he will rise, burning with desire to vote against you. You know this only too well; 'tis for this you rock him to sleep with your lies.

      CLEON. Is it not shameful, that you should dare thus to calumniate me before Demos, me, to whom Athens, I swear it by Demeter, already owes more than it ever did to Themistocles?

      SAUSAGE-SELLER. Oh! citizens of Argos, do you hear what he says?91 You dare to compare yourself to Themistocles, who found our city half empty and left it full to overflowing, who one day gave us the Piraeus for dinner,92 and added fresh fish to all our usual meals.93 You, on the contrary, you, who compare yourself with Themistocles, have only sought to reduce our city in size, to shut it within its walls, to chant oracles to us. And Themistocles goes into exile, while you gorge yourself on the most excellent fare.

      CLEON. Oh! Demos! Am I compelled to hear myself thus abused, and merely because I love you?

      DEMOS. Silence! stop your abuse! All too long have I been your tool.

      SAUSAGE-SELLER. Ah! my dear little Demos, he is a rogue, who has played you many a scurvy trick; when your back is turned, he taps at the root the lawsuits initiated by the peculators, swallows the proceeds wholesale and helps himself with both hands from the public funds.

      CLEON. Tremble, knave; I will convict you of having stolen thirty thousand drachmae.

      SAUSAGE-SELLER. For a rascal of your kidney, you shout rarely! Well! I am ready to die if I do not prove that you have accepted more than forty minae from the Mitylenaeans.94

      CHORUS. This indeed may be termed talking. Oh, benefactor of the human race, proceed and you will be the most illustrious of the Greeks. You alone shall have sway in Athens, the allies will obey you, and, trident in hand, you will go about shaking and overturning everything to enrich yourself. But, stick to your man, let him not go; with lungs like yours you will soon have him finished.

      CLEON. No, my brave friends, no, you are running too fast; I have done a sufficiently brilliant deed to shut the mouth of all enemies, so long as one of the bucklers of Pylos remains.

      SAUSAGE-SELLER. Of the bucklers! Hold! I stop you there and I hold you fast. For if it be true, that you love the people, you would not allow these to be hung up with their rings;95 but 'tis with an intent you have done this. Demos, take knowledge of his guilty purpose; in this way you no longer can punish him at your pleasure. Note the swarm of young tanners, who really surround him, and close to them the sellers of honey and cheese; all these are at one with him. Very well! you have but to frown, to speak of ostracism and they will rush at night to these bucklers, take them down and seize our granaries.

      DEMOS. Great gods! what! the bucklers retain their rings! Scoundrel! ah! too long have you had me for your tool, cheated and played with me!

      CLEON. But, dear sir, never you believe all he tells you. Oh! never will you find a more devoted friend than me; unaided, I have known how to put down the conspiracies; nothing that is a-hatching in the city escapes me, and I hasten to proclaim it loudly.

      SAUSAGE-SELLER. You are like the fishers for eels; in still waters they catch nothing, but if they thoroughly stir up the slime, their fishing is good; in the same way 'tis only in troublous times that you line your pockets. But come, tell me, you, who sell so many skins, have you ever made him a present of a pair of soles for his slippers? and you pretend to love him!

      DEMOS. No, he has never given me any.

      SAUSAGE-SELLER. That alone shows up the man; but I, I have bought you this pair of shoes; accept them.

      DEMOS. None ever, to my knowledge, has merited so much from the people; you are the most zealous of all men for your country and for my toes.

      CLEON. Can a wretched pair of slippers make you forget all that you owe me? Is it not I who curbed Gryttus,96 the filthiest of the lewd, by depriving him of his citizen rights?

      SAUSAGE-SELLER. Ah! noble inspector of back passages, let me congratulate you. Moreover, if you set yourself against this form of lewdness, this pederasty, 'twas for sheer jealousy, knowing it to be the school for orators.97 But you see this poor Demos without a cloak and that at his age too! so little do you care for him, that in mid-winter you have not given him a garment with sleeves. Here, Demos, here is one, take it!

      DEMOS. This even Themistocles never thought of; the Piraeus was no doubt a happy idea, but meseems this tunic is quite as fine an invention.

      CLEON. Must you have recourse to such jackanapes' tricks to supplant me?

      SAUSAGE-SELLER. No, 'tis your own tricks that I am borrowing, just as a guest, driven by urgent need, seizes some other man's shoes.98

      CLEON. Oh! you shall not outdo me in flattery! I am going to hand Demos this garment; all that remains to you, you rogue, is to go and hang yourself.

      DEMOS. Faugh! may the plague seize you! You stink of leather horribly.99

      SAUSAGE-SELLER. Why, 'tis to smother you that he has thrown this cloak around you on top of the other; and it is not the first plot he has planned against you. Do you remember the time when silphium100 was so cheap?

      DEMOS. Aye, to be sure I do!

      SAUSAGE-SELLER. Very well! it was Cleon who had caused the price to fall so low so that all could eat it and the jurymen in the Courts were almost poisoned with farting in each others' faces.

      DEMOS. Hah! why, indeed, a scavenger told me the same thing.

      SAUSAGE-SELLER. Were you not yourself in those days quite red in the gills with farting?

      DEMOS. Why, 'twas a trick worthy of Pyrrandrus!101

      CLEON. With what other idle trash will you seek to ruin me, you wretch!

      SAUSAGE-SELLER. Oh! I shall be more brazen than you, for 'tis the goddess who has commanded me.102

      CLEON. No, on my honour, you will not! Here, Demos, feast on this dish; it is your salary as a dicast, which you gain through me for doing naught.

      SAUSAGE-SELLER.

89

Assassin of the tyrant Hippias, the son of Pisistratus. His memory was held in great honour at Athens.

90

Driven out by the invasions of the Peloponnesians, the people of the outlying districts had been obliged to seek refuge within the walls of Athens, where they were lodged wherever they could find room.

91

A verse borrowed from Euripides' lost play of 'Telephus.'

92

Themistocles joined the Piraeus to Athens by the construction of the Long Walls.

93

Which were caught off the Piraeus.

94

Mitylené, chief city of the Island of Lesbos, rebelled against the Athenians and was retaken by Chares. By a popular decree the whole manhood of the town was to suffer death, but this decree was withdrawn the next day. Aristophanes insinuates that Cleon, bought over with Mitylenaean gold, brought about this change of opinion. On the contrary, Thucydides says that the decree was revoked in spite of Cleon's opposition.

95

When bucklers were hung up as trophies, it was usual to detach the ring or brace, so as to render them useless for warlike purposes.

96

An orator of debauched habits.

97

An accusation frequently hurled at the orators.

98

Guests took off their shoes before entering the festal hall.

99

An allusion to Cleon's former calling of a tanner.

100

A plant from Cyrenaďca, which was imported into Athens in large quantities after the conclusion of a treaty of navigation, which Cleon made with this country. It was a very highly valued flavouring for sauces.

101

The name of a supposed informer. The adjective, [Greek: pyrrhos], yellow, the colour of ordure, is contained in the construction of this name; thus a most disgusting piece of word-play is intended.

102

The orators were for ever claiming the protection of Athené.