Dancing on Coffins. Black comedy. Yan Bratovich

written. Something does not suffice. Let’s sit down and flesh this out.

      Hitch gives Hoffman his usual seat. Hoffman reflects for a moment and quickly writes something.

      HAROLD HOFFMAN

      Hazone, Read this.

      He hands Hazone the paper. Hazone reads it and laughs.

      HITCH

      Let me read it!

      Hitch takes the paper and reads Hoffman’s slogan. Hitch laughs like a madman.

      HITCH

      Hary, it’s absolutely crazy, man!

      They laugh so hard they grab at this stomachs.

      HAROLD HOFFMAN

      It’s sharp! Coffins at a funeral will be like champagne on New Years Eve. Before you know it, the whole city will see the slogan!

      HITCH

      But the joke can be bad for us too.

      HAROLD HOFFMAN

      We’re not breaking any laws sonny. We have the right to advertise the way we see fit for our organization.

      HITCH

      I don’t know, I just don’t know.

      HAROLD HOFFMAN

      Don’t you worry about it, it’ll fall on me and I’ll take care of it. Now that we have that out of the way, let’s get out of here.

      HITCH

      And go where?

      HAROLD HOFFMAN

      (smiling)

      Let’s have a good time.

      EXT. MINNEAPOLIS – SM “MALL OF AMERICA” – THE LATE EVENING

      Tired Julia Shweetner leaves the centre. Loud music and a voice over the PA system is heard in the background. We see Christian’s car parked outside. Julia walks up to it. Christian exits the car and their eyes meet.

      CHRISTIAN

      Hi darling. Tired?

      They kiss.

      JULIA SHWEETNER

      I already can’t feel my feet.

      CHRISTIAN

      Well, it was interesting?

      JULIA SHWEETNER

      Yes. There were so many celebrities!

      CHRISTIAN

      Well, sit down in the car. Have a rest.

      They get into the car.

      INT. CHRISTIAN’S CAR – NIGHT

      They are driving along. Julia yawns and stretches.

      JULIA SHWEETNER

      I feel like the happiest woman in the world. I can’t wait to be back to the quiet life and half way out of the city.

      CHRISTIAN

      It’ll be nice to have you back here when you’re free from your infinite amounts of work.

      JULIA SHWEETNER

      Everyone’s eyes were shinning at the mall today, everyone there was so happy. It was really something to see.

      CHRISTIAN

      One very smart man has once told me: “To find the meaning of the life – is to find happiness, and to find happiness – is exactly the meaning of the life”.

      Julia smiles.

      JULIA SHWEETNER

      I simply adore you.

      Julia kisses Christian, passionately drawing herself to his neck.

      CHRISTIAN

      We need to talk in the bedroom…

      JULIA SHWEETNER

      (Smiling)

      Oh, Christian…

      EXT. MINNEAPOLIS – THE SUPERMARKET – NIGHT

      Hoffman and his gang get out of the jeep and walk toward the supermarket. The shop is closed. Nearby, in the dark, we see two guys discussing something.

      HAROLD HOFFMAN

      Hazone! Shut these guys up, they’re preventing me from thinking!

      Hazone runs up to guys and strikes them with a shovel. They fall on the asphalt and lose consciousness.

      HAROLD HOFFMAN

      Now let’s get back to our plans. What do people need to survive with? Food, health treatments, entertainment… let’s start by depriving people with food! Let’s go Silly!

      Humpbacked Silly quickly takes out four canisters of gasoline from the car, and a bottle of incendiary mix and six bricks.

      HAROLD HOFFMAN

      Let’s do this quickly. Break the windows, pour the gasoline, and set it on fire and get the hell out of here. Ready?

      Hitch, Silly and Hazone nod.

      HAROLD HOFFMAN

      Let’s force them into hunger! Let’s bring them to a life of ruin and hopelessness. No life, no light, no hope, only thoughts of death.

      They quickly throw bricks into the show windows and pour the gasoline inside. In the supermarket, a flame flashes. They run away before it blows up.

      HAROLD HOFFMAN

      (Squeaky)

      In the winter the sure way to be warmed up is to add spark!

      The building sets on fire and blazes all around, a bright orange light can be seen from the skyline. They laugh and whistle.

      HITCH

      Holy shit!

      HAROLD HOFFMAN

      Having fun gentleman?!

      HAZONE

      How come we haven’t done this earlier?

      HITCH

      This is crazy fun!

      HAROLD HOFFMAN

      Let’s go boys! Get back in the car, we have more shops to burn!

      HITCH

      This is better than a holiday Harry!

      HAZONE

      Hell yeah!

      Hitch and Hazone laugh joyfully as they look at a fire, like children watching fireworks for the first time.

      HAROLD HOFFMAN

      Hurry up boys!

      INT. CHRISTIAN’S CAR – NIGHT

      Christian and Julia driving along at a great speed, as they catch the fire ravaging through the supermarket at the corner of their eyes.

      JULIA SHWEETNER

      Oh my God! Did you see that?! What’s happening?

      CHRISTIAN

      I don’t know. Let’s go see.

      Christian slows down and drives toward the incident.

      EXT. MINNEAPOLIS – SUPERMARKET – NIGHT

      Julia