The Complete Works of Shakespeare. William Shakespeare

a [thousand] marks in gold:

      “’Tis dinner-time,” quoth I: “My gold!” quoth he.

      “Your meat doth burn,” quoth I: “My gold!” quoth he.

      “Will you come?” quoth I: “My gold!” quoth he;

      “Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, villain?”

      “The pig,” quoth I, “is burn’d”: “My gold!” quoth he.

      “My mistress, sir,” quoth I: “Hang up thy mistress!

      I know not thy mistress, out on thy mistress!”

       Luc.

      Quoth who?

       E. Dro.

      Quoth my master.

      “I know,” quoth he, “no house, no wife, no mistress.”

      So that my arrant, due unto my tongue,

      I thank him, I bare home upon my shoulders:

      For, in conclusion, he did beat me there.

       Adr.

      Go back again, thou slave, and fetch him home.

       E. Dro.

      Go back again, and be new beaten home?

      For God’s sake send some other messenger.

       Adr.

      Back, slave, or I will break thy pate across.

       E. Dro.

      And he will bless that cross with other beating:

      Between you I shall have a holy head.

       Adr.

      Hence, prating peasant! fetch thy master home.

       E. Dro.

      Am I so round with you, as you with me,

      That like a football you do spurn me thus?

      You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me hither:

      If I last in this service, you must case me in leather.

       Exit.

       Luc.

      Fie, how impatience low’reth in your face!

       Adr.

      His company must do his minions grace,

      Whilst I at home starve for a merry look:

      Hath homely age th’ alluring beauty took

      From my poor cheek? Then he hath wasted it.

      Are my discourses dull? Barren my wit?

      If voluble and sharp discourse be marr’d,

      Unkindness blunts it more than marble hard.

      Do their gay vestments his affections bait?

      That’s not my fault, he’s master of my state.

      What ruins are in me that can be found,

      By him not ruin’d? Then is he the ground

      Of my defeatures. My decayed fair

      A sunny look of his would soon repair.

      But, too unruly deer, he breaks the pale,

      And feeds from home; poor I am but his stale.

       Luc.

      Self-harming jealousy—fie, beat it hence!

       Adr.

      Unfeeling fools can with such wrongs dispense:

      I know his eye doth homage otherwhere,

      Or else what lets it but he would be here?

      Sister, you know he promis’d me a chain;

      Would that alone a’ love he would detain,

      So he would keep fair quarter with his bed!

      I see the jewel best enamelled

      Will lose his beauty; yet the gold bides still

      That others touch and, often touching, will

      Where gold; and no man that hath a name

      By falsehood and corruption doth it shame.

      Since that my beauty cannot please his eye,

      I’ll weep what’s left away, and weeping die.

       Luc.

      How many fond fools serve mad jealousy?

       Exeunt.

       ¶

[Scene II]

       Enter Antipholus Erotes [of Syracuse].

       S. Ant.

      The gold I gave to Dromio is laid up

      Safe at the Centaur, and the heedful slave

      Is wand’red forth, in care to seek me out.

      By computation and mine host’s report,

      I could not speak with Dromio since at first

      I sent him from the mart! See, here he comes.

       Enter Dromio [of] Syracusa.

      How now, sir, is your merry humor alter’d?

      As you love strokes, so jest with me again.

      You know no Centaur? You receiv’d no gold?

      Your mistress sent to have me home to dinner?

      My house was at the Phoenix? Wast thou mad,

      That thus so madly thou didst answer me?

       S. Dro.

      What answer, sir? when spake I such a word?

       S. Ant.

      Even now, even here, not half an hour since.

       S. Dro.

      I did not see you since you sent me hence

      Home to the Centaur with the gold you gave me.

       S. Ant.

      Villain, thou didst deny the gold’s receipt,

      And toldst me of a mistress, and a dinner,

      For which I hope thou feltst I was displeas’d.

       S. Dro.

      I am glad to see you in this merry vein.

      What means this jest? I pray you, master, tell me.

       S. Ant.

      Yea, dost thou jeer and flout me in the teeth?

      Think’st thou I jest? Hold, take thou that, and that.

       Beats Dromio.

       S. Dro.

      Hold, sir, for God’s sake! Now your jest is earnest,

      Upon what bargain do you give it me?

       S. Ant.

      Because