Time & Money. Sonja Becker

bigotry. People who hate because of race or religion find it extremely hard to let go of feelings they have most likely shared with family members and friends since childhood.

      Ego values exist more on the surface. On top of our core and personality values, we carry superficial values related to style or preference. These are shallow social values learned from peers. If a persona is the mask we wear in society, ego is the makeup. It exists in the way we use words to make ourselves seem important. These are childish values that give way to reason. You can change them easily if you are willing to endure the embarrassment of seeing yourself as others see you.

      Ego values are related to false pride. Some of them are fun: Who doesn’t enjoy dressing up and going out with friends? And don’t we all love to tell stories that make us look good? Other ego values present galling limitations. The ego wants to exclude people who are different. That kind of thinking can damage one’s career.

      BIRDS OF A FEATHER

      We are attracted to other people who share our values. Wealthy people make friends with other wealthy people. Prosperity begins with an appreciation for money and the things it can buy. People who share that value are attracted by superior products. They dress alike and live in similar homes.

      Entrepreneurs share certain values that are recognized and appreciated by other free agents. They tend to be thrifty and generous at the same time. They keep expenses low, yet they reward performance generously. We have heard reports from entrepreneurs about the difficulty of hiring corporate people. It seems that big company folks have a habit of busting small business budgets with high priced meeting rooms and marketing schemes that bring no clear return on investment. Reality-based values are the difference between survival and disaster for entrepreneurs.

      When you build the web of connections that will determine your future, look for people who have the values you desire to have for yourself. Values determine compatibility. If yours don’t match up with those of potential partners, you won’t get along for very long.

      To attract compatible people, communicate what is important to you. Declare aloud the values that bring you fulfillment. Let everyone know where you stand, or risk unconsciously deceiving other people. You can’t build a successful business or a happy life with people who don’t share your values.

      Beware of self-deception and double binds. Imagine, for instance, a father whose most important value is his family. He wants to provide for them and works long hours to do so. But at the end of the work day, he is too tired to spend time with them. If you understand your priorities clearly, you can begin to design a lifestyle that protects what is really meaningful.

      Most people’s careers begin with an accident and unfold as a tragedy. You may have taken a test and scored high in a certain area, so your guidance counselor designed your education to follow that tendency. Or perhaps your parents wanted you to be something they, not you, could be proud of. On every step along the way, someone else was making a design for you. When you finally arrived at your career, it may not have been the one you would have chosen. If so you must assess your values all over again.

      It takes courage to declare what matters most to you. People close to you may be shocked when you affirm your values. But when this piece is in place, your dream has begun. You have established roots.

      UNIVERSAL VALUES

      The values of business have evolved over centuries through tribes and villages in bazaars and marketplaces. Over the centuries we have learned how to understand the needs of others.

      The first two needs that must be fulfilled in business are trust and pleasure. Before people spend money, they must first have trust. Earning the trust of your customers and associates is the first order of business for an entrepreneur. Honesty is the foundation of integrity. Business systems based on corruption eventually fall.

      The golden rule is your best counsel. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Treating other people the way you want to be treated isn’t just a good philosophy; it’s good business.

      Work with honest associates. Finally, you will be judged by the company you keep. How people perceive you and your team determines whether or not they will use your product or service.

      Price also sets the tone for the value of your product. While the lowest economic rung of society spends their money based on the price of the product alone, the wealthier portion of society is developing a more sophisticated set of values: they are attracted by quality, and they are willing to pay for it.

      Once trust is established, people need pleasure. Babies that are untouched as infants grow slower and suffer more illness than those that are held and caressed. People require sensory gratification. After survival needs are fulfilled, recreation needs take precedence. Perhaps that is why the most important U.S. export is films. Entertainment is good for the soul.

      Values actually stem from physiological sensations. Our bodies crave pleasure. We want to play and be happy. We perform best when we achieve a complete emotional release that enables us to perform on the stage of life with abandon.

      HIGHER VALUES

      The new service economy is based on entrepreneurs who spend most of their waking hours trying to figure out better ways to serve consumers. This application of human inventiveness is changing society for the better. Our culture is less focused on exploitation of people and more focused on serving them. Rather than trying to win at the expense of others, we are learning to create greater value for one another. The changes in business reflect a new maturity.

      In this positive new environment, we strive for perfection. We expect exquisite service. Poor service still occurs, but now we can make a distinction when it works and when it doesn’t. Humanity is achieving a new standard of excellence.

      These new standards lift us up. Higher values offer a defense against our own deterioration and mortality. They lend greater dignity to our existence. By discovering your own values, you gain perspective on what service or product you can provide. Digging beneath the mind chatter and getting down to what really matters in your world requires asking yourself some tough questions.

      What matters for humanity? What contribution can you make with your life? How do you feel about dying? Do you have a specific fear regarding death? What do you resist about dying? Is there anything you would give up your life for? Addressing these questions is vital, because having something worth dying for means having something worth living for. What matters enough to you that you would commit your entire life to it? How can you organize a business around something that matters that much to you?

      Use these questions to create new possibilities. If you had only a year to live, what would you do with your remaining months? How would you spend your time? What would take priority? What if you were given only a month to live? If you were certain you had only thirty days left, where would you direct your attention? How many days would you schedule for self-pity?

      And what if you had only a day or one hour, what would take priority? How you answer these questions is the beginning of a lifelong search for determining your own values. Effective living requires an exploration of your relationship with your own mortality.

      There are absolute values coded into your body type and cultural patterns. The more closely you conform to your ideal values, the more alive you will feel. Your perceived value to other people can be measured by accounting for the vitality you experience in your body and by the physical energy you generate in your employees and clients.

      When you live according to your highest values, you achieve fearlessness. You may still feel moments of anxiety, but you stare them down. You experience a release from your mental arguments and conflicts. A larger perspective begins to soothe the savage within.

      MISSION

      According to Albert Schweitzer, those who find happiness are those who have a sufficient purpose. When you distill your values into a challenging purpose, your mission appears.

      Before you can hit a target, you need a clear aim. Your mission is a life game that attracts like-minded people to participate in fulfilling your values.