It's Time to Talk about Race at Work. Kelly McDonald

I got you.” Thank you for always being there for me, no matter how much time has passed between our talks. And to Joe Martin and Jake Martin, my “other family members”: I love you.

      To my siblings, Randi and Mike, for the meaningful reconnection and support and gift of real family.

To Randy Pierce, my friend and my coach, for teaching me so much more than boxing. I cherish our conversations, your insights, and your humor. You have the ability to make me laugh harder than I thought I could, and you've changed my life in more ways than you'll ever know.

      To Kenja Purkey, for getting this topic and getting me in general. For taking my calls whenever. For never, ever losing your sense of humor, even when you're juggling more than anyone else I know. #RighteousKenja

      To Bill Sandberg: You're a great boxing partner and friend and I'll spar with you anytime. Glove up and I'll see you in the ring!

      To Sally Shoquist, for the laughs and rants—and then more laughs. I feel better after every call with you and after every one of your amazing salads. Looking forward to sitting on your deck with you on more sunny afternoons.

      To Robert Swafford: Without you, I wouldn't have the circle of friends I have. Thanks for always being there for me and for being the head of the octopus in our group.

      To Lynne Swihart: Your friendship, snark, and wit are the gas in my tank. Here's to the next decade of our close friendship and escapades.

      To my clients, who became my friends. You have cheered me on, encouraged me and you're the reason I do what I do. Special shout- outs to Joe Aldez, Ron Arrigo, Steven Braybrook, Susan Freibrun and the entire staff of MHEDA, Erika Goode, Cris Hay-Merchant, Jeff Hurt, Bill Lewis, Lynne Marchese, Kathleen Overlin, Liz Richards, Vince Rodriguez, Chuck Rusch, Bill Rutherford, Team Zebra, Brett Vanderkolk, Liz Walz, Lola Woloch, and Terry Young.

      And to every reader of this book: You know why this topic matters and why it matters now. I may never know you, but I know your intentions. You make a difference. Thank you.

Special Acknowledgments

      When I started writing this book, I needed perspective, expertise, and insights from people who are professionally immersed in diversity, equity, and inclusion. DE&I is a critically important topic—and a sensitive one. I needed expert help to create a realistic path of progress that anyone, at any size organization, could follow. Not every business has a Diversity Department or even an HR professional. Small business owners need realistic and actionable tactics that don't cost a million dollars or take a year to get off the ground. I needed the help of people who understood exactly what readers of this book want and need, and I reached out to Liliana Ramírez, Joy Pierce, and David Phillips.

      Many, many people contributed to making this book come to life, but these experts shared their wisdom, experiences, approaches, findings, and advice, freely and generously. Each heads up a business or department, so they have their own demanding, full-time roles, yet they made time for this book. Their commitment and dedication to this book cannot be overstated. I am deeply grateful to them and wish to acknowledge their significant contributions:

To Liliana Ramírez, for your tireless efforts, over months, and your commitment to helping businesspeople develop effective and realistic diversity programs. For nearly two decades, I've been in awe of your work, your humor, your patience, the way your mind works, and your ability to always see the path forward, no matter how complicated or unclear. Without your research, this book would not exist. Without your insights, our readers would not have a usable framework for talking about race at work. Your time, dedication, and focus ensured we met every deadline, took care of every client and every project, and created a book we both believe in. I'll never be able to fully express my gratitude.

      To Joy Pierce, for your vast and important contributions to this book. Your examples, suggested approaches, candor, insights, and complete willingness to help me when you didn't even know me speaks to your generous heart and desire to create change. Our first phone call lasted three hours and we both know it could have gone on forever. You took every call from me, regardless of whether it was day or night, and responded to every text and query to keep me moving and on track to meet my deadlines. You started off as a valued resource, but you became my friend. You're stuck with me now.

      To David Phillips, for your insights, anecdotes, experience, proven techniques, and recommendations on how to talk about difficult topics in productive and constructive ways. You made this book a priority and your contributions are matched only by your passion and commitment to a better world for everyone.

      Liliana Ramírez

      President, LunaNova Marketing—Diversity and Communications Strategy for the World

      Joy Pierce, Ph.D.

      Associate Professor, University of Utah

      David deBardelaben- Phillips

      Founder and President

      Energetic Awakenings

PART I If You're Not Racist, What's the Problem? The Biggest Mistakes People (and Businesses) Make

CHAPTER 1 This Book Is for Everyone, but Especially White Readers

The topic of race and diversity at work is a BIG DEAL—every aspect of it: building a more diverse team, making your business more inclusive, recruiting diverse new talent, rethinking business practices to make them more equitable, and more. And yet it's hard to talk about. Much of the language of diversity and the very concepts that create problems around diversity, such as systemic racism and White privilege, seem to have been adopted by the progressive left and that's a turn-off to people on the right.

      As you read this book, you may disagree with many phrases and concepts. You may have “diversity fatigue.” You may roll your eyes at the concept of inequity. Even if you disagree with the language or concepts, I know you'll be on board with how diversity can help grow your business: better employee talent, greater levels of retention and engagement, more innovation, better customer experiences, higher satisfaction levels, and greater sales and profits—that's language that everyone likes.

      But here's some real talk: Most White people would rather not go there. They'd rather not talk about race and diversity because it's scary, exhausting, overwhelming, and “a pain to deal with.” It's easy to say the wrong thing and face criticism. And at some organizations, diversity training feels more like “shame and blame” than skills building. Of course, the situation for many people of color is worse—they are missing out on opportunities for networking, jobs, promotions, and income because Whites are reluctant to talk about and address race and diversity issues.

On top of that, diversity has now become a major political hot potato. Much of the world is deeply divided on the issue of race, and it is extremely difficult to say anything without alienating half the population. We've lost our way when it comes to having sensible, constructive conversations about race. That's exactly what I am trying to do in this book: provide realistic, doable, productive tools and insights that will help you have the conversations you may not really want to have—or that you have no idea how to have. It's about skills, not holding hands and singing “Kumbaya.”

      If you're on the left, you might criticize this book for not taking more of an activist view and for speaking and writing as bluntly as I do. If you're on the right, you might criticize this book because you believe that systemic racism is overblown, that it is just a new trendy buzzword