War/Peace. Matthew Vandenberg

Shelly says.

      'Life should be a MardiGras,' Shaun says.

      Kssssssssssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

      'Shit!' I say. 'Did you hear that?' I race to one of the windows.

      'What is it?' Chloe asks.

      'That was an explosion,' Adrian says.

      'They're dropping bombs,' I say. 'And it looks like a fuckin' American plane.'

      'We're on their side,' Adrian says.

      'We're in the south-side, idiot,' I say.

      'We're on national fuckin' TV in the States!' Chloe yells. 'Don't they realize there's a safe-house here?'

      'They're bound to now,' Shaun mutters. He points at one of the cameras. 'You guys is all watchin' us, right. You tell your fuckin' government that we don't want no bombs being dropped on us.'

      'Or on the south-side,' Shelly says. 'My family's out there.'

      'Or on the south-side,' Shaun repeats.

      'Everyone remain calm,' Big Brother says.

      I look a the phone, lying on the floor.

      'We're in a fuckin' war zone, aren't we?' Chloe asks.

      'This is a bunker,' Big Brother continues. 'You know this. Inside you are safe.'

      'What about our families?' Jerri asks. 'I had no idea bombs were gonna be dropped. This is fuckin' crazy.'

      'The American public is watching you,' Big Brother says. 'They're watching the people inside this house and the people inside the safe-houses all throughout the south. They saw the bomb fall just now. They saw it through your eyes. They will understand. It is now your job to invite more people into the house. In the master bedroom you will find a loudspeaker. In the center of this room, as I am sure you have noticed, is a spiral staircase leading to a sunroof. Open this, climb out, and you are on the roof of the bunker. This is your stage. You can now perform. Choose your speaker and break a leg.'

      'That's our next challenge?' Shaun asks. 'Aren't we cookin' dinner?'

      'There are bombs falling all around us!' Shelly says. 'You're thinking about dinner?!'

      'One bomb fell,' Jackson says. 'It'll be ok, Shell. Look, everyone: this is Mecca, right? We can promote this place. We're inside the Kaaba. It's the Batu caves, or the Gombak River, or the Ganges in Haridwar, India if you're a Hindu; it's Ol Doinyo Lengai if you're from Tanzania; we're inside the cliff below Myanmar's Golden Rock if you're a Buddhist . . .'

      'But . . .' Shelly says.

      'This is St. Peter's Basilica in the Vatican if you're a Catholic,' Adrian says. 'Or the Jordan River. Or the Sea of Galilee, known as Yam Kinneret if you're a Jew.'

      'The Dome of the Rock in Jerusalem if you're a Muslim,' Jerri says.

      'The wall that surrounds us, the Western Wall if you're a Jew,' I say. 'Mount Kailash in western Tibet if you're a Hindu or Buddhist or Jain.'

      'It's the city of Allahabad in 2013, and we're holding the festival of Kumbh Mela,' Chloe says. '100 million Hindu pilgrims are expected.'

      'It's a grotto in Lourdes, France where someone thought they saw the Virgin Mary,' Shaun says. 'Who's that?'

      'It's the Canterbury Cathedral if you're an Anglican,' Adrian says. ‘The cave of Machpelah in Hebron if you’re a Jew.'

      'I'm serious,' Shaun says. 'Who's that? Standing in the doorway?'

      'We're between the buttes of Chimney Rock in southwestern Colorado if you're a Native American,' I say, nodding. big blue eyes

      'Or we're inside Uluru if you're an indigenous Australian,' Shelly says. 'This is Mauna Kea if you're Polynesian.'

      'We're surrounded by the stones of Stonehenge if you're a Pagan,' Adrian says.

      'And this girl's hair is like the waterfall at Japan's Tsubaki Grand Shrine if you follow Shinto,' Shaun says. 'She's remarkable. I think Lorelei is here guys!'

      'Hi,' Lorelei says, walking into the room.

      ******

      References

      1 Great Southern Land - Icehouse

      2 Hero - Nickelback

      3 Pimp Like Me - D12

      4 I Don't Care - Fall Out Boy

      5 Just Got Started - 360 and Pez

      6 Bonkers - Dizzee Rascal

      7 Hey Man (Now You're Really Living) - Eels

      8 Routledge, C., Arndt, J., & Goldenberg, J. L. (2004). A Time to Tan: Proximal and Distal Effects of Mortality Salience on Sun Exposure Intentions. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 30, 1347-1358. doi: 10.1177/0146167204264056

      9 Boombox - The Lonely Island and Julian Casablancas

      10 Beautiful – Akon, Colby O'Donis, and Kardinal Offishall

      11 The Kids Are All Fucked Up - Cobra Starship

      12 At Midnight - Bliss N Eso

      13 Creator - Santogold

      14 Jetpack - Flobots

      15 Keep On Pushin - Royce Da 5'9", DJ Premier, and Statik Selektar

      16 System - Seal

      17 I'm Different - The Whitlams

      18 Feel Like Home – Fort Minor

      19 This Is For You - Bliss N Eso

      20 No Such Thing – John Mayer

      21 Maybe - Kelly Clarkson

      22 Belt, D. (2010). National Geographic: Sacred Journeys (Special Edition).

      23 Flawless (Go To The City) – George Michael

      24 Ladies Of The World – Flight Of The Conchords

      25 Other Side – (Hed) P. E.

      26 Alice In Wonderland – Brian McFadden

      27 Set In Stone – Brian McFadden

      28 Who Are You? - Katie Noonan

      29 Irish Son – Brian McFadden (“Now I'm old enough to know my own mind…”; "…just break with your past and feed your own mind coz this Irish son has moved with the times.”)

      JACKSON CURTIS – 6:00pm - December 17 - 2011

      'What are you doing?' Lorelei asks.

      She has the most beautiful eyes and teeth, so full and white: she's the flesh and blood version of Tangled's Rapunzel. I smile and tap my pen on the desk, waiting patiently for myself to avert my strong gaze.

      'I'm writing a letter,' I say.

      'Who to?'

      'I'm gonna write it, then I'll read it out . . . like, to the camera. It's silly but I don't know what else to do.'

      'Yeah, so who's it to?'

      'Russell Brand,' I say, shrugging. 'The English comedian, you know?'

      'Of course.'

      'I'm thinking I write him a letter, ask him for some help. He's bound to be watching. I'm sure this is being screened in England.'

      'You need to do the speech,' Shaun says. He hops up onto the table. 'We're giving the loudspeaker to you, and you're climbing through that sunroof. The sooner the better dude.'

      I look around the room, everyone's nodding: Shelly, Jerri, Adrian.

      'We need a celebrity,' I say. 'Adrian's known throughout the south but only for being a northerner and that's not enough. I've got some status but only as a night walker, and only among my clientele. No one out there is going to listen to us. If we can get someone like Russell Brand to tell people that this is a safe-house then . . .'

      'Or