Bill the Minder. William Heath Robinson

difficulty as I was faint with hunger and stiff in the limbs, and was about to approach the object, when I discovered two ​more figures, who evidently had the same intention. Seemingly they did not wish to be observed by the singular creature I have already described, for they were stealthily approaching him from behind, creeping from rock to rock. I at once stooped down behind a great star-fish, determined to watch unobserved.

      'I now noticed that both were savages, and that one of them held close to his body an old, rusty kitchen-range; while the other carried, in one hand, a basket of coals, and with the other supported a huge, iron sauce-pan across his shoulders. Nearer and nearer drew the cannibals (as I soon guessed them to be) to their intended victim, who, however, either because he did not hear them, or did not dread them, took no notice at all. Presently they were crouching down behind him, and he was still apparently unconscious of their presence. Then, with a wild whoop they leapt into the air, and dropped on the ground in front of him. Even now the amazing creature took no notice of the cannibals or their antics, as they danced and yelled around him. Soon realising that there was something very unusual in his reception of them, they stared in awe and amazement at him for some time, and then fled in terror, leaving the saucepan, the kitchen-range and the other cooking utensils behind them.

      'They ran along the sands, and dropped behind a rock at a great distance away, where they remained ​completely hidden for some long time. Presently, however, one black head appeared for an instant above the rock, and gazed in the direction of the thoughtful creature by the sea. This head was very quickly withdrawn from view and another popped up—only to disappear as quickly. Then the first appeared again, and so on. This continued until they had regained a little of their nerve, when I could see them once more crawling back to the abstracted figure on the shore. Again they drew very close to him, and now that they had sufficiently mastered their fears, they approached and examined him very closely, and proceeded at once to prepare their evening meal. First of all they lit the fire, then they carefully placed their unresisting victim in the saucepan, after filling it with water from the sea, and were just about to lift it on to the range when I lost all patience, and shouted from my hiding-place, "Hold!" so many times in quick succession, and each time in a different tone of voice, that the cannibals must have thought there were at least thirty men or more in hiding. At any rate, they fled in the most abject terror, never to return.

      'Giving them good time to disappear, I now emerged from my hiding-place and approached the absentminded creature, gently lifting him from the saucepan, in which I found him still sitting and gazing out to sea. Gathering together many sea-urchins, rockbeetles, and branches of a succulent sea-weed, with

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      FOR YEARS WE SAILED

       which the beach had been strewn by the recent storm, I prepared an exquisite stew, and made a very hearty meal. I was also able to induce my companion to take some, without, however, succeeding in breaking his train of thought.

      'For many months no other friend had I than this preoccupied curiosity, who seemed quite unable to give me any clue as to who he was or whence he came. Perhaps he had been shipwrecked there in childhood—who knows?—and wandered there ever since, the wonder of every limpet or lugworm that squirmed upon those shores, or the sport of every mer-kid that flipped a fin in those unknown waters.

      ​'To cut a long story short, I soon realised that here was the object I was in search of, and that if this dreamy creature did not sufficiently astonish old De Trevor, and compel him to consent to my marrying his daughter, nothing on this earth would do the deed, so I resolved to leave the island with my treasure as soon as I could make it possible to do so. I set about making a raft, which I quickly succeeded in completing, having since my childhood had a great knack at the making of rafts, and, without undue delay, I embarked with my prize, provisioned with as many shell-fish and branches of the succulent sea-weed as the raft would carry.

      'After some few months, and just as we had finished our last limpet, we had the good fortune to be picked up by a tramp-steamer, bound for Saskatchewan from Mombasa, with a cargo of periwinkles. The captain was such a kind-hearted man that, on hearing my story he decided to go out of his course, and land us at Cherry Garden Pier; and so, my good friends, after sixty years' sailing all over the globe, I arrived home again, a poorer but a kinder man.

      'You may be sure that I lost no time in seeking out Jane herself, with every hope of at last being able to claim her hand, but alas! gentlemen,' said the Ancient Mariner, with a large, salt tear about to fall from each eye, and as he once more tenderly lifted his burden, 'I was to find that Jane had become a very, very old woman, with many little grandchildren of

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      The sport of every mer-kid

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      ​ ​her own, and that she had entirely forgotten my existence. She had me turned away from her doorstep as a raving madman, even with my interesting, absentminded, and inseparable companion.

      'Thus, Good Sirs, I have to start life anew, and if my great experience should be of any service to you, believe me, it is yours to command.'

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