Memories Of Our Days. Chiara Cesetti

comes first …but just for this time…- and deep down he was happy for the double treat his son was getting: a day off school and to see the horses being tamed.

      The horses were usually tamed in May. Mornings were still fresh, bright, their brightness would remind of summer. The men were riding the horses, holding a long wooden rod and a big rope across their shoulder, they were wearing sturdy boots and wide leather thigh pads. As soon as the sun was coming out, they headed towards the woods in a line, quiet and ready to tackle a day which was different from the others, determined to take up the challenge which would certainly test their abilities and the outcome was always good. It was a challenge against the foal, still wild, and the dexterity of man, to show to oneself and the others. It was almost a celebration.

      Antonino could not sleep the night before, he was anxious and alert to the sounds in the house, concerned that someone could forget about him. He was ready well before dawn. He would come down in the kitchen with his stomach tightening due to his excitement and could not eat anything. Giulia would make the lunch for her men to take with them and put in something extra for him…to eat in a little while- she said to him.

      She saw her son glowing with happiness thinking about that day and she was delighted for him. Antonino was full of energy early in the day, which were almost the last hours of the night, dying to go out. With his eyes he was urging his father to be quick, to get up from the table, not to waste any more time. When Giovanni, once he had finished, had just moved the chair away from the table, he was already out the door. He was ahead of him in every movement he made. Giulia smiled looking at him and before they went off, she could not hold back the last words

      -Be careful….- a piece of advice aimed at the son which would imply thousands more to the father -Please, make sure he is safe, if he rides a horse, please get him to ride the calmest, don’t let him ride on his own…- and many more that she would have liked to add to the list but that it was not necessary to say. She knew that Giovanni did not like to listen to them, as if he was an irresponsible father who would jeopardise their son’s life. One look would settle it all.

      She heard them getting the buddy ready and she could then see them going off together in the darkness which was just starting to brighten up. She heard Giovanni spur the horse under his breath and the familiar sound of the horse trotting on the gravel of the driveway. She would see from behind the window the two of them sitting next to each other on the tiny seat, as far as they disappeared in the early morning light. She would stay there for a few more minutes even when they could not be seen anymore and only the echo of those sounds would be heard, holding back a sense of satisfaction all over her, which was difficult to part from in order to start the day waiting for them to come back.

      The men were all ready in the field and were waiting to leave all together. Giovanni and Antonino were following them with the buggy. As soon as his soon was old enough, he would prepare the horse for him -… the oldest, the calmest horse- as Giulia wished, and the boy would head towards the woods with the others.

      A few years had gone from that first time, but to Antonino each time was the first time. When he was riding the horse, which over time had been replaced with a fast and sturdy crossbreed, he always had the feeling he could rule the world. He could feel the animal’s tight and powerful muscles under the tight grip of his thighs, so much so that when the horse was trotting lightly, he could feel the restrained strength. His body was taking in the vitality of the horse which was carrying on with great ability the orders just given with the light movement of the reins. There was not much talking done in the early hours of the morning, only the necessary words that could not be replaced by the gestures. Along the way that from the field would lead to the woods, the horse did not need to be guided, it would ride first, with the others right behind him, in a single line, keeping a pace of who is not in a haste and does not know where to go. The horseman would caracole over him, covered up by the black and heavy cowboy’s cape and would enjoy the fresh air and the colours of the dawn. The open field would lead to the woods, the lane became narrow and rough among the bushes of strawberry tree, myrtle and rosemary. The lower branches of the trees would touch lightly the men who were trying to push them away or bending down over the neck of the animal. Scattered in several directions, they were gathering the wild horses and were leading them to where they had started off. The taming would have started off there.

      The young foals followed an older horse which they would see as their guide. They were riding along the way encouraged and guided by the screams of the cowboy. The air was filled with the neighs and the voices and the horses would come out in small teams from the bushes, disoriented, scared by the recalls and the steady touch of the stick, jumping around a leader from which they were looking for safety, with their big wet restless eyes and their beautiful heads shaking nervously their manes. As soon as they came out of the woods the men would push them into a single team. Whistling and using their voices they guided them inside a big pen and the foals sensed that that fence would imprison them and give them a different life, where their freedom and playing with fellow horses would be over, where the woods ended to give way to the countryside. At that stage the cowboys would start their game and one by one the foals were directed towards a smaller pen and the taming would start.

      When Antonino was a child, he used to perch on the fence and look in ecstasy at the young animal which was made to run all around in a circle. The men would throw the ropes around the foal’s neck which was pawing the ground, scared and furious at the same time, till the strength failed it. Exhausted, with its eyes nearly popping out of its head and its fur shiny with the sweat, it was giving into men’s ability and gave up to their will. In those moments Antonino felt a vague sense of sadness, as if that wild being had lost its virginity, forced to leave behind that part of uncontaminated nature that was in it, to get into a world made up of rules it was not destined to originally.

      That day would stay in the child’s mind for a long time. Once back home, he would be so excited telling his mother and his aunts all about the marvellous things he saw. Giulia smiled, happy to see him so enthusiastic, Clara could not understand why he was so excited and the twin’s opinion about the matter was not at all requested.

      1 Chapter VI

      Rudi is in hospital

      Rudi did not know how he got to the hospital. He found himself in a bed, with his shoulder all bandaged up and in pain, surrounded by other wounded soldiers.

      The first impression he had when he managed to open his eyes was a feeling of sickness that was coming up to his throat from his stomach, causing him the feeling to vomit without being actually able to do it. He could not make out what was around him. He could hear every sound as if it was far away and annoying, rejected by his mind which was still under the effect of ether. Then he could hear the moans and groans of the people around him. He dreamt of being in the barricade where the mud which was stuck to their shoes would make every movement quite heavy and it was hard to move the arms too. Every movement caused an excruciating pain and the awful smell off the dead bodies which had been lying there for days, with their rotting faces and the bodies all over the place over which you would stumble at every step, gripped his stomach - God, let me out of here, let me get out of this living hell alive- he thought. His heavy eyelids were trying to open in the light of a different situation which they could not get used to. The eyes wide open were still, blank and could only see what the mind remembered. He would sink again in his terrible memories and could feel the pain in his shoulder which was becoming unbearable.

      He woke up completely, covered in sweat, exhausted with the pain and his visions. He felt a cool hand on his forehead and could not say a word for a few minutes, terrified at the idea that that was his dream and it could vanish in a moment, making him go back to the terrible reality of earlier on. He slowly came around and asked without opening his eyes

      -Where am I?-

      -In hospital-

      A man’s voice answered the question

      -Why am I here?-

      -You are on holidays-

      Rudi did not pick up his sarcasm

      -Am I sick?-

      -Of course you are sick. The air at the front was