THE COLLECTED PLAYS OF W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM. Уильям Сомерсет Моэм

      Hilda.

      [Opening her eyes.] He comes here, Mr. Kent.

      Basil.

      [Unable to restrain his ill-temper.] Don't you know that he's been mixed up in every scandal for the last twenty years?

      Hilda.

      [Good-humouredly, seeing that Basil is merely jealous.] There must be people in the world to provide gossip for their neighbours.

      Basil.

      It's no business of mine. I have no right to talk to you like this.

      Hilda.

      I wonder why you do it?

      Basil.

      [Almost savagely.] Because I love you.

      [There is a little pause.

      Hilda.

      [With a smile, ironically.] Won't you have some more tea, Mr. Kent?

      Basil.

      [Going up to her, speaking with a sort of vehement gravity.] You don't know what I've suffered. You don't know what a hell my life is.... I tried so hard to prevent myself from coming here. When I married I swore I'd break with all my old friends.... When I married I found I loved you.

      Hilda.

      I can't listen to you if you talk like that.

      Basil.

      D'you want me to go?

      [She does not answer for a moment, but walks up and down in agitation. At last she stops and faces him.

      Hilda.

      Did you hear me tell Mr. Brackley to come on Thursday?

      Basil.

      Yes.

      Hilda.

      He's asked me to be his wife. And on Thursday I shall give him an answer.

      Basil.

      Hilda!

      Hilda.

      [Earnestly.] It's you who've driven me into it.

      Basil.

      Hilda, what are you going to say to him?

      Hilda.

      I don't know—perhaps, yes?

      Basil.

      Oh, Hilda, Hilda, you don't care for him?

      Hilda.

      [Shrugging her shoulders.] He amuses me. I dare say we should get on very well together.

      Basil.

      [Passionately.] Oh, you can't. You don't know what you're doing. I thought—I thought you loved me.

      Hilda.

      It's because I love you that I shall marry Mr. Brackley.

      Basil.

      Oh, it's absurd. I won't let you. You're making us both utterly wretched. I won't let you sacrifice our happiness. Oh, Hilda, I love you. I can't live without you. At first I tried to resist seeing you. I used to pass your door and look up at your windows; and the door seemed as if it were waiting for me. And at the end of the street I used to look back. Oh, how I used to want to come in and see you once more! I thought if I saw you just once, I should get over it. And at last I couldn't help myself. I'm so weak. Do you despise me?

      Hilda.

      [Almost in a whisper.] I don't know.

      Basil.

      And you were so kind I couldn't help coming again. I thought I did no harm.

      Hilda.

      I saw you were unhappy.

      Basil.

      I should think I was unhappy. For months I've dreaded going home. When I saw my house as I walked along I almost turned sick. You don't know how fervently I've wished that I'd got killed in the war. I can't go on.

      Hilda.

      But you must. It's your duty.

      Basil.

      Oh, I think I've had enough of duty and honour. I've used up all my principles in the last year.

      Hilda.

      Don't say that, Basil.

      Basil.

      After all, it's my own fault. I brought it on myself, and I must take the consequences.... But I haven't the strength, I don't love her.

      Hilda.

      Then don't let her ever find it out. Be kind to her, and gentle and forbearing.

      Basil.

      I can't be kind and gentle and forbearing day after day, for weeks, and months, and years.

      Hilda.

      I thought you were a brave man. They wouldn't have given you that medal if you'd been a coward.

      Basil.

      Oh, my dearest, it's not hard to risk your life in the midst of battle. I can do that—but this needs more strength than I've got. I tell you I can't endure it.

      Hilda.

      [Tenderly.] But it'll get better. You'll get used to one another, and you'll understand one another better.

      Basil.

      We're too different. It's impossible for it to get better. We can't even go on as we have been. I've felt that the end was coming.

      Hilda.

      But try—try for my sake.

      Basil.

      You don't know what it is. Everything she says, everything she does, jars upon me so frightfully. I try to restrain myself. I clench my teeth to prevent myself from breaking out at her. Sometimes I can't help it, and I say things that I'd give anything to have left unsaid. She's dragging me down. I'm getting as common and vulgar as she is.

      Hilda.

      How can you say that of your wife?

      Basil.

      Don't you think I must have gone through a good deal before I could acknowledge to myself what she was? I'm chained to her for all my life. And when I look into the future—I see her a vulgar, slatternly shrew like her mother, and myself abject, degraded, and despicable. The woman never tires in her conflict with the man, and in the end he always succumbs. A man, when he marries a woman like that, thinks he's going to lift her up to his own station. The fool! It's she who drags him down to hers.

      Hilda.

      [Much disturbed, rising from her seat.] I wanted you to be so happy.

      Basil.

      [Going towards her.] Hilda!

      Hilda.

      No—don't.... Please!

      Basil.

      If it weren't for you I couldn't have lived. It was only by seeing you that I gathered courage to go on with it. And each time I came here I loved you more passionately.

      Hilda.

      Oh, why did you come?

      Basil.

      I couldn't help it. I knew it was poison, but I loved the poison. I would give my whole soul for one look of your eyes.

      Hilda.

      If you care for me at all, do your duty like a brave man—and let me respect you.

      Basil.

      Say that you love me, Hilda.

      Hilda.

      [Distracted.]