THE COLLECTED PLAYS OF W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM. Уильям Сомерсет Моэм

that in my face now. I can't 'elp it if I'm out of work.

      Basil.

      Oh, I haven't the least objection to your being out of work. All I protest against—and that very mildly—is that I should be expected to keep you. How much did you want to-day?

      James.

      I don't want your dirty money.

      Basil.

      [With a laugh.] Have you already tried to borrow it from Jenny?

      James.

      No, I 'aven't.

      Basil.

      And she refused, I suppose.

      James.

      [Storming.] I tell you I don't want your dirty money.

      Basil.

      Well, then, we're both quite satisfied. You seemed to think that because I married Jenny I was bound to keep the whole gang of you for the rest of your lives. I'm sorry I can't afford it. And you will kindly tell the rest of them that I'm sick and tired of forking out.

      James.

      I wonder you don't forbid me your house while you're about it.

      Basil.

      [Coolly.] You may come here when I'm not at home—if you behave yourself.

      James.

      I'm not good enough for you, I suppose?

      Basil.

      No, you're not.

      James.

      [Angrily.] Ah, you're a pretty specimen, you are. You mean skinflint!

      Basil.

      Don't be abusive, James. It's rude.

      James.

      I shall say what I choose.

      Basil.

      And please don't talk so loud. It annoys me.

      James.

      [Malevolently.] I dare say you'd like to get me out of the way. But I mean to keep my eye on you.

      Basil.

      [Sharply.] What d'you mean by that?

      James.

      You know what I mean. Jenny has something to put up with, I lay.

      Basil.

      [Containing his anger.] You'll have the goodness to leave the relations between Jenny and myself alone—d'you hear?

      James.

      Ha, that's touched you up, has it? You think I don't know what sort of a feller you are. I can just about see through two of you. And I know a good deal more about you than you think.

      Basil.

      [Contemptuously.] Don't be foolish, James.

      James.

      [Sarcastic.] A nice thing Jenny did when she married you.

      Basil.

      [Recovering himself, with a smile.] Has she been telling you my numerous faults? [To Jenny.] You must have had plenty to talk about, my love.

      Jenny.

      [Who has been going on with her sewing, looking up now and then uneasily.] I haven't said a word against you, Basil.

      Basil.

      [Turning his back on James.] Oh, my dear Jenny, if it amuses you, by all means discuss me with your brother and your sister and your father and your mother, and the whole crew of them.... I should be so dull if I had no faults.

      Jenny.

      [Anxiously.] Tell him I've not said anything against him, Jimmie.

      James.

      It's not for want of something to say, I lay.

      Basil.

      [Over his shoulder.] I'm getting rather tired, brother James. I'd go, if I were you.

      James.

      [Very aggressively.] I shan't go till I choose.

      Basil.

      [Turns round, smiling blandly.] Of course, we're both Christians, dear James; and there's a good deal of civilisation kicking about the world nowadays. But, notwithstanding, the last word is still with the strongest.

      James.

      What d'you mean by that?

      Basil.

      [Good-humouredly.] Merely that discretion is the better part of valour. They say that proverbs are the wealth of nations.

      James.

      [Indignantly.] That's just the sort of thing you'd do—to 'it a feller smaller than yourself.

      Basil.

      Oh, I wouldn't hit you for worlds, brother James. I should merely throw you downstairs.

      James.

      [Making for the door.] I should just like to see you try it on.

      Basil.

      Don't be silly, James. You know you wouldn't like it at all.

      James.

      I'm not afraid of you.

      Basil.

      Of course not. But still—you're not very muscular, are you?

      James.

      You coward!

      Basil.

      [Smiling.] Your repartees are not brilliant, James.

      James.

      [Standing at the door for safety's sake.] I'll pay you out before I've done.

      Basil.

      [Raising his eyebrows.] James, I told you to get out five minutes ago.

      James.

      I'm going. D'you think I want to stay 'ere? Good-bye, Jenny, I'm not going to stand being insulted by any one. [He goes out slamming the door.]

      [Basil, smiling quietly, goes to his writing-table and turns over some papers.

      Basil.

      The only compensation in brother James is that he sometimes causes one a little mild amusement.

      Jenny.

      You might at least be polite to him, Basil.

      Basil.

      I used up all my politeness six months ago.

      Jenny.

      After all, he is my brother.

      Basil.

      That is a fact I deplore with all my heart, I assure you.

      Jenny.

      I don't know what's wrong with him.

      Basil.

      Don't you? It doesn't matter.

      Jenny.

      I know he isn't a Society man.

      Basil.

      [With a laugh.] No, he wouldn't shine at duchesses tea-parties.

      Jenny.

      Well, he's none the worse for that, is he?

      Basil.

      Not at all.

      Jenny.

      Then why d'you treat him as if he was a dog?

      Basil.

      My