The Greatest Novellas & Short Stories of Anton Chekhov. Anton Chekhov

his whole person forward, and whispered in the general’s ear.

      “Pardon, your Excellency, I spattered you accidentally… .”

      “Never mind, never mind.”

      “For goodness sake excuse me, I… I did not mean to.”

      “Oh, please, sit down! let me listen!”

      Tchervyakov was embarrassed, he smiled stupidly and fell to gazing at the stage. He gazed at it but was no longer feeling bliss. He began to be troubled by uneasiness. In the interval, he went up to Brizzhalov, walked beside him, and overcoming his shyness, muttered:

      “I spattered you, your Excellency, forgive me… you see… I didn’t do it to… .”

      “Oh, that’s enough… I’d forgotten it, and you keep on about it!” said the general, moving his lower lip impatiently.

      “He has forgotten but there is a fiendish light in his eye,” thought Tchervyakov, looking suspiciously at the general. “And he doesn’t want to talk. I ought to explain to him … that I really didn’t intend … that it is the law of nature or else he will think I meant to spit on him. He doesn’t think so now, but he will think so later!”

      On getting home, Tchervyakov told his wife of his breach of good manners. It struck him that his wife took too frivolous a view of the incident; she was a little frightened, but when she learned that Brizzhalov was in a different department, she was reassured.

      “Still, you had better go and apologise,” she said, “or he will think you don’t know how to behave in public.”

      “That’s just it! I did apologise, but he took it somehow queerly … he didn’t say a word of sense. There wasn’t time to talk properly.”

      Next day Tchervyakov put on a new uniform, had his hair cut and went to Brizzhalov’s to explain; going into the general’s reception room he saw there a number of petitioners and among them the general himself, who was beginning to interview them. After questioning several petitioners the general raised his eyes and looked at Tchervyakov.

      “Yesterday at the Arcadia, if you recollect, your Excellency,” the latter began, “I sneezed and … accidentally spattered … Exc… .”

      “What nonsense… . It’s beyond anything! What can I do for you,” said the general addressing the next petitioner.

      “He won’t speak,” thought Tchervyakov, turning pale; “that means that he is angry… . No, it can’t be left like this… . I will explain to him.”

      When the general had finished his conversation with the last of the petitioners and was turning towards his inner apartments, Tchervyakov took a step towards him and muttered:

      “Your Excellency! If I venture to trouble your Excellency, it is simply from a feeling I may say of regret! … It was not intentional if you will graciously believe me.”

      The general made a lachrymose face, and waved his hand.

      “Why, you are simply making fun of me, sir,” he said as he closed the door behind him.

      “Where’s the making fun in it?” thought Tchervyakov, “there is nothing of the sort! He is a general, but he can’t understand. If that is how it is I am not going to apologise to that fanfaron any more! The devil take him. I’ll write a letter to him, but I won’t go. By Jove, I won’t.”

      So thought Tchervyakov as he walked home; he did not write a letter to the general, he pondered and pondered and could not make up that letter. He had to go next day to explain in person.

      “I ventured to disturb your Excellency yesterday,” he muttered, when the general lifted enquiring eyes upon him, “not to make fun as you were pleased to say. I was apologising for having spattered you in sneezing… . And I did not dream of making fun of you. Should I dare to make fun of you, if we should take to making fun, then there would be no respect for persons, there would be… .”

      “Be off!” yelled the general, turning suddenly purple, and shaking all over.

      “What?” asked Tchervyakov, in a whisper turning numb with horror.

      “Be off!” repeated the general, stamping.

      Something seemed to give way in Tchervyakov’s stomach. Seeing nothing and hearing nothing he reeled to the door, went out into the street, and went staggering along… . Reaching home mechanically, without taking off his uniform, he lay down on the sofa and died.

      A DAUGHTER OF ALBION

       Table of Contents

      Translation By Constance Garnett

      A FINE carriage with rubber tyres, a fat coachman, and velvet on the seats, rolled up to the house of a landowner called Gryabov. Fyodor Andreitch Otsov, the district Marshal of Nobility, jumped out of the carriage. A drowsy footman met him in the hall.

      “Are the family at home?” asked the Marshal.

      “No, sir. The mistress and the children are gone out paying visits, while the master and mademoiselle are catching fish. Fishing all the morning, sir.

      Otsov stood a little, thought a little, and then went to the river to look for Gryabov. Going down to the river he found him a mile and a half from the house. Looking down from the steep bank and catching sight of Gryabov, Otsov gushed with laughter…. Gryabov, a large stout man, with a very big head, was sitting on the sand, angling, with his legs tucked under him like a Turk. His hat was on the back of his head and his cravat had slipped on one side. Beside him stood a tall thin Englishwoman, with prominent eyes like a crab’s, and a big birdlike nose more like a hook than a nose. She was dressed in a white muslin gown through which her scraggy yellow shoulders were very distinctly apparent. On her gold belt hung a little gold watch. She too was angling. The stillness of the grave reigned about them both. Both were motionless, as the river upon which their floats were swimming.

      “A desperate passion, but deadly dull!” laughed Otsov. “Good-day, Ivan Kuzmitch.”

      “Ah… is that you ?” asked Gryabov, not taking his eyes off the water. “Have you come?”

      “As you see… . And you are still taken up with your crazy nonsense! Not given it up yet?”

      “The devil’s in it…. I begin in the morning and fish all day…. The fishing is not up to much to-day. I’ve caught nothing and this dummy hasn’t either. We sit on and on and not a devil of a fish! I could scream!”

      “Well, chuck it up then. Let’s go and have some vodka!”

      “Wait a little, maybe we shall catch something. Towards evening the fish bite better… . I’ve been sitting here, my boy, ever since the morning! I can’t tell you how fearfully boring it is. It was the devil drove me to take to this fishing! I know that it is rotten idiocy for me to sit here. I sit here like some scoundrel, like a convict, and I stare at the water like a fool. I ought to go to the haymaking, but here I sit catching fish. Yesterday His Holiness held a service at Haponyevo, but I didn’t go. I spent the day here with this… with this she-devil.”

      “But… have you taken leave of your senses?” asked Otsov, glancing in embarrassment at the Englishwoman. “Using such language before a lady and she… .”

      “Oh, confound her, it doesn’t matter, she doesn’t understand a syllable of Russian, whether you praise her or blame her, it is all the same to her! Just look at her nose! Her nose alone is enough to make one faint. We sit here for whole days together and not a single word! She stands like a stuffed image and rolls the whites of her eyes at the water.”

      The Englishwoman gave a yawn, put a new worm on, and dropped