Bouvard & Pécuchet (French Classics Series). Gustave Flaubert

and Bouvard, when he no longer saw the priest’s three-cornered headpiece, expressed his relief; for he hated Jesuits. Pécuchet, without absolving them from blame, exhibited some respect for religion.

      Meanwhile, the twilight was falling, and the window-blinds in front of them were raised. The passers-by became more numerous. Seven o’clock struck.

      Their words rushed on in an inexhaustible stream; remarks succeeding to anecdotes, philosophic views to individual considerations. They disparaged the management of the bridges and causeways, the tobacco administration, the theatres, our marine, and the entire human race, like people who had undergone great mortifications. In listening to each other both found again some ideas which had long since slipped out of their minds; and though they had passed the age of simple emotions, they experienced a new pleasure, a kind of expansion, the tender charm associated with their first appearance on life’s stage.

      Twenty times they had risen and sat down again, and had proceeded along the boulevard from the upper to the lower lock, each time intending to take their departure, but not having the strength to do so, held back by a kind of fascination.

      However, they came to parting at last, and they had clasped each other’s hands, when Bouvard said all of a sudden:

      “Faith! what do you say to our dining together?”

      “I had the very same idea in my own head,” returned Pécuchet, “but I hadn’t the courage to propose it to you.”

      And he allowed himself to be led towards a little restaurant facing the Hôtel de Ville, where they would be comfortable.

      Bouvard called for the menu. Pécuchet was afraid of spices, as they might inflame his blood. This led to a medical discussion. Then they glorified the utility of science: how many things could be learned, how many researches one could make, if one had only time! Alas! earning one’s bread took up all one’s time; and they raised their arms in astonishment, and were near embracing each other over the table on discovering that they were both copyists, Bouvard in a commercial establishment, and Pécuchet in the Admiralty, which did not, however, prevent him from devoting a few spare moments each evening to study. He had noted faults in M. Thiers’s work, and he spoke with the utmost respect of a certain professor named Dumouchel.

      Bouvard had the advantage of him in other ways. His hair watch-chain, and his manner of whipping-up the mustard-sauce, revealed the greybeard, full of experience; and he ate with the corners of his napkin under his armpits, giving utterance to things which made Pécuchet laugh. It was a peculiar laugh, one very low note, always the same, emitted at long intervals. Bouvard’s laugh was explosive, sonorous, uncovering his teeth, shaking his shoulders, and making the customers at the door turn round to stare at him.

      When they had dined they went to take coffee in another establishment. Pécuchet, on contemplating the gas-burners, groaned over the spreading torrent of luxury; then, with an imperious movement, he flung aside the newspapers. Bouvard was more indulgent on this point. He liked all authors indiscriminately, having been disposed in his youth to go on the stage.

      He had a fancy for trying balancing feats with a billiard-cue and two ivory balls, such as Barberou, one of his friends, had performed. They invariably fell, and, rolling along the floor between people’s legs, got lost in some distant corner. The waiter, who had to rise every time to search for them on all-fours under the benches, ended by making complaints. Pécuchet picked a quarrel with him; the coffee-house keeper came on the scene, but Pécuchet would listen to no excuses, and even cavilled over the amount consumed.

      He then proposed to finish the evening quietly at his own abode, which was quite near, in the Rue St. Martin. As soon as they had entered he put on a kind of cotton nightgown, and did the honours of his apartment.

      A deal desk, placed exactly in the centre of the room caused inconvenience by its sharp corners; and all around, on the boards, on the three chairs, on the old armchair, and in the corners, were scattered pellmell a number of volumes of the “Roret Encyclopædia,” “The Magnetiser’s Manual,” a Fénelon, and other old books, with heaps of waste paper, two cocoanuts, various medals, a Turkish cap, and shells brought back from Havre by Dumouchel. A layer of dust velveted the walls, which otherwise had been painted yellow. The shoe-brush was lying at the side of the bed, the coverings of which hung down. On the ceiling could be seen a big black stain, produced by the smoke of the lamp.

      Bouvard, on account of the smell no doubt, asked permission to open the window.

      “The papers will fly away!” cried Pécuchet, who was more afraid of the currents of air.

      However, he panted for breath in this little room, heated since morning by the slates of the roof.

      Bouvard said to him: “If I were in your place, I would remove my flannel.”

      “What!” And Pécuchet cast down his head, frightened at the idea of no longer having his healthful flannel waistcoat.

      “Let me take the business in hand,” resumed Bouvard; “the air from outside will refresh you.”

      At last Pécuchet put on his boots again, muttering, “Upon my honour, you are bewitching me.” And, notwithstanding the distance, he accompanied Bouvard as far as the latter’s house at the corner of the Rue de Béthune, opposite the Pont de la Tournelle.

      Bouvard’s room, the floor of which was well waxed, and which had curtains of cotton cambric and mahogany furniture, had the advantage of a balcony overlooking the river. The two principal ornaments were a liqueur-frame in the middle of the chest of drawers, and, in a row beside the glass, daguerreotypes representing his friends. An oil painting occupied the alcove.

      “My uncle!” said Bouvard. And the taper which he held in his hand shed its light on the portrait of a gentleman.

      Red whiskers enlarged his visage, which was surmounted by a forelock curling at its ends. His huge cravat, with the triple collar of his shirt, and his velvet waistcoat and black coat, appeared to cramp him. You would have imagined there were diamonds on his shirt-frill. His eyes seemed fastened to his cheekbones, and he smiled with a cunning little air.

      Pécuchet could not keep from saying, “One would rather take him for your father!”

      “He is my godfather,” replied Bouvard carelessly, adding that his baptismal name was François-Denys-Bartholemée.

      Pécuchet’s baptismal name was Juste-Romain-Cyrille, and their ages were identical — forty-seven years. This coincidence caused them satisfaction, but surprised them, each having thought the other much older. They next vented their admiration for Providence, whose combinations are sometimes marvellous.

      “For, in fact, if we had not gone out a while ago to take a walk we might have died before knowing each other.”

      And having given each other their employers’ addresses, they exchanged a cordial “good night.”

      “Don’t go to see the women!” cried Bouvard on the stairs.

      Pécuchet descended the steps without answering this coarse jest.

      Next day, in the space in front of the establishment of MM. Descambos Brothers, manufacturers of Alsatian tissues, 92, Rue Hautefeuille, a voice called out:

      “Bouvard! Monsieur Bouvard!”

      The latter glanced through the windowpanes and recognised Pécuchet, who articulated more loudly:

      “I am not ill! I have remained away!”

      “Why, though?”

      “This!” said Pécuchet, pointing at his breast.

      All the talk of the day before, together with the temperature of the apartment and the labours of digestion, had prevented him from sleeping, so much so that, unable to stand it any longer, he had flung off his flannel waistcoat. In the morning he recalled his action, which fortunately had no serious consequences, and he came to inform Bouvard about it, showing him in this way that he had placed him very high in his esteem.

      He was a small