60 Plays: The George Bernard Shaw Edition (Illustrated). GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

her.) Do you remember the first time?

      BLUNTSCHLI. I! No. Was I present?

      RAINA. Yes; and I told the officer who was searching for you that you were not present.

      BLUNTSCHLI. True. I should have remembered it.

      RAINA (greatly encouraged). Ah, it is natural that you should forget it first. It cost you nothing: it cost me a lie! — a lie!! (She sits down on the ottoman, looking straight before her with her hands clasped on her knee. Bluntschli, quite touched, goes to the ottoman with a particularly reassuring and considerate air, and sits down beside her.)

      BLUNTSCHLI. My dear young lady, don’t let this worry you. Remember: I’m a soldier. Now what are the two things that happen to a soldier so often that he comes to think nothing of them? One is hearing people tell lies (Raina recoils): the other is getting his life saved in all sorts of ways by all sorts of people.

      RAINA (rising in indignant protest). And so he becomes a creature incapable of faith and of gratitude.

      BLUNTSCHLI (making a wry face). Do you like gratitude? I don’t. If pity is akin to love, gratitude is akin to the other thing.

      RAINA. Gratitude! (Turning on him.) If you are incapable of gratitude you are incapable of any noble sentiment. Even animals are grateful. Oh, I see now exactly what you think of me! You were not surprised to hear me lie. To you it was something I probably did every day — every hour. That is how men think of women. (She walks up the room melodramatically.)

      BLUNTSCHLI (dubiously). There’s reason in everything. You said you’d told only two lies in your whole life. Dear young lady: isn’t that rather a short allowance? I’m quite a straightforward man myself; but it wouldn’t last me a whole morning.

      RAINA (staring haughtily at him). Do you know, sir, that you are insulting me?

      BLUNTSCHLI. I can’t help it. When you get into that noble attitude and speak in that thrilling voice, I admire you; but I find it impossible to believe a single word you say.

      RAINA (superbly). Captain Bluntschli!

      BLUNTSCHLI (unmoved). Yes?

      RAINA (coming a little towards him, as if she could not believe her senses). Do you mean what you said just now? Do you know what you said just now?

      BLUNTSCHLI. I do.

      RAINA (gasping). I! I!!! (She points to herself incredulously, meaning “I, Raina Petkoff, tell lies!” He meets her gaze unflinchingly. She suddenly sits down beside him, and adds, with a complete change of manner from the heroic to the familiar) How did you find me out?

      BLUNTSCHLI (promptly). Instinct, dear young lady. Instinct, and experience of the world.

      RAINA (wonderingly). Do you know, you are the first man I ever met who did not take me seriously?

      BLUNTSCHLI. You mean, don’t you, that I am the first man that has ever taken you quite seriously?

      RAINA. Yes, I suppose I do mean that. (Cosily, quite at her ease with him.) How strange it is to be talked to in such a way! You know, I’ve always gone on like that — I mean the noble attitude and the thrilling voice. I did it when I was a tiny child to my nurse. She believed in it. I do it before my parents. They believe in it. I do it before Sergius. He believes in it.

      BLUNTSCHLI. Yes: he’s a little in that line himself, isn’t he?

      RAINA (startled). Do you think so?

      BLUNTSCHLI. You know him better than I do.

      RAINA. I wonder — I wonder is he? If I thought that — ! (Discouraged.) Ah, well, what does it matter? I suppose, now that you’ve found me out, you despise me.

      BLUNTSCHLI (warmly, rising). No, my dear young lady, no, no, no a thousand times. It’s part of your youth — part of your charm. I’m like all the rest of them — the nurse — your parents — Sergius: I’m your infatuated admirer.

      RAINA (pleased). Really?

      BLUNTSCHLI (slapping his breast smartly with his hand, German fashion). Hand aufs Herz! Really and truly.

      RAINA (very happy). But what did you think of me for giving you my portrait?

      BLUNTSCHLI (astonished). Your portrait! You never gave me your portrait.

      RAINA (quickly). Do you mean to say you never got it?

      BLUNTSCHLI. No. (He sits down beside her, with renewed interest, and says, with some complacency.) When did you send it to me?

      RAINA (indignantly). I did not send it to you. (She turns her head away, and adds, reluctantly.) It was in the pocket of that coat.

      BLUNTSCHLI (pursing his lips and rounding his eyes). Oh-o-oh! I never found it. It must be there still.

      RAINA (springing up). There still! — for my father to find the first time he puts his hand in his pocket! Oh, how could you be so stupid?

      BLUNTSCHLI (rising also). It doesn’t matter: it’s only a photograph: how can he tell who it was intended for? Tell him he put it there himself.

      RAINA (impatiently). Yes, that is so clever — so clever! What shall I do?

      BLUNTSCHLI. Ah, I see. You wrote something on it. That was rash!

      RAINA (annoyed almost to tears). Oh, to have done such a thing for you, who care no more — except to laugh at me — oh! Are you sure nobody has touched it?

      BLUNTSCHLI. Well, I can’t be quite sure. You see I couldn’t carry it about with me all the time: one can’t take much luggage on active service.

      RAINA. What did you do with it?

      BLUNTSCHLI. When I got through to Peerot I had to put it in safe keeping somehow. I thought of the railway cloak room; but that’s the surest place to get looted in modern warfare. So I pawned it.

      RAINA. Pawned it!!!

      BLUNTSCHLI. I know it doesn’t sound nice; but it was much the safest plan. I redeemed it the day before yesterday. Heaven only knows whether the pawnbroker cleared out the pockets or not.

      RAINA (furious — throwing the words right into his face). You have a low, shopkeeping mind. You think of things that would never come into a gentleman’s head.

      BLUNTSCHLI (phlegmatically). That’s the Swiss national character, dear lady.

      RAINA. Oh, I wish I had never met you. (She flounces away and sits at the window fuming.)

      (Louka comes in with a heap of letters and telegrams on her salver, and crosses, with her bold, free gait, to the table. Her left sleeve is looped up to the shoulder with a brooch, shewing her naked arm, with a broad gilt bracelet covering the bruise.)

      LOUKA (to Bluntschli). For you. (She empties the salver recklessly on the table.) The messenger is waiting. (She is determined not to be civil to a Servian, even if she must bring him his letters.)

      BLUNTSCHLI (to Raina). Will you excuse me: the last postal delivery that reached me was three weeks ago. These are the subsequent accumulations. Four telegrams — a week old. (He opens one.) Oho! Bad news!

      RAINA (rising and advancing a little remorsefully). Bad news?

      BLUNTSCHLI. My father’s dead. (He looks at the telegram with his lips pursed, musing on the unexpected change in his arrangements.)

      RAINA. Oh, how very sad!

      BLUNTSCHLI. Yes: I shall have to start for home in an hour. He has left a lot of big hotels behind him to be looked after. (Takes up a heavy letter in a long blue envelope.) Here’s a whacking letter from the family solicitor. (He pulls out the enclosures and glances over them.) Great Heavens! Seventy! Two hundred! (In a crescendo of dismay.) Four hundred! Four thousand!! Nine thousand six hundred!!! What on earth shall I do with them all?

      RAINA (timidly). Nine thousand hotels?

      BLUNTSCHLI. Hotels! Nonsense. If you only knew! —