Calamities and Quarrels of Authors. Disraeli Isaac

whom he dignifies with the title of Ostiary, to take a shilling! But he seems to have been popular for many years; even when his auditors were but few, they were of the better order;[52] and in notes respecting him which I have seen, by a contemporary, he is called “the reverend and learned.” His favourite character was that of a Restorer of Eloquence; and he was not destitute of the qualifications of a fine orator, a good voice, graceful gesture, and forcible elocution. Warburton justly remarked, “Sometimes he broke jests, and sometimes that bread which he called the Primitive Eucharist.” He would degenerate into buffoonery on solemn occasions. His address to the Deity was at first awful, and seemingly devout; but, once expatiating on the several sects who would certainly be damned, he prayed that the Dutch might be undamm’d! He undertook to show the ancient use of the petticoat, by quoting the Scriptures where the mother of Samuel is said to have made him “a little coat,” ergo, a PETTI-coat![53] His advertisements 67 were mysterious ribaldry to attract curiosity, while his own good sense would frequently chastise those who could not resist it; his auditors came in folly, but they departed in good-humour.[54] These advertisements were usually preceded by a sort of motto, generally a sarcastic allusion to some public transaction of the preceding week.[55] Henley pretended to great impartiality; and when two preachers had animadverted on him, he issued an advertisement, announcing “A Lecture that will be a challenge to the Rev. Mr. Batty and the Rev. Mr. Albert. Letters are sent to them on this head, and a free standing-place is there to be had gratis.” Once Henley offered to admit of a disputation, and that he would impartially determine the merits of the contest. It happened that Henley this time was overmatched; 68 for two Oxonians, supported by a strong party to awe his “marrow-boners,” as the butchers were called, said to be in the Orator’s pay, entered the list; the one to defend the ignorance, the other the impudence, of the Restorer of Eloquence himself. As there was a door behind the rostrum, which led to his house, the Orator silently dropped out, postponing the award to some happier day.[56]

      This age of lecturers may find their model in Henley’s “Universal Academy,” and if any should aspire to bring themselves down to his genius, I furnish them with hints of anomalous topics. In the second number of “The Oratory Transactions,” is a diary from July 1726, to August 1728. It forms, perhaps, an unparalleled chronicle of the vagaries of the human mind. These archives of cunning, of folly, and of literature, are divided into two diaries; the one “The Theological or Lord’s days’ subjects of the Oratory;” the other, “The Academical or Week-days’ subjects.” I can only note a few. It is easy to pick out ludicrous specimens; for he had a quaint humour peculiar to himself; but among these numerous topics are many curious for their knowledge and ingenuity.

      “The last Wills and Testaments of the Patriarchs.”

      “An Argument to the Jews, with a proof that they ought to be Christians, for the same reason which they ought to be Jews.”

      “St. Paul’s Cloak, Books, and Parchments, left at Troas.”

      “The tears of Magdalen, and the joy of angels.”

      “New Converts in Religion.” After pointing out the names of “Courayer and others, the D—— of W——n, the Protestantism 69 of the P——, the conversion of the Rev. Mr. B——e, and Mr. Har——y,” he closes with “Origen’s opinion of Satan’s conversion; with the choice and balance of Religion in all countries.”

      There is one remarkable entry:—

      “Feb. 11. This week all Mr. Henley’s writings were seized, to be examined by the State. Vide Magnam Chartam, and Eng Lib.”

      It is evident by what follows that the personalities he made use of were one means of attracting auditors.

      “On the action of Cicero, and the beauty of Eloquence, and on living characters; of action in the Senate, at the Bar, and in the Pulpit—of the Theatrical in all men. The manner of my Lord——, Sir——, Dr. ——, the B. of——, being a proof how all life is playing something, but with different action.”

      In a Lecture on the History of Bookcraft, an account was given

      “Of the plenty of books, and dearth of sense; the advantages of the Oratory to the booksellers, in advertising for them; and to their customers, in making books useless; with all the learning, reason, and wit more than are proper for one advertisement.”

      Amid these eccentricities it is remarkable that “the Zany” never forsook his studies; and the amazing multiplicity of the MSS. he left behind him confirm this extraordinary fact. “These,” he says, “are six thousand more or less, that I value at one guinea apiece; with 150 volumes of commonplaces of wit, memoranda,” &c. They were sold for much less than one hundred pounds; I have looked over many; they are written with great care. Every leaf has an opposite blank page, probably left for additions or corrections, so that if his nonsense were spontaneous, his sense was the fruit of study and correction.

      Such was “Orator Henley!” A scholar of great acquirements, and of no mean genius; hardy and inventive, eloquent and witty; he might have been an ornament to literature, which he made ridiculous; and the pride of the pulpit, which he so egregiously disgraced; but, having blunted and worn out that interior feeling, which is the instinct of the good man, and the wisdom of the wise, there was no balance in his passions, and the decorum of life was sacrificed to its 70 selfishness. He condescended to live on the follies of the people, and his sordid nature had changed him till he crept, “licking the dust with the serpent.”[57]

THE MALADIES OF AUTHORS.

       Table of Contents

      The practice of every art subjects the artist to some particular inconvenience, usually inflicting some malady on that member which has been over-wrought by excess: nature abused, pursues man into his most secret corners, and avenges herself. In the athletic exercises of the ancient Gymnasium, the pugilists were observed to become lean from their hips downwards, while the superior parts of their bodies, which they over-exercised, were prodigiously swollen; on the contrary, the racers were meagre upwards, while their feet acquired an unnatural dimension. The secret source of life seems to be carried forwards to those parts which are making the most continued efforts.

      In all sedentary labours, some particular malady is contracted by every worker, derived from particular postures of the body and peculiar habits. Thus the weaver, the tailor, the painter, and the glass-blower, have all their respective maladies. The diamond-cutter, with a furnace before him, may be said almost to live in one; the slightest air must be shut out of the apartment, lest it scatter away the precious dust—a breath would ruin him!

      The analogy is obvious;[58] and the author must participate in the common fate of all sedentary occupations. But his maladies, from the very nature of the delicate organ of thinking, intensely exercised, are more terrible than those of any other profession; they are more complicated, more hidden 71 in their causes, and the mysterious union and secret influence of the faculties of the soul over those of the body, are visible, yet still incomprehensible; they frequently produce a perturbation in the faculties, a state of acute irritability, and many sorrows and infirmities, which are not likely to create much sympathy from those around the author, who, at a glance, could have discovered where the pugilist or the racer became meagre or monstrous: the intellectual malady eludes even the tenderness of friendship.

      The more obvious maladies engendered by the life of a student arise from over-study. These have furnished a curious volume to Tissot, in his treatise “On the Health of Men of Letters;” a book, however, which chills and terrifies more than it does good.

      The unnatural fixed postures, the perpetual activity of the mind, and the inaction of the body; the brain exhausted with assiduous toil deranging the nerves, vitiating the digestive powers, disordering its own machinery, and breaking the calm of sleep by that previous state of excitement which study throws us into, are some of the calamities of a studious life: