Three Men and a Maid. P. G. Wodehouse

was dripping, but the contents were only fairly moist.

      "Pa!" said the girl.

      The trouser-seat remained where it was—deaf to its child's cry.

      "Pa! Commere! Wantcha!"

      The trousers did not even quiver. But this girl was a girl of decision. There was some nautical implement resting in a rack convenient to her hand. It was long, solid, and constructed of one of the harder forms of wood. Deftly extracting this from its place she smote her inoffensive parent on the only visible portion of him. He turned sharply, exhibiting a red, bearded face.

      "Pa, this gen'man wants to be took aboard the boat at quarantine. He'll give you fifty berries."

      The wrath died out of the skipper's face like the slow turning down of a lamp. The fishing had been poor, and so far he had only managed to secure a single two-dollar bill. In a crisis like the one which had so suddenly arisen you cannot do yourself justice with a boat-hook.

      "Fifty berries!"

      "Fifty seeds!" the girl assured him. "Are you on?"

      "Queen," said the skipper simply, "you said a mouthful!"

      Twenty minutes later Sam was climbing up the side of the liner as it lay towering over the tug like a mountain. His clothes hung about him clammily. He squelched as he walked.

      A kindly looking old gentleman who was smoking a cigar by the rail regarded him with open eyes.

      "My dear sir, you're very wet," he said.

      Sam passed him with a cold face and hurried through the door leading to the companion-way.

      "Mummie, why is that man wet?" cried the clear voice of a little child.

      Sam whizzed by, leaping down the stairs.

      "Good Lord, sir! You're very wet!" said a steward in the doorway of the dining-saloon.

      "You are wet," said a stewardess in the passage.

      Sam raced for his state-room. He bolted in and sank on the lounge. In the lower berth Eustace Hignett was lying with closed eyes. He opened them languidly—then stared.

      "Hullo!" he said. "I say! You're wet."

      * * * * *

      Sam removed his clinging garments and hurried into a new suit. He was in no mood for conversation, and Eustace Hignett's frank curiosity jarred upon him. Happily, at this point, a sudden shivering of the floor and a creaking of woodwork proclaimed the fact that the vessel was under way again, and his cousin, turning pea-green, rolled over on his side with a hollow moan. Sam finished buttoning his waistcoat and went out.

      He was passing the Enquiry Bureau on the C-Deck, striding along with bent head and scowling brow, when a sudden exclamation caused him to look up, and the scowl was wiped from his brow as with a sponge. For there stood the girl he had met on the dock. With her was a superfluous young man who looked like a parrot.

      "Oh, how are you?" asked the girl breathlessly.

      "Splendid, thanks," said Sam.

      "Didn't you get very wet?"

      "I did get a little damp."

      "I thought you would," said the young man who looked like a parrot. "Directly I saw you go over the side I said to myself: 'That fellow's going to get wet!'"

      There was a pause.

      "Oh!" said the girl, "may I—Mr.—?"

      "Marlowe."

      "Mr. Marlowe. Mr. Bream Mortimer."

      Sam smirked at the young man. The young man smirked at Sam.

      "Nearly got left behind," said Bream Mortimer.

      "Yes, nearly."

      "No joke getting left behind."

      "No."

      "Have to take the next boat. Lose a lot of time," said Mr. Mortimer, driving home his point.

      The girl had listened to these intellectual exchanges with impatience.

       She now spoke again.

      "Oh, Bream!"

      "Hello?"

      "Do be a dear and run down to the saloon and see if it's all right about our places for lunch."

      "It is all right. The table steward said so."

      "Yes, but go and make certain."

      "All right."

      He hopped away and the girl turned to Sam with shining eyes.

      "Oh, Mr. Marlowe, you oughtn't to have done it! Really, you oughtn't! You might have been drowned! But I never saw anything so wonderful. It was like the stories of knights who used to jump into lions' dens after gloves!"

      "Yes?" said Sam, a little vaguely. The resemblance had not struck him.

       It seemed a silly hobby and rough on the lions, too.

      "It was the sort of thing Sir Lancelot or Sir Galahad would have done!

       But you shouldn't have bothered, really! It's all right now."

      "Oh, it's all right now?"

      "Yes. I'd quite forgotten that Mr. Mortimer was to be on board. He has given me all the money I shall need. You see it was this way. I had to sail on this boat in rather a hurry. Father's head clerk was to have gone to the bank and got some money and met me on board and given it to me, but the silly old man was late, and when he got to the dock they had just pulled in the gang-plank. So he tried to throw the money to me in a handkerchief and it fell into the water. But you shouldn't have dived in after it."

      "Oh, well!" said Sam, straightening his tie, with a quiet brave smile. He had never expected to feel grateful to that obese bounder who had shoved him off the rail, but now he would have liked to seek him out and offer him his bank-roll.

      "You really are the bravest man I ever met!"

      "Oh, no!"

      "How modest you are! But I suppose all brave men are modest!"

      "I was only too delighted at what looked like a chance of doing you a service."

      "It was the extraordinary quickness of it that was so wonderful. I do admire presence of mind. You didn't hesitate for a second. You just shot over the side as though propelled by some irresistible force!"

      "It was nothing, nothing really. One just happens to have the knack of keeping one's head and acting quickly on the spur of the moment. Some people have it, some haven't."

      "And just think! As Bream was saying. … "

      "It is all right," said Mr. Mortimer, re-appearing suddenly. "I saw a couple of stewards and they both said it was all right. So it's all right."

      "Splendid," said the girl. "Oh, Bream!"

      "Hello?"

      "Do be an angel and run along to my stateroom and see if Pinky-Boodles is quite comfortable."

      "Bound to be."

      "Yes. But do go. He may be feeling lonely. Chirrup to him a little."

      "Chirrup?"

      "Yes, to cheer him up."

      "Oh, all right."

      "Run along!"

      Mr. Mortimer ran along. He had the air of one who feels that he only needs a peaked cap and a uniform two sizes too small for him to be a properly equipped messenger boy.

      "And, as Bream was saying," resumed the girl, "you might have been left behind."

      "That," said Sam, edging a step closer, "was the thought that tortured me, the thought that a friendship so delightfully begun. …