Bib Ballads. Lardner Ring

at his shoes! We must buy a pair.”)

      Dollar Bill, from the wreckage saved,

      Tell me, how shall I squander you?

      Shall I be shined, shampooed and shaved,

      Singed and trimmed ‘round the edges, too?

      (Hark! A voice from the easy chair:

      “He hasn’t a romper that’s fit to wear.”)

      Dollar Bill, that I cherished so,

      Think of the cigarettes you’d buy,

      Turkish ones, with a kick, you know;

      Makin’s eventually tire a guy.

      (Hark! A voice from the easy chair:

      “Look at those stockings! Just one big tear!”)

      Dollar Bill, it is time to part.

      What do I care for a vaudeville show?

      I’ll shave myself and look just as smart.

      Makin’s aren’t so bad, you know.

      Dollar Bill, we must say good-by;

      There on the floor is the Reason Why.