Fashionably Yours. Swati Sharma

      “You stayed here last night?”

      I ignored the burning sensation on my tongue caused by the steaming hot coffee and concentrated on her instead. Why did she spend a night here? Wasn’t she supposed to be with her awesome boyfriend in his posh apartment after a completely fabulous party?

      “Yes.”

      She was talking in monosyllables now. Fantastic.

      “Why?” I asked gingerly while peering over my coffee.

      “Because you didn’t leave me any bloody choice,” she screeched.

      “What?” I was flummoxed.

      “Stop playing this fucking why-what game with me. Do you have any idea of the damage you did last night?” she screamed.

      “I have no idea what you are talking about,” I whispered. It was the truth.

      “Talk louder for Christ’s sake,” she screamed, again.

      “I don’t know what you are on about,” I said with blank face and equally blank mind.

      “Are you even serious?” she threw me a disgusting look.

      “Yes.” I looked at her with panda eyes.

      “My goodness. The nerve of you,” she jumped to her feet like a ninja and for one second I thought she was going to kick me in my head. “You fucking slapped my boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend, called one of his friends a slut, poured wine on another friend’s jeans, broke his BMW’s window, forcefully opened the door and peed on the driver’s seat.”

      “I peed in a BMW?” I was in shock.

      “You did,” she breathed.

      “Why would I do that?” I croaked.

      “You seriously don’t remember a thing?” she looked at me suspiciously.

      “I don’t.”

      “Well,” she placed her hands on my shoulders and forced me to sit down, “Last night when you arrived at Sameer’s birthday party your mood was already off and on top of that you were quite tipsy.”

      I knew she was putting it mildly. With the amount of wine I had had last night I couldn’t be any less then horribly drunk.

      “You went totally out of control when one of his friends accidently grinded his shin against your arse and you poured red wine on his jeans, which to be honest would have been a first reaction of any sensible girl. And then Sameer started to act like a total moron. He pulled Reeva on his lap and buried his face in her cleavage while she cracked all sorts of dirty jokes. And before I could do anything about it you grabbed her hair, dragged her off his lap and slapped him on the face.” She looked at me wide-eyed.

      “I tried to stop you but you wouldn’t listen. And when I finally managed to get you out of the club, you went all cuckoo at the sight of his BMW in the parking lot. You broke the window by bashing your Aldo against it, opened the door and peed all over the driver’s seat,” she breathed. “Do you seriously not remember any of it?” she was astonished.

      “Wow. Did I do that? Like actually?” I couldn’t believe my ears. I had never hit a fly in my life.

      “Yes. You did.”

      “And you are angry because?”

      “I am angry not because of what you did to him or his friends, they totally deserved it. I am angry because he can report you to the police for violence. It’s a BMW for crying out loud,” she was genuinely concerned.

      ***

      One long shower later I was sprawled on my sofa in my last clean pair of pyjamas and a slightly faded Mickey Mouse T-shirt besides Anu who was looking completely stunning in one of my long T-shirts despite of the fact that it was two sizes too large for her. She made it look chic, like a T-shirt dress. Yes. Sometimes I did hate her.

      “Do you really think he’ll report me to the police?” I asked while slowly working my way through the blueberry muffin.

      “To be honest, not really,” she said with a very calculative face.

      “But just an hour back you said he would.”

      “Well I didn’t say he would. I said he could,” she correctly pointed out. “Listen, babes, he may be a bit of a twat but he is very sensitive about his ego and pride. Though he would want to get back at you for what you did to his car, he is too much of a ‘man’ to go to the police and accept that a girl damaged his car and pride.”

       Shit!

      “OK. But what do you think he can do to get back at me?” I croaked.

      “I don’t know. Jeez, Maya, yesterday you acted so rowdy and strong and now you are concerned about what he might do. Fuck him. Who the hell cares?” she grimaced.

      “I care,” I gulped.

      “Maya!”

      “OK. Fine. Leave it,. Anyway it’s not doing me any good thinking that he could get me kidnapped, murdered or at least arrested for peeing in his BMW. And while we are on this topic I am just curious to know that what the hell you were doing with a guy like him in the first place?”

      “Well. He may be an asshole,” she started carefully but when she noticed my eyes bulging out of my face on her may be she quickly rectified her statement. “OK. Since our first date I knew he is not a guy with passable manners or even a decent character. But I knew that he would be a kind of guy who would buy me flowers without any occasion and take me to endless dinners, lunches, polo matches and even concerts.”

      She took one glance at my scrunched up nose and carried on talking without waiting for me to say anything.

      “He did pamper me like a princess. What else could a girl ask for?”

      “It would have been better to ask for some respect and commitment as well,” I pointed out.

      “Oh come on, Maya. He never disrespected me, not directly at least,” she added hastily as she looked at my unimpressed face.

      “He had another girl sit on his lap. That was disrespect towards you and your relationship,” I stated the obvious.

      “Maya, seriously it’s better to be with someone than to be alone,” she said irritably.

      “And I thought they said that it’s better be alone than to be with someone wrong.”

      “Who says this?”

      “Errrr … Internet, books, movies …”

      “That’s rubbish. Clichéd. OK, tell me what you get out of believing in this shit? You are twenty-five for fuck sake and you’ve never had a relationship. On Saturday nights you sit here and watch crap movies on TV when the entire city is out there; dinning, clubbing and having the time of their lives. I was with him because I didn’t want to be like you. Sitting here, waiting for Mr. Right and sulking. I preferred to be with Mr. Wrong and have fun. What’s wrong with that? He overstepped, I understand and I am so grateful that you stepped in and slapped him. I am happy it’s over but I don’t regret the time I spent with him. Come out of your dream world, Maya, and open your eyes to reality. Live your life for Christ’s sake. Go out, take your chances and have some fun with Mr. Wrong and for the trillionth time just sod-off your idea of the perfect guy. And let me have the honor of bursting the bubble you live in and tell you that there are no Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong. They all are just men and all men are same,” she let it all out.

       Crap movies? They were my life. Now I was hurt.

      “Anu …” before I could string a sentence together she shoved her hand in my face, signalling me to stop, gathered her stuff and stomped out of the flat.