Название | Songbird |
---|---|
Автор произведения | Josephine Cox |
Жанр | Контркультура |
Серия | |
Издательство | Контркультура |
Год выпуска | 0 |
isbn | 9780007283361 |
Against all her instincts, Madeleine felt herself succumbing to his touch. ‘No! Let me go,’ she whispered. ‘I don’t want …’ But her words fell on deaf ears.
Even as she protested, she could not help but love him. Yet it was an uncomfortable love, a love that she knew deep down was not returned in the way she needed it to be, and never could be. Steve Drayton was too damaged a person to know what love meant.
Yet she would have given anything for him to love her completely, to care for her as a woman. And especially now, when she desperately needed him to see her as a future wife.
‘Don’t ever tell me you’re not my woman.’ The tip of his tongue encircled her ear. ‘You will always be my woman,’ he murmured passionately. ‘And God help anyone who tries to come between us.’
‘Steve?’ His nearness was intoxicating.
He stroked her breast, curving it into the palm of his hand. ‘Ssh.’
She stiffened against him, making him draw back slightly. ‘Do you love me? I mean, really love me?’
‘You know I do, otherwise why would I go crazy when I see other men ogling you?’ Cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her full on the mouth. ‘I’d kill anyone who tried to take you away from me.’
‘But are you in love with me?’
He laughed. ‘Haven’t I just said I love you?’
‘Yes, but there is a difference. I mean, you can love a mother or a sister, but being in love is something else.’
‘You’re talking in riddles.’
When he began peeling off her robe, she held him away. ‘No, Steve. I really need you to listen to what I have to say.’ The time was right and she had to tell him now – while she had the courage.
‘What the hell’s wrong with you?’ His need of her was driving him crazy. ‘I know you want it as much as me, I can feel it.’ He slid his open palms over her buttocks. ‘Come on, stop teasing.’
Maddy laid her hands over his. ‘No, Steve! Not until you’ve heard what I’ve got to say.’
Inching away, he looked at her for a moment, at the tears in her eyes, and the nervous way she was fidgeting with her fingers. It puzzled him; a wave of paranoia swept over him. What was she hiding? Why did she look so guilty? ‘What’s going on?’
For weeks, she had dreaded this moment, but it had to be faced – and so had the consequences.
‘I’m pregnant,’ she confessed. ‘That’s why I went away – I needed time to think.’ At the look of horror on his face, she began to gabble, ‘I thought you might be angry. I was planning to get rid of it … I even went to see somebody – an abortion clinic in Harley Street. In the end though, I couldn’t go through with it! I couldn’t kill an innocent baby … our baby.’
Seeing the look of astonishment on his face, she took hold of him, pleading, ‘It’ll be all right, Steve. You said you loved me. We can get married and be a family.’ She giggled nervously. ‘It’s what I’ve always wanted.’
For what seemed an age he stared at her in disbelief then, with one mighty swipe of his fist, he sent her flying across the room.
‘You’re nothing but a slut!’ he shouted. Grabbing her arm, he yanked her to her feet, twice slapping her hard across the mouth. ‘A filthy little slut! What d’you take me for, eh? I’m no fool, I know why you went away. You’ve got yourself a new man, haven’t you, eh? And now he’s got you knocked up and the pair of you think you can offload his bastard onto me?’
‘No!’ Taken aback by his violent reaction, Maddy tried to explain. ‘There is no other man … there’s only ever been you. I swear to God, Steve, it’s your baby. Yours and mine.’
Picking up her hair-drier, he sent it crashing into the mirror, shattering it into a million airborne fragments. Some of the glass splinters cut her face and arms, sending sprays of blood across the wall.
Turning to her, Steve spat out, ‘It sickens me to touch you! You dirty little cow, shaming me in front of everyone. I expect they all knew what was going on – and all the time they were laughing at me behind my back. Bastards, all of you!’
He was like a madman. ‘GET OUT OF HERE – OUT OF MY SIGHT, AND OUT OF MY CLUB! GO ON – CLEAR OFF OUT OF IT!’ As he slung her out the door, his voice was raised to the rafters. ‘He can have you. Who’d want to touch you now? And when I find out who he is, that bastard you’re carrying won’t have a father. Make no mistake, I’ll find out who you’ve been with if it’s the last thing I do. D’YOU HEAR WHAT I’M SAYING! Nobody makes a fool out of Steve Drayton and gets away with it!’ He stormed off into his office, trampling on the broken glass, and kicking it across the room.
From the cloakroom, Alice heard the commotion and came running. Horrified at the sight of Madeleine spattered in blood, she took her by the arm, and led her away. ‘I knew this would happen, I could see it coming,’ she muttered to herself. Glancing up, she saw Drayton peering at them through his office window. ‘Look what you’ve done to her, you lunatic!’ she cried. ‘You should be ashamed! Only a coward would hurt a woman like this!’
Afraid that Alice might enrage him further, Madeleine stopped her. ‘Alice, don’t! He’s gone crazy.’
‘He’s always been crazy,’ Alice said loudly. ‘It’s just that you’ve never believed it.’ Taking her behind the bar, she ran the cold tap and with a clean bar-towel, dabbed at the cuts until they were cleaned, then she went to the first-aid box and smeared them with antiseptic ointment. ‘Thank goodness they are only superficial,’ she consoled her friend. ‘But they’ll take a while to heal, nevertheless. In a minute or two, we’ll get a taxi and go to University College Hospital, to get them seen to properly.’
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Drayton in his office, pacing up and down like a wild animal. ‘Whatever sent him off on the rampage like that?’ she asked worriedly.
Maddy blamed herself. ‘I should never have gone away for all those weeks. I thought it might make him value me more; instead, it made him think I had a lover.’ She was shivering with shock, she was grateful when Alice took off her coat and wrapped it round her.
‘But that’s ridiculous! You’ve always worshipped the ground he walks on – though why, I’ll never know. Look! I’ll tell him how it was, that after the big row you had, it was me who persuaded you to put some distance between you for a time. I’ll tell him there was never any other fella, that there was nothing underhand going on.’
Jerking away, Madeleine shook her head, and the pain made her cry out. ‘I don’t want you to go anywhere near him,’ she said. ‘He wouldn’t listen anyway.’
‘Oh, he’ll listen to me. We’ve clashed many times, and he’s threatened to be rid of me – but I’m still here. That’s because I keep this club operating smoothly where previous people have almost run it into the ground, robbing him blind in the process.’ She squeezed Maddy’s hand gently. ‘Unlike you, my girl, I’ve learned to stand up to him.’ She dialled the local taxi firm. ‘A cab will be here in a minute.’
Madeleine kept a hold on her. ‘No, Alice. Leave him be for now. It was my fault for telling him tonight, after me just turning up without warning. I should have told him tomorrow morning in the light of day maybe, when he might have been more rational.’
Alice’s curiosity was growing. ‘Told him what? It must have touched a nerve, whatever it was, for him to blow up like that.’
Madeleine was still dwelling on Steve Drayton’s reaction. ‘I hoped he might be pleased,’ she said, and began to sob.
Exasperated, Alice tried again. ‘So, what was it you told him?’ Then the truth