Wish Upon A Christmas Cake. Darcie Boleyn

seem tired, dear. Perhaps you should get to bed. It’s Christmas Eve tomorrow and Santa will be coming.’ She flashed me her scarlet-lipped smile and I noticed that she’d cleared away the smudged lipstick and reapplied another coat. Her eyes glistened though, betraying the effect of the alcohol she’d consumed.

      ‘I guess I am a bit tired. It’s been a busy month. It would be nice if Santa really was coming tomorrow.’

      ‘How does that joke go, Katie?’ Karl asked. ‘Oh I know. Why doesn’t Santa have any kids? Because he only comes once a year and then it’s down the chimney. Boom! Boom!’

      I tried to smile but the evening had stirred up a myriad of emotions and I couldn’t help thinking: Why doesn’t Katie Warham have any kids? Because she only comes with a battery-operated device and she’s far too busy to bag a man. Boom! Boom!

      ‘Right, well I’m exhausted, so I’m going to head off up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire!’ Gina announced as she reached for Tanberk’s hand.

      I smiled at her use of Granny’s phrase that had confused me as a child, prompting me to ask my Dad, How is there a place called Bedfordshire upstairs in Granny’s house?

      Tanberk got to his feet and nodded at us all, then allowed Gina to lead him to bed. I’m sure he looked a bit scared. Rebecca followed them soon after, her iPad gripped firmly in her hand as it had been since dinner; an anti-social teenager of the technological revolution. I briefly wondered what the future held for her. Would she actually interact with other people face-to-face or would her social life and her career be conducted online?

      ‘I’m quite tired too,’ Angelo said. ‘I think I’ll take a soak in the bath then get some sleep.’

      ‘I’ll be up in a bit,’ Karl replied as he kissed him before he left the room.

      Karl came over to my sofa. ‘Hey, Sis, can I finally have some of your time?’

      I linked arms with him as he sat down. ‘Of course you can, Big Brother.’

      ‘You’ve been so busy lately that I’ve been worried about you. Mum and Dad said they’ve hardly seen you since the funeral.’ He gazed at me and I half expected to see a reprimand in his eyes, but all I saw was affection and concern. ‘You’re working too hard, Kitty-Kat.’

      ‘I know, Karl, I know. But the business is doing so well.’

      ‘Then employ another person.’

      I nodded. ‘We have had two temporary employees working weekends over the Christmas period and we might well ask them to stay on next year – even if it’s just for a few hours here and there. But it’s still been really busy recently.’

      ‘Your problem is that you’re a workaholic. You know—’ He placed a finger on his chin and scrunched up his face dramatically. ‘I zink zat you are using ze job as a way to forget ozer zings.’

      I laughed at his terrible Freud impression. ‘Stop trying to psychoanalyse me, Karl. I just want the business to succeed.’

      ‘It is succeeding, silly. But you need to live, Baby Sister, before you turn around and find yourself an old spinster. Life won’t wait for you!’ He wagged his finger. ‘I’m just concerned that you’re keeping busy as a way to avoid facing up to the fact that your life is otherwise empty, Katie.’

      I sank backwards into the cushions and stared at the ornate Artex on the ceiling. I traced the circles with my eyes, round and round and round. Karl was right. Life wouldn’t wait for me and apart from my family, Ann and Crumbtious, there wasn’t anyone or anything else that really mattered to me. Undeniably, I had moments of panic where I wondered if I’d ever meet the right guy and sometimes I heard my biological clock ticking but I always tried to muffle the sound. Not every woman had to have kids. I was lucky. I had a job I loved and a best friend and a family. Admittedly, I had a family I didn’t see as often as I could do, but they were there and they knew I loved them. Although since losing Granny I had been more aware of the fact that I could actually lose the rest of them too and that thought had kept me awake for more nights than I cared to admit.

      ‘I just want to see you happy, Katie.’ Karl kissed my cheek and smoothed my curls from my forehead, then gently examined my tender bruise. ‘Harrison was the wrong guy. He messed up but there are other men out there.’

      ‘And all the good ones are gay.’ I grinned and tweaked his nose.

      ‘Hey!’ He swatted my hand. ‘But sadly, you’re probably right, Kitty-Kat. I mean, there’s me and then there’s Angelo.’

      ‘He’s an absolute dream.’

      ‘Isn’t he just? You know, I think that he might just be…the one.’

      ‘Oooh!’ I clapped my hands. ‘Are we going to have a wedding?’

      ‘Well one of us better get hitched soon to keep the matriarch happy.’ He giggled as he glanced at our mother and I joined him. I would much prefer Karl to experience her interference in his wedding any day. Just the thought of trying to please her as I made wedding plans turned me cold. Yes, Karl could be the one to get married and perhaps he could be the one to have kids. As for me, I would just have to eat cake and get a cat.

      ‘Oh and, Kitty-Kat, I do love you, so you’d prefer me to be honest with you, right?’

      My heart sank. What did he have to tell me? What had I done, or failed to do?

      ‘Ur…yeah.’ I bit my lip.

      ‘You need to tone it down a bit.’

      ‘Tone what down?’

      ‘The bronzer. You’d fit right in on a reality-TV show with your face caked like that. Actually, you’d make a few of those girls look anaemic.’

      I covered my cheeks with my hands. What did he mean? It hadn’t been very bright in my room when I’d gotten ready and I had been in kind of a rush.

      I stood and peered at my reflection in the mirror above the fireplace. Oh no! I resembled an Oompa Loompa with cheeks to rival Aunt Sally. If Worzel Gummidge could see me now, he’d be offering me a nice cup of tea and a slice of cake. Even worse, was knowing that Sam had seen me like this. So when I’d flattered myself by thinking he was smiling at me over dinner, fantasising that he might be thinking I’d matured into a belle to rival Angelina Jolie – the wine was strong – he must actually have been laughing quietly at my toxic-orange face. How awful! I’d never be able to face him again! I’d have to stay in my room all through the holidays. I would have to hide myself away.

      Suddenly grumpy, I asked, ‘Why is Sam here?’ I sank back into my seat and accepted the tissue that Karl offered.

      ‘Didn’t I tell you last week on the phone? It was a busy one with trying to wrangle my latest contract and jetting back from visiting Angelo’s family in Verona. I must have forgotten and I feel terrible now.’

      I shook my head as I rubbed furiously at my cheeks with the tissue until my skin tingled. ‘No, you didn’t say anything about him coming too.’

      ‘Well he did only decide last minute really. But I thought that it would do him good to get away. I was afraid that it would be weird for the two of you but as so much has happened since…since then, I hoped that you’d be okay with it. It’s the first anniversary, you see, and I didn’t want him and the kids home alone. At least here he can have the privacy and space of the old lodge just off the driveway, whilst being near to us – if and when he needs company.’

      ‘Anniversary?’

      I watched his lips moving as I tried to absorb what he was saying and the words seemed familiar somehow. While I’d been wrapped up in my business and trying to maintain a charade of a relationship with Harrison, one of our oldest friends had been through hell. Correct that; the man I’d once loved with all my heart had been through hell. Sam had lost his wife a year ago on Boxing Day. She was a nurse and she’d been driving