PS, I Love You. Cecelia Ahern

      ‘What’s so funny, Father?’

      Frank shifted in his seat nervously. ‘I just find it remarkable that all this happens in one tiny little test tube.’

      Richard let out a disapproving sigh at his father’s stupidity. ‘Yes, but you have to understand these are so minuscule, Father, it’s rather fascinating. The organisms combine with the …’ And away he went again while his father settled back down in his chair and tried to avoid eye contact with Holly.

      Holly tiptoed quietly into the kitchen where she found her brother at the table with his feet up on a chair, munching on some food. ‘Ah, here he is, the Naked Chef himself.’

      Jack smiled and stood up. ‘There’s my favourite sister.’ He scrunched up his nose. ‘I see you got roped into coming to this thing as well.’ He walked towards her and held out his arms to offer her one of his big bear hugs. ‘How are you?’ he said quietly into her ear.

      ‘I’m OK, thanks.’ Holly smiled sadly and kissed him on the cheek before turning to her mother. ‘Darling Mother, I am here to offer my services at this extremely stressful and busy time of your life,’ Holly said, planting a kiss on her mother’s flushed cheek.

      ‘Oh, aren’t I just the luckiest woman in the world, having such caring children like you?’ Elizabeth said sarcastically. ‘Tell you what, you can just drain the water from the potatoes there.’

      ‘Mum, tell us about the time when you were a little girl during the famine and the spuds were gone,’ Jack said, putting on an exaggerated Irish accent.

      Elizabeth hit him across the head playfully with the tea towel. ‘Ah sure, ’tis years before my time, son.’

      ‘Sure, ’tis true,’ said Jack.

      ‘No, you t’aren’t at all,’ joined in Holly.

      They both stopped and stared at her. ‘Since when is there such a word as “t’aren’t”?’ laughed her mum.

      ‘Ah, shut up, the both of you.’ Holly joined her brother at the table.

      ‘I hope you two won’t be getting up to any mischief tonight. I would like this to be an argument-free zone for a change.’

      ‘Mother, I am shocked the thought even crossed your mind.’ Jack winked across to Holly.

      ‘All right,’ she said, not believing a word of it. ‘Well, sorry, my babies, but there’s nothing else to be done here. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.’

      ‘Oh.’ Holly was disappointed.

      Elizabeth joined her children at the table and the three of them stared at the kitchen door, all thinking the same thing.

      ‘No, Abbey,’ squealed Emily loudly, ‘you’re not doing what I tell you,’ and she burst into tears. This was shortly followed by a loud guffaw from Richard; he must have cracked a joke because he was the only one laughing.

      ‘But I suppose it’s important that we all stay here and keep an eye on the dinner,’ Elizabeth added.

      ‘OK, everyone, dinner is served,’ announced Elizabeth, and the family made their way to the dining room. There was an awkward moment like at a children’s birthday party while everyone scuffled to sit beside their best friend. Eventually Holly was satisfied with her position at the table and settled down with her mother on her left at the end of the table and Jack to her right. Abbey sat with a scowl on her face as she had been placed between Jack and Richard. Jack would have some making up to do when he got home. Declan sat opposite Holly and wedged in between him was an empty seat where Timothy should be sitting, then Emily and Meredith, then Ciara. Holly’s father got a raw deal, sitting at the head of the table between Richard and Ciara, but he was such a calm man he was the best one for the job.

      Everyone oohed and aahed as Elizabeth brought out the food and its aroma filled the room. Holly had always loved her mother’s cooking; she was never afraid to experiment with new flavours and recipes, a trait that had not been passed down to her daughter.

      ‘Hey, poor little Timmy must be starving out there,’ Ciara exclaimed to Richard. ‘He must have done his time by now.’

      She knew she was skating on thin ice but she loved the danger of it and, more importantly, she loved to wind up Richard. After all, she had to make up for lost time – she had been away for a year.

      ‘Ciara, it’s important that Timothy knows when he has done something wrong,’ explained Richard.

      ‘Yeah, but couldn’t you just tell him?’

      The rest of the family tried hard not to laugh.

      ‘He needs to know that his actions will lead to serious consequences so he will not repeat it.’

      ‘Ah well,’ she said, raising her voice a few decibels, ‘he’s missing all this yummy food. Mmm mmm mmm,’ she said, licking her lips.

      ‘Stop it, Ciara,’ Elizabeth snapped.

      ‘Or you’ll have to stand in the corner,’ Jack added sternly.

      The table erupted with laughter – bar Meredith and Richard, of course.

      ‘So, Ciara, tell us about your adventures in Australia,’ Frank moved swiftly on.

      Her eyes lit up. ‘Oh, I had the most amazing time, Dad. I would definitely recommend going there to anyone.’

      ‘Awful long flight, though,’ Richard said.

      ‘Yeah, it is but it’s so worth it.’

      ‘Did you get any more tattoos?’ Holly asked.

      ‘Yeah, look.’ With that, Ciara stood up at the table and pulled down her trousers, revealing a butterfly on her behind.

      Mum, Dad, Richard and Meredith protested in outrage while the others sat in convulsions of laughter. Finally, when Ciara had apologised and Meredith had removed her hands from Emily’s eyes, the table settled down.

      ‘They are revolting things,’ Richard said in disgust.

      ‘I think butterflies are pretty, Daddy,’ said Emily with big innocent eyes.

      ‘Yes, some butterflies are pretty, Emily, but I’m talking about tattoos. They can give you all sorts of diseases and problems.’ Emily’s smile faded.

      ‘Hey, I didn’t exactly get this done in a dodgy place sharing needles with drug users, you know. The place was perfectly clean.’

      ‘Well, that’s an oxymoron if ever I heard one,’ sniffed Meredith.

      ‘Been in one recently, Meredith?’ Ciara asked a bit too forcefully.

      ‘Well, em … n-n-n-no,’ she stuttered, ‘I have never been in one, thank you very much, but I am sure they are.’ Then she turned to Emily. ‘They are dirty, horrible places, Emily, where only dangerous people go.’

      ‘Is Aunt Ciara dangerous, Mummy?’

      ‘Only to five-year-old little girls with red hair,’ Ciara said, stuffing her face with potatoes.

      Emily froze.

      ‘Richard dear, do you think that Timmy might want to come in now for some food?’ Elizabeth asked politely.

      ‘It’s Timothy,’ Meredith interrupted.

      ‘Yes, Mother, I think that would be OK.’

      A very sorry little Timothy walked slowly into the room with his head down, and took his place silently beside Declan. Holly’s heart leaped out to him. How cruel to treat a child like that, how cruel to stop him from being a child … Her sympathy diminished immediately as she felt his foot kick her shin underneath the table. They should have left him out there.

      ‘So, Ciara, come on, give us the gossip. Do anything wild and wonderful out there?’ Holly pushed for more information.